Here is some back story info, I was always outgoing around people that I am comfortable with. 4 years ago, I really got into "the game" by neal strous. Fast forward 2 years, and 20 or so meaningless hook ups later, I started smoking bud. I was given the clarity to see that I was bein the asshole that chicks loved to have a fling with. I started smoking more, paused my dating life to focus on "finding myself" and focus on my work and my hobbies that lasted 2 years. I still enjoy my hobbies and still work a lot. Also, I realized that my whole life is going to be that grand search.
So now im comfortable with myself to consider dating again but this time, with the empathy to think about a significant other as often (if not more) as I had once thought about myself in the past.
The one side effet to solitude, however, is a slight decrease in my social skills (which has increased 10 fold in the past 2 months) and the confidence I once had to progress towards sexy time. Its almost as if im now working against myself by taking things slow and trying not to come off as thinking of them as just a hook up. Maybe my niceness is being interpreted as a weakness and a lack of confidence? its funny how it was easier to get chicks when being that cocky, conceited and self absorbed ass hole that I was in the past.
Oh and I quit marijuana thanks to my vape pen. This genius contraption showed me that I was not addicted to hookah, cannabis or cigarettes.. it was the act of exhaling cumulonimbus-esq clouds from my mouth that I enjoyed. Pondering this further lead to the self discovery that I was actually just trying to pass time or cure being bored. This realization ultimately lead to a boost in self confidence because I had found out that I wasnt really addicted to a substance, just the smoke that followed suit.
This is me!
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I know confidence has nothing to do with looks... but it sure as hell helps with the end goal! 
I have further questions for those that seem to have experience with this.