PUA Forum :: Telling a girl you're not paying

I know that you should never pay for woman when you go out unless your taking her out to subtly reward her for something she's done good.

I've just been getting into the game in the past couple weeks, and one problem I've ran into is, twice it's happened, the girl will ask when we go out somewhere like a movie or to play pool "so are you going to pay for me?"

Interestingly enough, prior to learning pickup, I usually didn't have this problem. I just wouldn't bring the issue of who's paying up and I would pay my due, then she would pay for her ticket / entry, etc. But twice in the past couple weeks the girl has asked " so are you going to pick this up" or something along those lines. I know that you should never pay for woman when you go out unless your taking her out to subtly reward her for something she's done good.

So my question is, what is a smooth, suave way of telling a girl that you are not going to pick up her expenses?

Should it be direct like " I think we should both pay our own way /pay for ourselves" etc or more joking like " (surprised / teasing) "Am I going to pay for you? Do I look like an SPAM? haha..." ?

Quote:

I always pay. Making a big deal out of the cost of a date is pathetic and DLV, in my opinion. My view is that most PUA literature that suggests not paying is because when guys were coming up with this stuff they were broke as shit so they had to come up with some way to justify their behavior of trying to not pay/keep costs of dating down. NO WOMAN WILL THINK YOU ARE NEEDY/WEAK/BETA/ETC if you offer to pay.

Not paying and STILL getting the pussy is #winning imo!

Hey man,

My eyes lit up the moment I say the Title of this post because this is a common problem the guys I work with seem to run into from time to time. Honestly, there is nothing " Wrong" with paying. Sure I'm not going to pay for a girl that isn't showing me a good time, but if we go out and the vibe is right I don't mind paying a few bucks.

However, thats only with girls that don't bother bringing this issue up, and girls who would be willing to pay if I asked them to. Whenever a girl texts me asking if I'm going to pay for the date I just send them back this:

" No "

There reaction will tell me everything I need to know. That a turn off for me honestly, and I've learned over the years that you don't want to even spend time dating girls who assume a guy is suppose to pay no matter what. Is she going to come back to your place, cook, clean, and be a stay at home wife? If the not, i don't see the point of following ancient traditions.

Joey

Author:	musclepua [ Mon Jul 22, 2013 7:54 pm ]
Post subject:	Telling a girl you're not paying
I've just been getting into the game in the past couple weeks, and one problem I've ran into is, twice it's happened, the girl will ask when we go out somewhere like a movie or to play pool "so are you going to pay for me?" Interestingly enough, prior to learning pickup, I usually didn't have this problem. I just wouldn't bring the issue of who's paying up and I would pay my due, then she would pay for her ticket / entry, etc. But twice in the past couple weeks the girl has asked " so are you going to pick this up" or something along those lines. I know that you should never pay for woman when you go out unless your taking her out to subtly reward her for something she's done good. So my question is, what is a smooth, suave way of telling a girl that you are not going to pick up her expenses? Should it be direct like " I think we should both pay our own way /pay for ourselves" etc or more joking like " (surprised / teasing) "Am I going to pay for you? Do I look like an SPAM? haha..." ?

Author:	Arrow9 [ Tue Jul 23, 2013 6:58 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Telling a girl you're not paying
If its your first date and she asks you if your taking care of the costs. I would say, "If one of us has the whole tab, you can take of the first date and I'll get the second" (Its not what you say its how you say it) Im inclined to think that if you have built enough attraction and comfort during the date she would be fine with it. She'll be going on another with you. I apply this to drinks when a women in a set even try's to ask me. But then again I'm currently not aiming for one on one dates. Best of luck" Arrow

Author:	yello_fever [ Wed Jul 24, 2013 5:06 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Telling a girl you're not paying
It's really weird she would explicitly say that. Well, anyhoo, say with a smile, "you're nice, but I don't know you that well for me to do that." This works with drinks, and it is also a disqualifier that makes her chase me a little bit.

Author:	Pickwick [ Wed Jul 24, 2013 5:16 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Telling a girl you're not paying
Quote: I know that you should never pay for woman when you go out unless your taking her out to subtly reward her for something she's done good. Is that really a rule? No wonder chivalry is dead. I'll always pay. If a girl offers to split I'll pay. If a girl doesn't say anything I'll pay. Has it ever affected my seduction or chances of getting with the girl? No. I've never had a girl explicitly say anything besides offering to split it or pay the whole bill, but if you're not trying to pay for her, tell the server to split the bill before they bring it in. Problem solved. If the girl starts saying, "Aren't you going to pay for me?" (Which is pretty rude) You can slap her with any phrase you want depending on your persona. Bring in the fact that you didn't eat her food or that you're big on feminism. If she EXPECTS you to pay, you're not the type of guy that pays, and she is rude about the whole situation, she isn't worth it.

