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Bit of advice after first date
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Author:  devi4nt [ Thu Apr 25, 2013 12:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Bit of advice after first date
Hey guys

So basically I went on a first date on Monday with a girl I met online. She is definitely the type that dates multiple guys. And she's definitely receiving countless messages every day.

So down to the meet up. There wasn't any awkward silence on our date. There wasn't any silence at all actually, the conversation just flowed. It lasted about 3 and a half hours and I took her to 2 differenct bars. I Kino'd quite a bit and whilst I done most of it she did playfully hit me back once or twice. Also made sure my leg was touching hers throughout the night on occasions and she never once moved away or flinched. I walked her back to hers at the end and she invited me in. If she wasn't interested surely she would have just hugged me and said goodnight right??? Anyway, met her housemates who thought I was pretty cool (hopefully a good sign) and I stayed for about half hour before leaving on my own accord. She walked me to the door and we kissed on the lips goodnight. Not a full make out just a quick kiss but she showed no objection nor made any move to show me her cheek when I went in. Once again if she wasn;t interseted wouldn't she have just showed me her cheek or tensed up?

Anyway we texted on Tuesday and Wednesday then I said I'd call her over the weekend to talk plans (we'd loosely set up a date 2 during the first date). She takes ages to reply to my texts though. Would she bother replying to them with quite lengthy responses asking questions if she wasn't interested?

I guess the main point of this thread is to ask have I done the right thing by stopping texting her until the weekend pretty much allowing other guys to move in and her to maybe lose interest in me? I don't want to appear needy or fall in the friend zone so thought I'd stop texting. Thoughts?

Thanks for any advice 8)
Author:  AFCToTheMax [ Thu Apr 25, 2013 3:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Bit of advice after first date
Mate you've done well. The fact that she invited you in and showed you to her housemates is a big plus.

Kiss is also good sign. She is now comfortable with you in her place which means next date go for fuck close at hers.

In terms of texting I wouldn't text her anything until the weekend, and then come up with a plan, send her a text about date and time and that's it. Her meeting other guys is possible, but you should not care. You two are not even a couple or anything yet she does what she wants. Texting her more won't help you here.

Push for the meet up then fuck her next time. I'll look forward to the lay report :)
Author:  _Lothario_ [ Thu Apr 25, 2013 3:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Bit of advice after first date
Quote:
Hey guys

So basically I went on a first date on Monday with a girl I met online. She is definitely the type that dates multiple guys. And she's definitely receiving countless messages every day.

So down to the meet up. There wasn't any awkward silence on our date. There wasn't any silence at all actually, the conversation just flowed. It lasted about 3 and a half hours and I took her to 2 differenct bars. I Kino'd quite a bit and whilst I done most of it she did playfully hit me back once or twice. Also made sure my leg was touching hers throughout the night on occasions and she never once moved away or flinched. I walked her back to hers at the end and she invited me in. If she wasn't interested surely she would have just hugged me and said goodnight right??? Anyway, met her housemates who thought I was pretty cool (hopefully a good sign) and I stayed for about half hour before leaving on my own accord. She walked me to the door and we kissed on the lips goodnight. Not a full make out just a quick kiss but she showed no objection nor made any move to show me her cheek when I went in. Once again if she wasn;t interseted wouldn't she have just showed me her cheek or tensed up?

Anyway we texted on Tuesday and Wednesday then I said I'd call her over the weekend to talk plans (we'd loosely set up a date 2 during the first date). She takes ages to reply to my texts though. Would she bother replying to them with quite lengthy responses asking questions if she wasn't interested?

I guess the main point of this thread is to ask have I done the right thing by stopping texting her until the weekend pretty much allowing other guys to move in and her to maybe lose interest in me? I don't want to appear needy or fall in the friend zone so thought I'd stop texting. Thoughts?

Thanks for any advice 8)

You should be the type of guy that dates lots of women and doesn't care about other guys stepping in. If she's that type, just know that it's happening from the beginning. I just assume that all girls are dating other guys, because I am dating other women. I don't care. They don't care. I'm okay. They're okay.

Its great that she invited you in. Girls invite you in for sex though. If she's cool with you touching her...escalate the touching into a kiss. Escalate the kiss into sex. If she has multiple guys, she is fulfilling her needs through all of them. She is definitely sleeping with one of them. You might have stuck yourself as someone looking for something more serious.

You haven't blown yourself out. She's attracted to you. Don't have conversation via text though. It's better to get to know the girl in person. Why should she meet up with you if she can just get to know you through text? Why would she want your personal time if you will just give her everything via text at any given time.

