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"I don't date/go get coffee with players"
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Author:  hugow [ Wed Nov 20, 2013 12:16 am ]
Post subject:  "I don't date/go get coffee with players"
I'm a college student. I went to meet up with a buddy so we could out sarging. I had a day off from classes but he was in the lecture hall finishing up with the class. One of his classmates was a solid HB9. As everyone was gathering their books and stuff up to leave I opened (indirectly) and when she answered and didn't blow me out I used the false time constraint of us having to leave to tell her (not ask her) we should go for coffee. She responded by saying "I don't date players". I smiled, laughed and didn't even flinch and replied with "It's not a date, it's just 2 people grabbing a coffee" To which she replied "I don't go get coffee with players either." I didn't get a chance to reply because someone called her name from across the room and she grabbed her book and took off.

I am more than a little miffed by this. I usually have no trouble with girls, I have lots of social proof around campus. My buddy told me she is not a student in the class but is a research assistant to the professor and about about to get her second PhD. It's not like it's oneitis, I have and game lots of other girls but I am just wondering what happened here since I have never gotten this response before. I am an outgoing and social guy and girls usually like that. If I see her again should I just play it off, or respond in a different way? I'm stumped and have no idea what to say or do here.

(edited for spelling)
Author:  Invictus85 [ Wed Nov 20, 2013 12:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "I don't date/go get coffee with players"
hugow,

from what I can tell you did everything right and it might just have been that someone had used the false time constraint recently on her or that she has read The Game in the past.

This being said, I believe that you actually can turn the entire scenario around in your favor. She called you out on "being a player" which you neither affirmed nor denied- actually her entire defense being based upon you being a player. Utilize that to your advantage. She judged you prematurely and was "mean" to you ;)

Ask her out again for coffee when you see her, give her just a second to think, and add "or are you going to accuse me again of being a player without even bothering to get to know me?" If you do that, you basically called her out on being rude, which a) will take her down a little from her HB9 horse, and b) make her look like a bitch if she says no to the coffee again. You should get your coffee with her that way and then you just need to make sure to bring your A-Game and leave anything she could know from The Game at home ;)

Sarge on,

Invictus85
Author:  fishnwomen [ Wed Nov 20, 2013 4:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "I don't date/go get coffee with players"
Yes, turn it around on her like above poster said.

Next time, I would say something like: "You know that was pretty rude, I would never think of calling a girl a whore the first time I met her."

She has probably read game.
Author:  southern_gentlemangq [ Wed Nov 20, 2013 4:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "I don't date/go get coffee with players"
girls talk bro...if you got one of them and then im sure they're going to tell their friends....dre from the movie "how to be a player" basically went through the same thing as you so you can turn this all around by doing what Invictus85 said to do.
Author:  Invictus85 [ Wed Nov 20, 2013 6:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "I don't date/go get coffee with players"
Quote:
Yes, turn it around on her like above poster said.

Next time, I would say something like: "You know that was pretty rude, I would never think of calling a girl a whore the first time I met her."

She has probably read game.

Ok, little tip, while fishnwomen has the right approach, don't use the word whore. You will put her on the defense with that as it is too aggressive. It would work as a burn but not for your purposes. You always want to be smooth. Think James Bond. You want her to feel like she was rude but not like you are hurt the slightest by it. You want to be like a smooth Whiskey- leave a pleasant aftertaste and not an unpleasant burn.

Sarge On,

Invictus85
Author:  fishnwomen [ Wed Nov 20, 2013 6:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "I don't date/go get coffee with players"
It's all about delivery, not so much about the words themselves.

You can get away with saying a lot if you deliver it right.

I have called a girl a "deadbeat white trash whore" in the right tone and have gotten a good reaction.

I have successfully opened with "Who the F*** are you?"

But yes, you do need to deliver like James Bond.
Author:  DeleteMyAccount [ Wed Nov 20, 2013 10:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "I don't date/go get coffee with players"
Hey Hugow,

This is a Great Question. It sounds like you did a great open, but the timing for her may not of been good. Since she's a research assistant for the professor, she was technically "at her job". It may have made her look bad in front of the teacher or other students to accept your offer.