Author:	n2thevoid [ Wed Jul 24, 2013 8:20 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Telling a girl you're not paying
I always pay for a girl on a first date. If she asks explicitly before hand that's kinda odd, however.

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Author:	n2thevoid [ Wed Jul 24, 2013 8:21 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Telling a girl you're not paying
Quote: I've just been getting into the game in the past couple weeks, and one problem I've ran into is, twice it's happened, the girl will ask when we go out somewhere like a movie or to play pool "so are you going to pay for me?" Interestingly enough, prior to learning pickup, I usually didn't have this problem. I just wouldn't bring the issue of who's paying up and I would pay my due, then she would pay for her ticket / entry, etc. But twice in the past couple weeks the girl has asked " so are you going to pick this up" or something along those lines. I know that you should never pay for woman when you go out unless your taking her out to subtly reward her for something she's done good. So my question is, what is a smooth, suave way of telling a girl that you are not going to pick up her expenses? Should it be direct like " I think we should both pay our own way /pay for ourselves" etc or more joking like " (surprised / teasing) "Am I going to pay for you? Do I look like an SPAM? haha..." ? Methinks this guy never gets 2nd dates and continues to wonder why.

Author:	TheFury [ Wed Jul 24, 2013 12:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Telling a girl you're not paying
I always pay. Making a big deal out of the cost of a date is pathetic and DLV, in my opinion. My view is that most PUA literature that suggests not paying is because when guys were coming up with this stuff they were broke as shit so they had to come up with some way to justify their behavior of trying to not pay/keep costs of dating down. NO WOMAN WILL THINK YOU ARE NEEDY/WEAK/BETA/ETC if you offer to pay.

Author:	User13247 [ Wed Jul 24, 2013 2:23 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Telling a girl you're not paying
I dislike the attitude women who think that men should pay for them. Sure, if you will amount to nothing more than a housewife, you cannot be expected to have any money and so it is reasonable a guy would pay for you. But I for one would not want to date a woman whose sole ambition in life is to be a housewife.

Author:	TheFury [ Wed Jul 24, 2013 3:14 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Telling a girl you're not paying
Quote: Quote: I always pay. Making a big deal out of the cost of a date is pathetic and DLV, in my opinion. My view is that most PUA literature that suggests not paying is because when guys were coming up with this stuff they were broke as shit so they had to come up with some way to justify their behavior of trying to not pay/keep costs of dating down. NO WOMAN WILL THINK YOU ARE NEEDY/WEAK/BETA/ETC if you offer to pay. Not paying and STILL getting the pussy is #winning imo! Ha. That's only the case if the amount you are paying actually matters to you.

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Wed Jul 24, 2013 8:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Telling a girl you're not paying
Hey man, My eyes lit up the moment I say the Title of this post because this is a common problem the guys I work with seem to run into from time to time. Honestly, there is nothing " Wrong" with paying. Sure I'm not going to pay for a girl that isn't showing me a good time, but if we go out and the vibe is right I don't mind paying a few bucks. However, thats only with girls that don't bother bringing this issue up, and girls who would be willing to pay if I asked them to. Whenever a girl texts me asking if I'm going to pay for the date I just send them back this: " No " There reaction will tell me everything I need to know. That a turn off for me honestly, and I've learned over the years that you don't want to even spend time dating girls who assume a guy is suppose to pay no matter what. Is she going to come back to your place, cook, clean, and be a stay at home wife? If the not, i don't see the point of following ancient traditions. Joey

Author:	TheFury [ Thu Jul 25, 2013 3:33 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Telling a girl you're not paying
Quote: Hey man, My eyes lit up the moment I say the Title of this post because this is a common problem the guys I work with seem to run into from time to time. Honestly, there is nothing " Wrong" with paying. Sure I'm not going to pay for a girl that isn't showing me a good time, but if we go out and the vibe is right I don't mind paying a few bucks. However, thats only with girls that don't bother bringing this issue up, and girls who would be willing to pay if I asked them to. Whenever a girl texts me asking if I'm going to pay for the date I just send them back this: " No " There reaction will tell me everything I need to know. That a turn off for me honestly, and I've learned over the years that you don't want to even spend time dating girls who assume a guy is suppose to pay no matter what. Is she going to come back to your place, cook, clean, and be a stay at home wife? If the not, i don't see the point of following ancient traditions. Joey Does that really happen to you guys much? I have maybe had 1 in 10 dates not go for their wallet to offer to pay and maybe 1 out of 50 who asked me to pay for something, and on a second date maybe 1 out of 100 do not offer to pay, so the whole thing about they take you for granted/are using you etc. is extremely rare. Paying is not a big deal: if you make that amount of money a big deal, you are basically telling women you are cheap and/or poor way more often than you are showing any kind of alpha/i'm the prize qualities. Paying for a date and being needy/supplicating are two totally different things.

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