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I have no idea what's going on - anybody?
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Author:  omgakawtf [ Thu Nov 07, 2013 3:48 pm ]
Post subject:  I have no idea what's going on - anybody?
Hello all!

I'll keep this short, well as short as possible. So, my previous posts were about a girl from work. I canned that and moved on to reconnecting with two sisters (twins) that I worked with about 6 years ago.

So I reconnected, agreed a "catchup" and we a had a great time. One (#1) is in a LTR of four years but was very keen (all the usual IOI's, and I mean major IOI's) and the other was single. The one who is in a LTR is more dominant, forceful and expressive. The other is shy, reserved and single (#2). Obviously, this is the one I'm trying to figure out, ha. For the record, on the first meet, #2 left early as she was tired. As soon as she went, #1 hinted three times that she was single in general conversation. #1 was uncomfortably attracted to me at times though, saying how good I looked, what a great person I was and body language wise, it was probably the most overt signs of attraction I've seen! (I won't go into all of it, but it ticks almost every box, ha_

Anyway, after the meet, (#2) FB's me and says it was great meeting me again and would I like to go round to her sisters with her, #1 and #1's boyfriend the following week. I say yes, but midweek, I don't really contact (I got ill but I could have at least said something earlier). Anyway, midweek, I say that I'm better and would they like a drink. We agree a time and on the day, #2 messages and says can we rearrange for the next day. I say I'm busy (I'm not) and could we reschedule. We reschedule for the following week. Before I finish, I give her my number and she responds by giving me hers.

Anyway, we meet again the following week and it goes very well with both #1, #1's boyfriend and #2. #2 is now showing obvious signs of interest and we're both hinting at potential future plans (this restaurant, that place etc etc). Curiously, we're being left alone together at moments by the #1 and #1's BF at some points in the evening. I'm not applying any kino as of yet but I'm negging her, building rapport, doing all the usual stuff and DHV. I've then got an invite out for the weekend (though I say I can't make it, which I genuinely can't) and to a halloween party. Between us all, there's a lot of talk about meeting up and doing things together as a group, just like the first meet.

Now, after meeting two with them I'm absolutely sure I've got this in the bag. I've built comfort and now. Ha, whoops. So, we agree to meet before the halloween party on Thursday and on the day, I send a reminder. #2 responds that she's busy helping her sister getting the flat ready before the party (Friday). She cancels and says she's looking forward to seeing me tomorrow. I leave it at that and don't question the flake. (Oh, I forgot to mention, #1 sometimes responds on behalf of her on Facebook - wtf is that all about?)

I go to the halloween party and #2 meets me outside. We chat a little together and go upstairs. I met #1's boyfriends friends and the best friend of #1 and #2. Curiously, #1 pays me far more attention than #2 and even kino's me at every opportunity! I do manage to strike up a decent conversation with #2 for a good 15-20 minutes at the party and flirt some more (a little kino as well etc)... Then, off she goes again. Curiously, during a chat with #1, I find out that she goes on dates with #2! (not with her, but as a "group" thing).

Later, I meet her best friend and she comes up again and tells her friend that I'm the funniest guy she knows, staring at me and now touching my shoulder... and it appears her friend knows about me already.


Meh, anyway - I was told I should stay round by #1, #1's BF but I couldn't - I had work in the morning and it was late. I make my excuses, say goodbye to everyone. #2 and me are now in the hallway, and we hug goodbye. Someone interrupts briefly. We hug again after and then I ask her how to get out of the place (huge apartment complex). She joins me outside and shows me to the lifts. We're there for a good minute or so, talking. All this time I'm thinking (escalate) but I don't feel like I've been given enough interest to do so.

Lift beeps, I get in and we say goodbye again.

Her sister FB's me on Saturday (using her login again) and thanks me for their halloween "gifts" and hopes that I had a good time. I don't reply til late as I was at work. Later, on Sunday, I FB #2 and she responds immediately. Anyway, we have a good chat and we agree to go out this Thursday (today). She "can't wait" and is "really looking forward to it" and I leave it at that as I don't want to be an annoying, clingy turd.

Midday, I get a message she can't meet me as she has a meeting a work. (BTW, she works at the same place in the same dept as her sister). I'm pretty pissed about this as it's pretty much the third time now but I've just responded with;

"Hi XXXX, that's fine, hope you're well too. If you've got to go to that meeting then that's what you've got to do - no biggie on my part. Let me know if/when you'd like to meet again in the future. XXXXX would be nice one day. Take care and all the best to you both!"

And left it at that. Now, I know she's shy and she doesn't seem to have a great deal of self-esteem and is one of those people that let's things bother her etc (complete opposite to her sister, #1) but this is never really going to move forward if this keeps happening. It's been very even with regards to agreeing to meet up so I'd gauge there's some interest (laughing, increase in kino, increase in IOI's) there but I don't know where else to go with this.

Mentally, I'm trying to write this off but part of me thinks I'm been hasty, especially as how things are developing. Shame really, I was going to whisk her away tonight (isolate).

FFS. Anyone, any ideas?
Author:  Monsignor Crisanto [ Thu Nov 07, 2013 4:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I have no idea what's going on - anybody?
Quote:
"Hi XXXX, that's fine, hope you're well too. If you've got to go to that meeting then that's what you've got to do - no biggie on my part. Let me know if/when you'd like to meet again in the future. XXXXX would be nice one day. Take care and all the best to you both!"
That text message is unnaturally long.
Author:  omgakawtf [ Thu Nov 07, 2013 4:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I have no idea what's going on - anybody?
It's a facebook message, not sure if that makes a difference though....