I know that when I have been called a player in the past its often because I'm not coming across as authentic. If a woman senses a miscalibration, then they will often throw up this defense.
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: "I don't date/go get coffee with players"
"Player? I'm really shy! I don't know how to talk to girls."

Reframe homie. Don't try and convince a girl logically... Girls aren't logical.
Author:  hugow [ Sat Nov 23, 2013 5:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "I don't date/go get coffee with players"
Thanks for the advice guys. All of it was solid and you have definitely reminded me that I still have lots to learn. I had a chance to approach a second time but unfortunately I was not successful. I happened to run into her on campus not far from the library while we were both alone. I re-introduced myself and placed her from where we met last time (my buddy's class) I also asked her to go for a coffee again. Here's how the convo went:

Her: I already told you, I don't go out with players
Me: Whoa. I'm actually shy around girls and totally not a player. That's kind of rude for you to judge me without even getting to know me
Her: Oh really?! I've seen you around campus. You're hit on every girl you see. You use lame pick-up lines that only airheads would fall for. You always have a girl with you but it's never the same girl for very long, and you date multiple women at the same time. You also brag about your conquests to your friends when you think no one is listening. If that's not the definition of a player then please enlighten me as to what is

I was so gobsmacked I honestly couldn't think of a reply, and she tilted her head, shrugged and walked off.

Now I have never been called out before. I'm not mad or anything I'm just miffed. I have 3 dates this weekend (with 3 different girls) and at this very moment I am texting 2 of them plus another girl I have yet to confirm a day 2 with. A classmate also gave me her number today. I'm not trying to brag I am just showing that I have social proof and my supposed "player" status doesn't bother these other girls, so I'm not sure why it would bother this one. I also had no idea she had seen me around campus because I had never noticed it before. Now I'm wondering if I should try again if I see her (maybe play a different angle?) or if I should just forget this one and move on? And how should I approach things if I get called out again. It's not oneitis or anything but this girl is smart and I think we could actually have a decent conversation. Thanks again guys!
Author:  southern_gentlemangq [ Mon Nov 25, 2013 1:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "I don't date/go get coffee with players"
Quote:
Thanks for the advice guys. All of it was solid and you have definitely reminded me that I still have lots to learn. I had a chance to approach a second time but unfortunately I was not successful. I happened to run into her on campus not far from the library while we were both alone. I re-introduced myself and placed her from where we met last time (my buddy's class) I also asked her to go for a coffee again. Here's how the convo went:

Her: I already told you, I don't go out with players
Me: Whoa. I'm actually shy around girls and totally not a player. That's kind of rude for you to judge me without even getting to know me
Her: Oh really?! I've seen you around campus. You're hit on every girl you see. You use lame pick-up lines that only airheads would fall for. You always have a girl with you but it's never the same girl for very long, and you date multiple women at the same time. You also brag about your conquests to your friends when you think no one is listening. If that's not the definition of a player then please enlighten me as to what is

I was so gobsmacked I honestly couldn't think of a reply, and she tilted her head, shrugged and walked off.

Now I have never been called out before. I'm not mad or anything I'm just miffed. I have 3 dates this weekend (with 3 different girls) and at this very moment I am texting 2 of them plus another girl I have yet to confirm a day 2 with. A classmate also gave me her number today. I'm not trying to brag I am just showing that I have social proof and my supposed "player" status doesn't bother these other girls, so I'm not sure why it would bother this one. I also had no idea she had seen me around campus because I had never noticed it before. Now I'm wondering if I should try again if I see her (maybe play a different angle?) or if I should just forget this one and move on? And how should I approach things if I get called out again. It's not oneitis or anything but this girl is smart and I think we could actually have a decent conversation. Thanks again guys!
LMFAOOOOOO i told you you probably had a rep.....im sure there are ways to get her but what i would do is become her friend first and gain her trust...if you see her much you can simply start a convo with no pick up lines (you can make a joke out of the what she said) but honestly my gut tells me you should give up....because being good at anything means you know when to quit lol
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