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Can't Get a First Date
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Author:  valleyplaya [ Sat May 25, 2013 7:19 am ]
Post subject:  Can't Get a First Date
Hey players.

Here's an issue I've been facing a lot for the past three months. I'm new to PU but have been having pretty decent results when it comes to approaching, getting # closes, and getting K-closes. But since I've been doing this, for the past three months, I haven't managed to score any F-closes NOR have I even managed to score any first dates! I've gotten more than 45 numbers and close to 20 makeouts (as I'm a highly attractive guy), but every time I text the girls after meeting them I either get a few responses, then silence or no reply from the start. The girls who do agree to go out on a date never actually follow through and usually stand me up or say they have to work or something.

What do you guys think? Any advice appreciated.

Happy playing, fellas.
Author:  Flex007 [ Sat May 25, 2013 9:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't Get a First Date
I would guess that you're not creating enough of a connection, not enough comfort building, this leads to them not feeling comfortable enough with you to meet up, this may also make them think that you're just after sex.

Do you spend much time with these girls before getting their numbers?
Author:  n2thevoid [ Sat May 25, 2013 9:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't Get a First Date
Not enough info.
Author:  valleyplaya [ Mon May 27, 2013 2:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't Get a First Date
It depends how much time I spend with the girls. I've spent the majority of the night with (about two or three hours) with some girls, making out, dancing, and talking. But I've gotten numbers/K-closes from a lot of other girls after about five minutes (or less) of talking to them on the street or in clubs. I think maybe my text game is weak right now. NOTE: I'm big on minimalist texting, using pretty much an opener, one or two "comfort" texts, and then asking to meet up for a drink sometime. Girls usually agree to meet up but always give some excuse when I suggest a time and place. Then I'll text a few days later and get no reply. I've never called any of the girls as I guess I'm kind of lazy.
Author:  Themagicalone [ Mon May 27, 2013 6:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't Get a First Date
Quote:
It depends how much time I spend with the girls. I've spent the majority of the night with (about two or three hours) with some girls, making out, dancing, and talking. But I've gotten numbers/K-closes from a lot of other girls after about five minutes (or less) of talking to them on the street or in clubs. I think maybe my text game is weak right now. NOTE: I'm big on minimalist texting, using pretty much an opener, one or two "comfort" texts, and then asking to meet up for a drink sometime. Girls usually agree to meet up but always give some excuse when I suggest a time and place. Then I'll text a few days later and get no reply. I've never called any of the girls as I guess I'm kind of lazy.
Your not escalating enough when you get them alone. If your spending 3 hours with a girl and now getting close to a fuck close(or something else sexual) something is wrong. Different yourself from your competition.
Author:  valleyplaya [ Mon May 27, 2013 7:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't Get a First Date
I think one of my problems is I bounce too quickly. Went out last night. Opened a few sets and pulled numbers off of four of them. But I had it in my mind that I needed to seek quantity, not quality so I didn't spend any time escalating. I have a hard time knowing when to bounce and when to remain in a set.
Author:  valleyplaya [ Sun Jun 02, 2013 7:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't Get a First Date
I just got stood up for the EIGHTH time this year tonight. I also got stood up last night by a different girl! I haven't had one girl follow through when we make plans. Does this seem a little off to anyone else? I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I have decent in-person game and text game. But no girls follow through when we make plans. Need advice, guys. Thanks.
Author:  Pickwick [ Sun Jun 02, 2013 9:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't Get a First Date
What do you text them? Where do you invite them out?
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Sun Jun 02, 2013 10:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't Get a First Date
Quote:
I would guess that you're not creating enough of a connection, not enough comfort building, this leads to them not feeling comfortable enough with you to meet up, this may also make them think that you're just after sex.

Do you spend much time with these girls before getting their numbers?
This^^^

There is not a connection between the two of you..
Author:  NoSteroidsHK [ Sun Jun 02, 2013 10:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't Get a First Date
Have you tried meeting girls outside of bars/clubs or street? What a lot people won't tell you is this whole sarging and approaching thing works but the % of it leading to any real relationship is low. Approaching and sarging random women is great practice for the real thing (i.e. - when you meet a girl at a friends party, a social club, events, etc.) If you are fully dependent on sarging and random approaching to meet women, then expect low % success. Again, not saying sarging and random approaches will not lead to sex or relationships, but the % is lower.
Author:  valleyplaya [ Mon Jun 03, 2013 6:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't Get a First Date
Quote:
What do you text them? Where do you invite them out?
I text as little as possible. Usually the day after or maybe two days after meeting them I'll text like, "What up, troublemaker?" or something situational from the time we met. Then I'll send one or two comfort texts, then send "Hey we should grab a drink sometime." This text has ALWAYS gotten me responses like "Yeah, for sure." Then I'll send, "Cool. When are you free this week?" She'll give a time or say something like "this week I'm pretty busy." If she gives a time, which works with my schedule, I'll send something like, "Cool. Let's meet at so-and-so time at so-and-so cafe/bar and then take it from there." She'll usually say something like "okay. sounds good." Then, the day of the aligned date, I'll text the girl to make sure we're on for that night and she won't respond. The eff is that about?

