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Can't Build Comfort
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Author:  Qwex [ Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:33 am ]
Post subject:  Can't Build Comfort
Hello PUA world. This could probably go into the Sticking Points sections, but it is rather newbish, so I think it is better suited for here.

A little background would help you understand the situation better. I am 15 and in high school, so I am not looking for a girlfriend as of yet. I have always been a part of the "in" crowd, just probably on a lower tier, if that makes sense. In the past six or so months I have found this community and it has not only helped with girls, but with my inner-self too. So anyway, the situation at hand.

A big problem of mine is that I can't seem to build comfort with girls. I can get them attracted without much effort now, but they eventually lose interest. I have been falling into a bad case of "Let them do the comfort-building work" which is really bad. What should I do to help me with this?

I have been trying to practice more than I learn up on the stuff, which might be related to this bad situation I am in.

Any help would be appreciated.

EDIT: I know of the search button, but I couldn't find anything. I am still searching even after this is posted.
Author:  Roads [ Fri Feb 08, 2008 6:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Tell her a DHV story about your childhood that reveals some aspect of your personality. Then go and prod her about similar experiences. Try to establish an emotional connection between you two by sharing these experiences and drawing commonalities from them.

Kino, especially hand holding and hugging, are also key in building comfort. So when you tell your story, hold her hand briefly or stroke her arm to emphasize a point. Then when she tells you her story do the same thing, and reward her with a hug if it feels right.
Author:  netminder [ Fri Feb 08, 2008 9:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
What up Qwex,

I know what you are talking about. I remember being in high school and trying to build comfort. The attraction is the easy part but you have to build off of it.

Kino is a great way to help open up the comfort zone. I would say start off with something small like high fives or hugs, then escalate it.

Good luck
Author:  Qwex [ Fri Feb 08, 2008 10:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Cool. Thanks for the great help guys. I was thinking along those lines, but it always sounds better coming out of someone else's mouth.
Author:  Myth [ Mon Mar 03, 2008 4:07 am ]
Post subject: 
I have a question about hugs. I know that goes on long way for building comfort especially in high school. But how do be "one of those guys" who always gets hugged. Right now i dont hug any of the friends i have that are girls. Can i start now, is it to late. And if its not what i can i do to start it. Also when i first meet a girl how do i start the hugging (ot that sentence sounds weird but i didnt know how to word it)
Author:  Mikhail-magic [ Mon Mar 03, 2008 12:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well im new to the PUA world aswel but IMO your worrying to much. If you want to be a PUA you have to pretty much destroy who you were from the sound of things.

It's not to late either imo, cuz even though im no pro PUA hugging girls is easy :). All you need to do is just do it at a good time, like after she tells you a sad story just hug her and say, ahh you poor girl (in a playfull tone.) this wil probably make her give you a gentle slap, or a shy remark and you can work from there?

Or you can just walk up to a random girl you know, hug her for no good reason, and say something like. Wou you do feel fluffy your ex was right, or say: i jsut felt like doing that... a million examples.

Hope im giving you good advice but keep in mind im no PUA :P not yet anyway!

Kind Regards,


Mikhail
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