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Don't want to lose my one-itis. Should I explain intentions?
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Author:  OG_PlMP [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 7:14 am ]
Post subject:  Don't want to lose my one-itis. Should I explain intentions?
Let me start by saying this girl isn't my oneitis just yet but tomorrow I plan to break it off with the other girl ive been dating for 2 years, and I'm not currently talking to anyone else besides these two.

Anyway, so this girl and I kinda have a FWB type situation. She's really on again off again, so I'm not quite sure what she's looking for (is it good to ask?). Basically, we are ex-coworkers. We ended up hooking up on a vegas trip with friends, after that we kind of dated since. By kind of I mean mostly we meet up, chill, drink, have sex, then leave for the day. We've done other things as well, such as dinner before drinking/sex and movie before drinking/sex. We've never had sex sober if it matters.

So after the first 2 times we went out, I try to invite her out for a third time and she gives me the LJBF speech on text. She specifies just friends, not FWB. I act indifferent and end up going out with her still (as friends), we end up fucking that night too. We go out a few more times after that, and while we still had sex, she was telling me about how she hung out with this other guy who's really into her. They just talked, and she told him she doesn't want to have sex for the first 10 dates (laughed at how easy it was for me lol). So she's clearly dating other guys. I haven't talked about other girls I've dated/gone out with...should I?

As for what I'm looking for, a relationship would be nice but I'm perfectly happy with FWB as well. I've considered asking her what she's looking for between me and her, is this a good idea? I've also considered instead, me telling her that I'm not looking for any type of relationship right now, but if it leads to it then thats cool. Basically, I don't want to come off as needy with this conversation and don't want to lose what we've got. If I do have this convo should it be in texting or in person after sex?

Edit: she also wants to meet my friends (I plan to introduce soon), asked if I or anyone I know am interested in her friend (she wants to play matchmaker lol), and asks if my friends are hot.

Edit 2: I'm also considering telling her that after she gave me the LJBF speech, I started hooking up with this other girl and I want to stop seeing her. Kinda brings up jealousy, shows that I get other girls too, etc. Also since she talks about her dates with guys I feel maybe I should as well. Is this a terrible or a great idea?
Author:  OG_PlMP [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 6:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't want to lose my one-itis. Should I explain intenti
She's coming over tonight...any advice before I talk to her?
Author:  OG_PlMP [ Wed Nov 20, 2013 1:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't want to lose my one-itis. Should I explain intenti
So she's coming over in 1 hour. I'm thinking I'd rather lean toward FWB for now. So I'm thinking to ask whats up with her and that one guy and if she gave it up yet. Then say give the poor guy a break, and be like the poor guy probably hasn't been laid in years and to "throw the dog a bone" - thus making me look good and indifferent and him look bad. Honestly if he can't escalate with this girl then he probably hasn't been laid in years. I got no LMR whatsoever with her.

When she asks what I did today I'm thinking of telling her some of the things I did including "had the most awkward conversation with this girl today, i made her cry. i felt so bad" then going on to explain that after we agreed to just be friends I started hooking up with this girl, but she got really clingy - like calling every day and wanting to have a relationship. Then explain her body is a perfect 10 but her personality just isn't something I can deal with right now - again this would stress the fact that we should be FWB and not exclusive.

What do ya think?
Author:  DeleteMyAccount [ Wed Nov 20, 2013 11:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't want to lose my one-itis. Should I explain intenti
Great Posts OG_Pimp,

It sounds like you have this girl digging your mojo. Congrats! I would Highly recommend against initiating a Define the Relationship (DTR) talk. This is the girls job to do when she feels like she wants to take it to the next level. If you do want her to become a girlfriend, then just start doing more stuff with her that is girlfriend/boyfriend like. Go on dates, cook dinner for each other, introduce her to your friends, meet her friends and generally have fun together. You never have to define anything, she will know exactly where you are taking her.

If you want to keep her as a FWB, then keep doing what your doing; don't be needy at all, don't bring up other guys and distract her with another topic if she does. Give her the best sex of her life and don't get upset if she gets a boyfriend and goes away. She will likely be back when she's done with him.
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