And this text scenario only happens with about 1/5 numbers I pull. The other 4 never respond to the first text I send.
Author:  valleyplaya [ Mon Jun 03, 2013 7:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't Get a First Date
Quote:
Quote:
I would guess that you're not creating enough of a connection, not enough comfort building, this leads to them not feeling comfortable enough with you to meet up, this may also make them think that you're just after sex.

Do you spend much time with these girls before getting their numbers?
This^^^

There is not a connection between the two of you..
Yeah, this is probably true. It's hard though, brah. I'd say I'm a highly good-looking dude. I always have chicks checking me out when I go out to the store or something. But so many girls on the weekend have bad attitudes/act like they don't want to be approached while they're hanging out in their groups. Many of the sets I approach are flat and are full of girls who are just blatantly disinterested. I'm still learning new openers/topics to talk about after openers, but I'm always confident when I approach and maintain strong eye contact and pretty much just say whatever pops into my head (because I don't really care). But still just wondering, man, it doesn't make sense that I'm striking out so badly. If all guys struck out this bad, nobody would ever get laid.
Author:  valleyplaya [ Mon Jun 03, 2013 7:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't Get a First Date
Quote:
Have you tried meeting girls outside of bars/clubs or street? What a lot people won't tell you is this whole sarging and approaching thing works but the % of it leading to any real relationship is low. Approaching and sarging random women is great practice for the real thing (i.e. - when you meet a girl at a friends party, a social club, events, etc.) If you are fully dependent on sarging and random approaching to meet women, then expect low % success. Again, not saying sarging and random approaches will not lead to sex or relationships, but the % is lower.
Yeah, I know. And I've read two PUA books, which both said that the majority of approaches go nowhere. I understand that that's all part of the game, but I just feel like, with as many numbers as I've pulled this year, at least ONE would have turned into something--at least a first date. I've pulled about 50 numbers this year and haven't gotten one to meet up. Lol! 0/50 = something wrong.

And, take this for example. A few months ago, I went out with a buddy who's four years older than me. We went to an underground techno bar where a bunch of alternative-type chicks frequent. I split up from my friend, approached one girl and got rejected. No biggie. About 20 minutes later, I see my friend talking to the same girl. Still, no biggie. After the club closed though, I meet up with my friend outside of the bar. He's hanging out with the girl who originally rejected me and her friend. We go back to the girls' pad, my friend scores the girl's friend, and I score with the girl who originally rejected me. I always think of that night when I get rejected now. I couldn't pull the chick whom I later ended up F-closing, but my friend COULD get us both invited back to her pad. That seems to me like my game is somehow off and my buddy's game is doing something right.
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Mon Jun 03, 2013 3:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't Get a First Date
Quote:
If all guys struck out this bad, nobody would ever get laid.
Dude... I can't even tell you how many times I've failed.

I've had more fuck ups than I've had successes.... with out a moment of doubt. But that is how I learned. By fucking up. By doing stupid shit. Going home and thinking to myself "what the hell am I doing wrong?!"

But that's the thing... by fucking up, you are able to create memories in your brain of what went wrong and also what went right. Just keep at it bro. Keep fucking up. Keep getting experiences and eventually the results will come.
Author:  TheFury [ Mon Jun 03, 2013 7:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't Get a First Date
You really must be doing something wrong if you are that good looking and still can't close. However, there isn't enough information. How old are you for starters. But, given the limited information to go by here are some tips:

(1) Try to not go for the K-close. Seriously, K-closing is pointless, who cares about the K-close. If you turn her down when she obviously wants it, she will only want you more and you can play that to your advantage.

(2) Stay in the set longer, don't just get the number quick and go to the next. Focus on the end of the night and trying to close that day etc. Ask girls if they want to "get out of here" as someone mentioned.

(3) Try returning to a previous target later in the night and see how that goes

(4) Club numbers are notoriously flaky, just the nature of the game, so I wouldn't be that surprised that only 20-30% respond. I don't see much wrong with how you are texting, most likely it is the earlier aspects of your game that are the issues.
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