You see how you are more attracted to her and want her more when she doesn't respond right away? She is doing something more important than texting you. She sets downtime for texting. Too much downtime is not attractive. Even if you are having your personal time to yourself doing nothing and not being bothered, cherish it. Don't let people interrupt your space whenever they can. That's what texting is really for: leaving a message and getting back to the person WHEN YOU CAN!!!! NOT RIGHTAWAYALLTHETIME!
Author:  Themagicalone [ Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Bit of advice after first date
Both of the guys who responded pretty much said it all OP. Game other girls too though.
Author:  devi4nt [ Fri Apr 26, 2013 12:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Bit of advice after first date
Cheers all. Great advice!

Made the mistake of only dating one girl before and investing all my time and efforts in to her and then coming on here to moan about how she isn't in to me :lol: Won't be doing that again. Got a date tonight with someone else and speaking to 2 other girls from previous dates so keeping my options open.

The whole texting vs phoning thing though.....Does it still play true for when your only both 22 years old? Just seems like an older thing to do. I'm happy to phone though. I've come to realise if she's interested she'll get back to you in whatver way whether it's phone or text. I guess phoning shows more confidence though :)

Cheers 8)
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Fri Apr 26, 2013 1:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Bit of advice after first date
Re: texting vs phone...

Interesting - I've recently been wondering that too... And I am absolutely not a veteran at this stuff and would certainly defer to the more experienced contributors here:

A lot of these PUA rules were 'written' or devised years ago (and are still great) - but has culture changed enough that texting is now more acceptable and can be used as a substitute for phone calls? Particularly among younger crowds who are glued to their phones anyway?

As an aside, I went on a few dates with a girl several years younger than me recently and I called her up or did in-person... at one point she asked why I didn't just text.
Author:  devi4nt [ Sun Apr 28, 2013 8:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Bit of advice after first date
Just wanted to say thanks for the advice all.

Gave her a call earlier. She didn't pick up and I hung up before leaving a message (stupid I know) but my luck was in as she called me back 30 mins later. I'll take that as a positive sign the fact that she called back rather than tried to force me in to texting her instead by texting me.

Managed to set up a date 2 so hopefully she doesn't flake.

Can definitely see the benifits of phoning hearing an actual voice on the other end unlike the emotionless text.
Author:  _Lothario_ [ Sun Apr 28, 2013 10:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Bit of advice after first date
Quote:
Cheers all. Great advice!

Made the mistake of only dating one girl before and investing all my time and efforts in to her and then coming on here to moan about how she isn't in to me :lol: Won't be doing that again. Got a date tonight with someone else and speaking to 2 other girls from previous dates so keeping my options open.

The whole texting vs phoning thing though.....Does it still play true for when your only both 22 years old? Just seems like an older thing to do. I'm happy to phone though. I've come to realise if she's interested she'll get back to you in whatver way whether it's phone or text. I guess phoning shows more confidence though :)

Cheers 8)

Women have more power than they did before facebook. This whole "different times" thing does not apply. The men that get down are not slave to technology because they value their time. They value their time with things that are more important, making it a scarcity.

If you are always available to text or call, then your text or call has less value than a man who only has a little bit of time for that. A phone call says, "I am only available now." A text says "I am available for you many times throughout the day," or "I am not comfortable having a verbal conversation with you during the time I have allotted for you."
Author:  twoontarmac [ Thu Jan 26, 2017 1:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Bit of advice after first date
Quote:
Quote:
Cheers all. Great advice!

Made the mistake of only dating one girl before and investing all my time and efforts in to her and then coming on here to moan about how she isn't in to me :lol: Won't be doing that again. Got a date tonight with someone else and speaking to 2 other girls from previous dates so keeping my options open.

The whole texting vs phoning thing though.....Does it still play true for when your only both 22 years old? Just seems like an older thing to do. I'm happy to phone though. I've come to realise if she's interested she'll get back to you in whatver way whether it's phone or text. I guess phoning shows more confidence though :)

Cheers 8)

Women have more power than they did before facebook. This whole "different times" thing does not apply. The men that get down are not slave to technology because they value their time. They value their time with things that are more important, making it a scarcity.

If you are always available to text or call, then your text or call has less value than a man who only has a little bit of time for that. A phone call says, "I am only available now." A text says "I am available for you many times throughout the day," or "I am not comfortable having a verbal conversation with you during the time I have allotted for you."
I know this is an old thread but this is great information. I'm in the same situation where I met a girl 3 years ago, and went on a few dates with before getting the lay. I then moved and she rekindled with me recently (3years) later via FB. Crazy huh! Anyway we went on a date last week and we slept together. She texted me the other day asking how my day went and all. We text back and fourth for a bit and then I late her go because it was late. I just said something like I better let you get some sleep. I'll see you Saturday. Saturday i'm taking her to one of my favorite hiking trails. I want to see what she's made of.

I was planning to give her a call later this evening to discuss logistics rather than texting. I like what you said about being available now vs texting which can give the impression that you're available all the time.

I say call when, that's what I plan to do. It's also an easier way to close the conversation rather than text since there is always an end result.
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