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I`m not intresting, my smalltalk is bad what should I do..?
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Author:  Kade88 [ Sun Feb 17, 2008 11:42 am ]
Post subject:  I`m not intresting, my smalltalk is bad what should I do..?
I am a quite good looking guy, but I have big problems with my smalltalk, don`t really know what to say to the girls, even if I know that they like/want me.
Thats why I started to read the pick up artist book from mystery and registered at this forum.
I already learned the openers and also tried them out, but after the opener and maybe 1 story and maybe 1 joke I don`t know what to say.

I already had some girls, but I never had to do anything for it all those girls always talked a lot....! I want to learn now how to choose a girl in a club and get her, I don`t like going out and waiting for a girl picking me up..!

Please help!
What should I do after an opener give me many advices :D

----

Sry if there are many mistakes I am not that good in English.
Author:  tweeby [ Sun Feb 17, 2008 3:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
"Practice make perfect"

When you are talking to those girls, stop and give your opinion. See how they react. Then throw them back a question.

Basically, talk with anyone, it doesn't matter if they blow you off. (If they do, shrug it off and think about what you might do differently next time.) Talk to the check-out girl when she's scanning your groceries. Talk to the bus driver, it doesn't matter.

You probably need to build on your INNER game as well to some degree.
Author:  ImTheBest [ Sun Feb 17, 2008 3:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
My small talk was terrible before I started university because I had never gone out and started conversations with people really. I was put into new situations where I practically had to start conversations with so now im pretty good at it. Just start conversations with people, ask them questions. People love to talk about themselves or make statements, they usually start conversations. Just keep trying to make conversation with people and practice will get you good.
Author:  keruli [ Sun Feb 17, 2008 4:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dont EVER think u are not interesting .That ppl think u arnt is just becouse u dont know how to express it to em. The solution to this is as tweeby said TALK TALK TALK , dont care about what just do. Talk to evryone , if u find it hard to initiate or put effort in conversations go talk to the nearest old person u can find , u will be dieing to say "something" in no time.

If u dont feel all that interesting maybe its a clue to start working on your life , read some Inner game post , or just take on a new hobby ... sometimes little changes make great differences.

hope to have been of some help
keruli
Author:  Kade88 [ Sun Feb 17, 2008 7:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Its especially with girls, with guys its diffrent, I make friends easy and fast!!
Author:  tweeby [ Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
> Its especially with girls, with guys its diffrent, I make friends easy and fast!!

OK, you need to get into the mindset of a girl.

Any AFC will tell you, "Why don't girls get the logical, no-shitting around conversations us guys have?" Wouldn't that be great? We would all get along with the opposite sex just fine.

Of course it ain't like that. An excerpt from the *The Rules of the Game* come to mind, to shed some light on this issue.

"Ever wondered... If guys like watching porn so much, why aren't girls turned on by the same thing? I mean they love reading those Mills and Boon romance novels. So what does it for them? Is it the the way the writer describes the rugged physique of the male hero as the couple are making love? No, girls like those novels because they are attracted by the story behind the love affair. It is the emotional roller coaster which the female readers find captivating. " (Poorly :) paraphrased by me)


Yes girls are emotional, if you can connect with them emotionally you're half way there. You don't have to change your conversations so you sound like a complete wuss, but be prepared to change something.

But yeah, talk to anyone and everyone. If you portray yourself as being socially important, girls will WANT to talk with you anyway.

I personally always like asking girls their opinions. They're so opinionated they can go on forever, LOL.
Author:  Kade88 [ Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hehe thank you very much!!

One more question, what are you normally saying after your opener, are you making a joke or telling a story??
What are you doing?

I have the biggest problems there, when I am talking to a girl I know really well its also not that difficult...
Author:  3 hands [ Sun Feb 17, 2008 10:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
I have 2 great advices for you, because I guess you are like me.

#1 Write down all jubjects you have to talk about.
For example
-Pets
-School
-Work
-Dance

Next see what sub-subjects you have for those
For example
-Pets
-My Cat
-the neighbours Cat
-weird looking Cats
-Cats and dogs
-Weird animals as pets
-School
-How great school is
-How much school sucks
-How it would be better
-Students
-Student hangouts

and so on

Next write down 1 subject for each of the above to ''hook into'' So after your story about that thing you have something to go on about.

for example

-Pets
-My Cat
-How long I've had my cat
-Story about when I was a kid

advice #2 is actually the next step to #1 but can be done sepparately.

Write a conversation and try to anticipate what she is going to say. Use the system from #1 to build it on. Include jokes, Comments, whatever. If you think you will interrupt the thing she is going to say write it until there break it off, like you would when actually talking to her.
(not gonna give and example because It's late and I wanna go to bed)


Anyway keep doing #1 and #2 on a regular basis as a thing to support your in field training. Only writing this down won't help you but I think it will when you combine it with in field experience.
Author:  PolarBear [ Mon Feb 18, 2008 4:31 am ]
Post subject: 
I don't know what you do for work, but when I first started, I had the same problem. I got a job as a bartender. It forces me to create small talk with everyone. My money depends on it. After a month of working behind the bar, I can see a dramatic difference.
Quote:
"Practice make perfect"
I agree with practice makes perfect. Don't stop talking. When ever there is a break in the conversation flow: fill it. It doesn't matter what comes out of your mouth as long as your talking. It will start to program your mind to come up with things to say, and after a while, you will be able to generate interesting things to say as you become more comfortable with small talk.
Author:  Kade88 [ Mon Feb 18, 2008 4:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
thx, I will do that

Where do I find good jokes to make in front of girls, like the girls in shower joke?

The search in this forum doesn`t really work properly!
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