PUA Forum :: Did I do the right thing in this situation?

Been dating a HB9 for a year now and we are basically bf and gf. I work with her and was getting off shift when she was coming on.

After she approached me initially, I told her I'd go see her before I left. I went up to the counter and talked with her about plans the upcoming week. Midway through the conversation, one of our old coworkers comes up to us whom we hadn't talked to in a long time. He said hi to us both, and she is more friends with him than I am.

They made small talk while I stood there for 30 seconds, with her turned away from me completely as they talked about his new job/their mutual friends. I walk off for a sec, then decide to leave with plans unmade. She sees me walking off and goes "YOURE LEAVING???" and I go "yup farewell!" and leave.

I felt like she totally dropped our convo in lieu of talking to this guy, and it was disrespectful. I didn't storm off, but I left her hanging without plans.

It would have been bitch like to have stood there another minute or two to wait for them to finish then resume right? I was standing there like an idiot! She knew I had a party to go to anyway.

The weird part is she NEVER disrespects me in this way, we fuck all the time, she initiates phone calls/plans, she futures me, ect!

Author:	Lionheart9999 [ Sun Jun 16, 2013 7:23 pm ]
Post subject:	Did I do the right thing in this situation?
Been dating a HB9 for a year now and we are basically bf and gf. I work with her and was getting off shift when she was coming on. After she approached me initially, I told her I'd go see her before I left. I went up to the counter and talked with her about plans the upcoming week. Midway through the conversation, one of our old coworkers comes up to us whom we hadn't talked to in a long time. He said hi to us both, and she is more friends with him than I am. They made small talk while I stood there for 30 seconds, with her turned away from me completely as they talked about his new job/their mutual friends. I walk off for a sec, then decide to leave with plans unmade. She sees me walking off and goes "YOURE LEAVING???" and I go "yup farewell!" and leave. I felt like she totally dropped our convo in lieu of talking to this guy, and it was disrespectful. I didn't storm off, but I left her hanging without plans. It would have been bitch like to have stood there another minute or two to wait for them to finish then resume right? I was standing there like an idiot! She knew I had a party to go to anyway. The weird part is she NEVER disrespects me in this way, we fuck all the time, she initiates phone calls/plans, she futures me, ect!

Author:	Jay (Majik) [ Sun Jun 16, 2013 7:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Did I do the right thing in this situation?
Quote: Been dating a HB9 for a year now and we are basically bf and gf. I work with her and was getting off shift when she was coming on. After she approached me initially, I told her I'd go see her before I left. I went up to the counter and talked with her about plans the upcoming week. Midway through the conversation, one of our old coworkers comes up to us whom we hadn't talked to in a long time. He said hi to us both, and she is more friends with him than I am. They made small talk while I stood there for 30 seconds, with her turned away from me completely as they talked about his new job/their mutual friends. I walk off for a sec, then decide to leave with plans unmade. She sees me walking off and goes "YOURE LEAVING???" and I go "yup farewell!" and leave. I felt like she totally dropped our convo in lieu of talking to this guy, and it was disrespectful. I didn't storm off, but I left her hanging without plans. It would have been bitch like to have stood there another minute or two to wait for them to finish then resume right? I was standing there like an idiot! She knew I had a party to go to anyway. The weird part is she NEVER disrespects me in this way, we fuck all the time, she initiates phone calls/plans, she futures me, ect! I say you did the right thing... Regardless of if she is your girlfriend or not, you are still in a social situation. My rule is to never ever ever let myself get locked out of a set. Again, regardless of whether or not she was your girlfriend, this was a set. You could have either stood there like a bitch and listened to it or walked away and showed that you really didn't give a fuck. Some girls, even once in a relationship, need a little bit of emotional abuse like that. Well played.

Author:	Melodical [ Sun Jun 16, 2013 8:56 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Did I do the right thing in this situation?
Girls need boundaries and they also like to push against them to test the frame. If the boundaries start moving then they push even harder to assess your alpha status. Well played from me too.

Author:	Lionheart9999 [ Sun Jun 16, 2013 10:39 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Did I do the right thing in this situation?
now the question is, what do I do after I wait for her to initiate contact? do i tell her why I left aka she was being disrespectful, or do I say that I had to leave because I had somewhere to be?

Author:	Lionheart9999 [ Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:48 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Did I do the right thing in this situation?
this might be the most important piece of this situation! I need help fellas

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Author:	Jay (Majik) [ Mon Jun 17, 2013 7:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Did I do the right thing in this situation?
Quote: this might be the most important piece of this situation! I need help fellas Contact her whenever... Just don't make any type of problem of the situation. Don't act mad. Act as if everything is cool. Treat her the same way you want to be treated... if you are talking to another girl, she will flip out if you flipped out from her talking to another guy.

Author:	ItsAlwaysOn [ Mon Jun 17, 2013 8:56 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Did I do the right thing in this situation?
definitely dont tell her you left because she was being disrespectful. just tell her you got bored or had to leave or something. wait for her to contact you and then just act as if nothing happened.

Author:	Lionheart9999 [ Mon Jun 17, 2013 9:25 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Did I do the right thing in this situation?
Thanks guys you were a real help. I acted as if nothing happened. She pretty much texted me three times without a response back from me, then I made plans with her. Now she will gain respect for me? She tested the boundaries and saw where I stood?

Author:	DeepBluesy [ Mon Jun 17, 2013 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Did I do the right thing in this situation?
I have to say that your expectations should be known and met. When you talk to her again, let her know that your time is valuable and (not that you're jealous), but she was blowing you off. Don't drive her into the arms of another man, but let her know that you value your time. You did a fine job of standing up for yourself, now just make clear your expectations to her so that you don't end up dealing with jealousy in the long run. Jealousy=Envious Expectations that go unaddressed. Talk about it, but keep it friendly and mentally a healthy contact for both of you. If she starts to act foolish and emasculating toward you and accusing you of being jealous, then she is playing frame games with you and the stronger frame wins. Tell her to stop being a bitch. Turn anger into sadness and then turn sadness into compliance and then compliance into the meeting of your expectations.

Author:	wingintyme [ Mon Jun 17, 2013 10:14 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Did I do the right thing in this situation?
I think you should have included the old co-worker guy as a friend in the conversation and interact with both equally. maybe he's a guy who doesn't have many friends and wants more. If you are somewhat of his friend use the situation to become better friends. Guys who are most successful in this game have a lot of other guy friends or at minimum a lot of guys respect. What I would have done if I was in his position is use it as an opportunity to take a little bit of a shot at you after you left and start working on getting her out.

Author:	ItsAlwaysOn [ Wed Jun 19, 2013 3:33 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Did I do the right thing in this situation?
Quote: Thanks guys you were a real help. I acted as if nothing happened. She pretty much texted me three times without a response back from me, then I made plans with her. Now she will gain respect for me? She tested the boundaries and saw where I stood? you did totally fine. she already does respect you. she likes you, you guys have been together for a year and shes still chasing you. you did a good job sending a subtle message. that message is 'im not going to sit here and wait for you to finish your conversation'. she got it. girls pick up on that stuff. she probably gained a little more attraction for you. the whole 'you-need-to-stand-your-ground-and-tell-that-bitch-youre-not-going-to-put-up-with-any-of-her-shit' type attitude that a lot of people in the community have developed is out of control. this girl is (for all intents and purposes anyway) your gf. she didnt disrespect you. what she did was maybe slightly annoying. you had 2 choices. join in the conversation or take off. as long as you dont stand there quietly like a bitch waiting for her to finish her conversation you cant really mess it up too badly.

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