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I think i screw second date.
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Author:  Lec [ Wed Mar 05, 2014 5:23 pm ]
Post subject:  I think i screw second date.

I met this girl online (let's call her A) at first but we met per accident at a friends party. We really hit it off that night and she really seems to like me. Two days later i'm in a bar with one of her friend. This one say to her that i'm here and she came but goes away because she is shy... and came back again because she thinks she is stupid ( she says this to me after). I bring her back to her place, i don't do anything because we are both drunk. I just set up a date, three day later.

The date is going well, she is really fun. We end up at my place and we slept together. She didn't gave me a lot of IOI, neither i felt some kind of sexual tension or even if she was open to a kiss. It was really hard for me to know.
I don't know if it's because of her shyness or for other reason.
So the morning after the first date she just ask me if i want to eat at her place the evening. I accept.
Know i thought that this morning she was distant (same as in the first date) so i decide that i will be distant, in order to gauge her reaction. She cooks for me, so we eat and watch some serie (yeah it sucks for a 2nd date, i would had prefer something more fun, but the two of us have no money). But it still the same as the first date, not really a sexual vibe, more a friendly one (even from me).
While watching serie, we are in her bed, but i don't decide to cuddle or try to kiss her. Except at the end (and it's really little one), she don't seems to give me some opening.
I decide to go.
I'm just a little confuse by what happen, if i should have try something (yep), or if we are mutually in the friendzone. This situation is so strange (perhaps also because i'm out of a 3 years relationships, and it's the same for here) and don't really know how to analyze it. Is she even interest?
Last thing : She says to me that it's the first time since a long time that she felt such a connection with someone (and it's the same for me).
I want to take it slow. And yeah sleeping with her on the first date was for me a mistake. But i'm scared to take the things to slow and not sexual enough.
I think another problem is, she is the second date i have since my break up. I really feel like i forget everything, how to flirt, how to have sex. I just don't know anymore. Is this normal?

Author:  anthonypham [ Wed Mar 05, 2014 6:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I think i screw second date.

You didn't escalate.

The second date may be nice, but definitely no attraction has been created. The way you have experienced it, is also the way she has experienced.

SInce no escalation, the whole date was low-energy. Depending on how much the girl likes you, there may be a third date. YOu will notice that set up an eventually third date will be much harder than the second one. Still not impossible.

If third date, escalate !! Don't put too much attention to the words the girl is saying. Actually when the girl is saying 'i want to take it slowly' , she means whatever happens you can not blame her (=ASD). Because she wanted to take it slowly, but you escalate (she was open for this)

Author:  Lec [ Fri Mar 07, 2014 3:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I think i screw second date.

Well i saw her today for a coffe, not a fun date... I'm definitely in the frienzone.
It's strange because before i never used kino and it went well for me. I don't know if i'm still under the effect of my break up or if dating become harder for me. For now i just hope she will be a good friends.
But it sucks a little, don't know if it's because, even if it's my mystake and she was interested in the beginning, i have the rejection of my break up to deal with.

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