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was advancing as a PUA now turning back into an AFC?
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=16984		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  chazman0426 [ Sun Feb 17, 2008 6:52 am ]
Post subject:  was advancing as a PUA now turning back into an AFC?
Hey guys I've been studying this PUA for 2 months now. I've read the game, but I'll probably re-read it. I've read lots of e-books and a lot of posts on this site. I watched mystery's videos and such. I think I got most of it down. I'm in college and a few weeks into doing it I've had numerous success in just opening and talking to girls because I use to be really shy and quiet. I've kissed closed one girl at a party a few weeks ago which is the highlight of my success. However what's really killing my confidence that I built right now is that things seem to be sliding. I haven't gotten any successful date yet or any girl to call me back. The girl I kiss closed and danced with for 30 minutes at a party said she'd be right back and then I couldn't find her again so i guess she left with her friends. Another girl I was talking to on the phone who I negged the hell out of and I could tell she liked it said she'd call me over the weekend since I told her it's her turn to call if she wants to talk, she never called. Another girl I just met last night at a dance told me to facebook her when she seemed to be giving IOI"s and I facebooked her when I got back and left a message to which she added me as a friend but never responded back. I'm trying to figure out why the girls don't seem to be intrested beyond. Am I suppose to be more aggressive? I've been laid back a lot because being persitant is AFC behavior and shows neediness which is what I thought. If I find myself messaging or calling more than the girl thats bad so thats why I don't ever do that anymore. However the girls don't ever seem to be continuing anything or maybe forgetting about me and losing intrest. I'm in college and maybe it's just college girls are different? I don't know but this is killing my confidence and i'm clueless, any tips would be great right now.



This is the message I left:

I usually forget names but I actually remembered yours, I don't know why I guess ***** was easy to remember. Anyway It was nice meeting you. You danced pretty well but you weren't the best I danced with tonight but you were good enough to remember. Next time I'll teach you some moves ;-) Anyway, I have something cool to show you sometime if you are interested but it's a one time offer since I have a lot of work this week. Let me know


Any tips on a better opening message next time? I thought this would be good since it seemed more interesting than a "hey whatsup I liked dancing with you, want to grab lunch?" type of message.
Author:  gravesRR7 [ Sun Feb 17, 2008 7:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: was advancing as a PUA now turning back into an AFC?
Quote:
Any tips on a better opening message next time? I thought this would be good since it seemed more interesting than a "hey whatsup I liked dancing with you, want to grab lunch?" type of message.
I think this message telegraphs too much thought going in to it. When reading it, it sounded like you were trying way too hard to sound like you were being cool about it all.

By saying that you normally dont remember names, but did remember hers (regarless of why) makes her 'special'.

to get a girl wanting to contact you later, i think you might be missing some minor points, which you can probobly improve easily. First, you need to leave her wanting more. The way most guys kill this seems to be by leaving too soon after a close. If you're getting numbers, facebook names, etc, and leaving right after, she's more likely to see it as you were 'hitting' on her. instead, try sticking around for a couple minutes after you close, this will build comfort.

second, and perhapy most important. MAKE PLANS TO SEE EACHOTHER ON THE SPOT. don't leave it at 'i'll call you and we'll hang out sometime'. make plans right there before you leave to meet. specify the time and place. Then you can call her or text her or whatever and just say that you had a good time with her, but by doing it this way, you don't have to build attraction over the phone, etc, you'll already have your Day 2, and won't have to accomplish this once her attraction has wained.

good luck man
Author:  chazman0426 [ Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:21 am ]
Post subject: 
Wow that really helps, yea I'll try that next time. As for now should I IM this girl if she doesn't respond to the message I posted or message her after a few days? I thought she was really cute, I don't want to forget about her and move on yet. I only sent her the message I posted so far. How would you guys approach this girl after I sent this message without seeming needy or desperate since thats how I think I would come off as if I respond twice without an initial response from her especially if I IM her (She provided her IM on facebook). I probalby actually DHV'd her in my message when I actually meant to lower her value by a neg, oh well. Any ideas or suggestions?
Author:  gravesRR7 [ Sun Feb 17, 2008 4:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
that's really a tough call. the best thing to do woudl be to try to bump in to her during the day, and be with another girl. you don't need to rub it in her face, but being with anothe girl will heighten your value.

if you can't see her in person, then messaging her again probobly will come off as DLV. However, what other options do you have right?

If you do message her again, be authoritiative (but do it in a cocky manner), tell her that you are going to be doing something, and that she's welcome to come along. do NOT 'invite' her to come out with you. that puts the attention totally on her, makes it a date, and will turn her off. instead, have the mindset of: I'm going out to have some fun anyway, and it would be great if this girl came.

go out with some other friends (girls included) and have her come along. This will make her more comfortable than the two of you being alone.
Author:  chazman0426 [ Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:05 am ]
Post subject: 
ok she did reply like 2 days later to the message, maybe she didn't want to answer right away or something


"yeha i have a lot of work this week too .. four test! eeck!"

thats all she said though, what would be a good reply to this?

"I have no tests! sucks for you, lol. Anyway I'll probably be going to dinner with a few girls on my hall on tuesday in West End but I'm not sure yet on the plans, your welcome to join."

is that ok? I'd like any advice, suggestions, or examples help me out guys. Don't want to blow this opportunity again. Thanks for all the advice so far!
Author:  gravesRR7 [ Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:30 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
ok she did reply like 2 days later to the message, maybe she didn't want to answer right away or something


"yeha i have a lot of work this week too .. four test! eeck!"

thats all she said though, what would be a good reply to this?

"I have no tests! sucks for you, lol. Anyway I'll probably be going to dinner with a few girls on my hall on tuesday in West End but I'm not sure yet on the plans, your welcome to join."

is that ok? I'd like any advice, suggestions, or examples help me out guys. Don't want to blow this opportunity again. Thanks for all the advice so far!
Well, that response she gave you could mean that she is insanely busy, but honestly, don't get your hopes too high right now. If she was really attracted to you, she wouldn' t have said that. Think about if you were really into a girl, would lousy tests get in your way? You make room for your priorities.

but it doesn't mean it has to stay like that, so don't kick yourslef. You just need to heighted attraction with her. The key is to not progress UNTIL you have done that. so a one-on-one date is out. and small talk is out (that should be saved for comfort, etc). focus on attraction now.

I would wait to respond to her for at least a half a day, if not a full day, and say something cocky funny like "good luck on your tests, I hope you test negative, but if you don't, don't beat yourself up, they give pills for most things. good luck, and don't share so much next time, i don't know you nearly well enough for those details yet :wink: "

and don't pursue it after that initially. see what her reaction is BEFORE you invite her out with you
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