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Hot n Cold vs Freeze-Out
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Author:  Sid696 [ Wed Nov 20, 2013 3:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Hot n Cold vs Freeze-Out

Wich one is more efective to turn a friend I see almost every day into a girlfriend?

A full blown freeze out (wich may make things awkward) or a hot and cold aproach, when I alternate between evasive answers and cold atitude to make her miss me and my usual fun self to let her know I'm still there?

If it matters, this girl is very sensitive to my mood changes and always notices when there is something wrong.

Thank you.

Author:  TheFury [ Wed Nov 20, 2013 3:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot n Cold vs Freeze-Out

Quote:
Wich one is more efective to turn a friend I see almost every day into a girlfriend?

A full blown freeze out (wich may make things awkward) or a hot and cold aproach, when I alternate between evasive answers and cold atitude to make her miss me and my usual fun self to let her know I'm still there?

If it matters, this girl is very sensitive to my mood changes and always notices when there is something wrong.

Thank you.
I think as close to full blown freeze out as you can do without it being super weird.

Author:  Sid696 [ Thu Nov 21, 2013 4:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot n Cold vs Freeze-Out

O.K. How long do I wait? Is there any sign she is ready for the take?

Author:  n2thevoid [ Thu Nov 21, 2013 8:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot n Cold vs Freeze-Out

Freeze-out only works if there's some semblance of romantic interest or lust in the equation.

If its strictly plutonic for the other person, they'll miss your absence but that won't generate romantic and/or sexual feelings if there weren't any to begin with.

You'd freeze out a girlfriend or potential mate if you know they're enjoying your presence but aren't catering to your wants (it's almost never needs), which basically means you aren't happy about them not catering to your ego. What this does is hits out at their attachment fear (they presumably don't want to lose you) and makes them chase. Perhaps a bit of a curde example, but remember back to when you were a kid when your parents gave you a time-out (basically ignored you) as punishment? Maybe you don't, but maybe you know of a childhood friend or relative who was treated in such a manner by his or her parents. What do you think that does, the time-out or "freeze-out"? It's punishment, sure, but it doesn't show the child (or adult) the corrective or desirable behaviour - it only teaches them what NOT to do. It also plays heavy on existential loneliness, what does it feel like for you to be frozen-out by someone of value to you? Rejecting? Despair? Hurt? Frustrating? Confusion? Hostility? Those don't sound like healthy negative emotions to me.

Sure, in some cases it works, but really ask yourself if what you want is to be in a relationship where you feel the need to push on a person's attachment buttons every time they do something you don't like. To me it sounds coercive, mean, and the breeding ground for further insecurity for both of you. The ends, of course, doesn't always justify the means.

Author:  In$tinct [ Thu Nov 21, 2013 9:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot n Cold vs Freeze-Out

Freeze-out is a strong tool.

It can generate a feeling of missing you. As the previous poster said, this will not turn into romantic interest, but when you get back to the girl it will get her into a really high emotional state which then can be used to your advantage.

Also, a freeze-out helps you to clear your head up. And to improve on yourself so when you get back you will be a more attractive person.

The former application applies to shorter time-spans while the later is usually for a longer term.

What I found the best to turn friends into girlfriends is that you don't freeze-out. You simply introduce sexuality and start acting like you're not afraid to lose her in this process. It may confuse her but if you calibrate it properly then you can get to the point when it is starting to become a question where your relationship stands on this friendship-lover scale. And then you just make your move without hesitation. This is just how I got my ex and my current girlfriend. It was easier with the ex because I hadn't known her for long, but I had known my current girlfriend for 3 years when we got together. It is a game of patience and of course you should never stop gaming other women in this process because on the long term you will just fall in love if you focus on one woman and then you're likely to blow your chances in a matter of seconds. An important thing to note about this method that it works 100% if the girl was initially attracted to you and it works close to 0% if she was not. So it's important to know where you stand. However I don't really waste so much time on girls who are not attracted to me because it's a pain in the ass and lots of struggle to turn that around. Simply no woman deserves so much of my time spent on her. Call me arrogant, I don't care. They don't beat around me for months to get the D so why would I do that with a completely unsure case? Simple as that.

Peace,
In$tinct.

Author:  Sid696 [ Thu Nov 21, 2013 9:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot n Cold vs Freeze-Out

I see your point, and thank you both.

The part of "introducing sexuality" may be a bit hard, since this girl is a bigger pervert than me, wich was what atracted me in the first place, so that's pretty much done and covered.

About atraction, that is a bit uncertain. I'm a "nice guy", she friendzoned me from the start (talked about her ex), but never rejected (and reciprocated) my escalation, although I wasn't able to close so far (the times we have been out it has been with friends, and she flaked on a 1 on 1).

Any tips on creating/building atraction?

Author:  In$tinct [ Thu Nov 21, 2013 9:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot n Cold vs Freeze-Out

As long as you're friends there is no real way to "create" attraction. You can increase sexual tension, and tease her and see how she reacts. If she is receptive to that then there may be some chances, if she's not affected or outright dislikes this then the mathematical possibility of getting her dramatically decreases.

Author:  Sid696 [ Fri Nov 22, 2013 5:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot n Cold vs Freeze-Out

She started by disliking it, then ignored it, but when I say nothing sexual for a few days she asks what's wrong and tries to provoke a reaction from me, then when I get back to it she usually says something like "I missed your dirty mind" or "Good, the pervert's back".

Still, I'm going on a 2 week business trip and will take the chance to try the freeze-out.

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