Any opinions otherwise?
Author:  Monsignor Crisanto [ Thu Nov 07, 2013 4:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I have no idea what's going on - anybody?
It will be very difficult for you to get laid with the way you communicate in your post and your FB message.

What's going on?

You're communicating like a woman.
Author:  omgakawtf [ Thu Nov 07, 2013 4:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I have no idea what's going on - anybody?
If you read some of my other messages you'd probably not think that. We have idle, friendly small chat but that excerpt was my "goodbye" until she reconnects...
Author:  Monsignor Crisanto [ Thu Nov 07, 2013 4:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I have no idea what's going on - anybody?
http://gormendizer.co.za/wp-content/upl ... ations.pdf

CONVERSATIONAL DYNAMICS (Includes Nonverbals)

1. Courtship: Man to Woman, Woman to Man
2. Peer Groups: Male to Male, Female to Female

If you're in seduction/courtship mode, always keep a masculine frame in your communication verbals and non-verbals.

At work, a female boss will talk man talk with her subordinates. On the other hand, the female boss' male subordinates will talk feminine language around the woman boss.

Talk man to woman and you'll get more compliance from the women you are trying to seduce.
Author:  omgakawtf [ Thu Nov 07, 2013 4:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I have no idea what's going on - anybody?
Thanks Hellhound. To be fair though, without giving you every gruesome conversational detail, I'd be pretty much done that other than a little blabber earlier in the "seduction".

Ha, I'd hate to write this off but I'm thinking I should and see if she reconnects and if she does, go from there.
Author:  Monsignor Crisanto [ Thu Nov 07, 2013 5:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I have no idea what's going on - anybody?
Man talk (verbals) is more direct, assertive, and logical like:

1. Let's go.
2. Come here.
3. Look, it's a spider. It's dead. I stomped on it. No need to get hysterical.

Woman talk (verbals) is more convoluted, apologetic and emotional like:

1. OMG, did you just say that?
2. I'm sorry but I need to find the lift.
3. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Spider! Spider! Spider!

For the nonverbals, I suggest you find Poetic's epic body language thread.
Author:  omgakawtf [ Thu Nov 07, 2013 5:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I have no idea what's going on - anybody?
OK, my messages, having read through them were a little bit of both to be honest. Maybe I do need to shift the fluff talk as I know I can communicate the rest when I "meet" in person, even if I am a little bit shit at kino escalation. What a shame that I fucked it up.
Author:  Monsignor Crisanto [ Thu Nov 07, 2013 5:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I have no idea what's going on - anybody?
Masculine fluff talk sounds different. Read ShotgunTheHotOne's posts or Majikal's posts or Hunter-Foxe's posts. Those are masculine fluff talk. Way too different than feminine fluff talk.

Learn masculine language. It will get you laid.
Author:  omgakawtf [ Thu Nov 07, 2013 6:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I have no idea what's going on - anybody?
Fuck it, I just laid it on the line. This saturday, fireworks, she's got an invite. She's read the invite, let's see what happens.

To be fair to me though, I think this is the first conclusive interest I've properly shown her.
Author:  omgakawtf [ Thu Nov 07, 2013 8:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I have no idea what's going on - anybody?
Holy shit. She accepted my ultimatum offer... and suggested we meet not only Saturday, but in the week next week as well. I'm literally puking my spine up in a mix of excitement, bewilderment and relief.
Author:  afcAL [ Thu Nov 07, 2013 8:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I have no idea what's going on - anybody?
Quote:
I'm literally puking my spine up in a mix of excitement, bewilderment and relief.
Made me lol
Author:  omgakawtf [ Thu Nov 07, 2013 8:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I have no idea what's going on - anybody?
Quote:
Quote:
I'm literally puking my spine up in a mix of excitement, bewilderment and relief.
Made me lol
Glad I can raise a little chuckle, even at the expense of my own quivering, pathetic, beta-boy's body that has, for all intents and purposes, just stopped shaking in shock. :lol:

Right, down to business then, chaps!
Author:  omgakawtf [ Wed Nov 13, 2013 7:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I have no idea what's going on - anybody?
Well, she flaked the Saturday date - she was ill, allegedly. She asked to do something the monday following instead.

I initiated NC. 5 hours later, she texts again apologising and emphasizing how sorry she was. I told her that everyone gets ill, but the drinks were on her, jokingly. She agreed.

We met Monday, it went like a dream as far as I'm concerned. No conversational gaps, no filler, just all real good stuff. Laughing, kino from both sides and she kept her word about paying! She also mentioned Saturday's flake and was so sorry. She later hinted that she is very shy and doesn't want people to see her when she doesn't look her best/gets a spot/was drunk the night before.

She complimented me a lot on my confidence, how I'm the funniest, nicest guy she knows etc and how we should "do this" and "do that".

At the end of the night, there was the "goodbye". I went for a hug and a double cheek kiss, she, I think, went for a hug and a proper kiss. I didn't make it awkward, just shrugged off the "missed" kiss and wished her good night.

I text her the following morning to wish her well on her course and we continued to text throughout the day, with her investing a lot more in writing them than me (a complete turnaround). She then mentioned we should go out, as a group, to another city as her friend had just been there (it's somewhere I told her we should all go to in the past). I said that'd be great, but what I really want to do is spend some more time with her at the market in town, which starts this coming Thursday.

She didn't reply from 9pm onwards until the 8am the next day. She said she fell asleep and that she'd love to go. We're going to the market together, tomorrow, and I'm going to move it forward again. She's been investing a lot more text-wise in me again today, bless her. She's lovely, and I hope I can safely say that if I negotiate the next couple of meets with the correct attitude then it's game on.

Really looking forward to tomorrow and yes, Hellhound, I adjusted my text conversations from "woman" to "man"!
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