Im in the same position,
Can get most girls numbers without a problem in the club, but when it comes to the next stage iv set the bar to high to get anywhere near it and end up giving boring questions about what she does etc and they lose interest.
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| Author: | Molson [ Mon Jan 21, 2008 2:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | What to actually talk about |
Alright I know this is going to seem like I'm super shy/anti social/ don't have friends etc. Long Version: But I have a problem actually TALKING with girls. Not guys, not my friends. Like, simply, talking. Openers, confidence, body language bla bla, I can do that all fine. But once I've met a girl wherever and however, and we meet up again to chill or hang out or go get something to eat, I have NO IDEA what to talk about. I don't want to talk about school or work or the weather or your dad or my mom and that boring crap. And I also would think it's weird to just start a random story (then again I used to think it was really weird and unnaceptable to approach women you don't know, so I could be totally wrong). It seems like every girl I go out with absolutely knows this, and I know they know it. I just seem completely boring, where as the night or day we met I was being all cocky and funny etc. For some reason though when it's one on one time I just have no idea what to do. Short Version: What do you talk about when you are one on one (ie a date or hanging out) with a girl you may have only met once or twice. It also sucks because I am an amazing e-macker (been doing it since grade 7 on the days of ICQ) but I can't seem to match my wit in person. So any tips or pointers are appreciated. |
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| Author: | Fact [ Mon Jan 21, 2008 4:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I've found problems with this in the past and actually quite constantly while sarging some of the most HB barren bowels of the south where some ladies would actually cause me to drop sets due to them asking me what "psychological" means. Of course if you're dealing with an average woman of average intelligence and at least a bit of uniqueness to her personality it should be possible to simply vibe with her. It takes some practice to get into and occasionally you may have to blow a few sets just to get into the vibing mood. To get a good vibe started you have to quickly connect threads that are vaguely relevant to each other while building a connection with your target. In a beautiful and memorable conversation threads don't just stand next to each other, they flow into each other and the two people are constantly left holding their breath to verify that they feel the same way about what the other is saying. For instance, some of the best comedians aren't funny because of what they're saying but because of the society that they're saying it to. They get people laughing because they elaborate on subtle truths that the audience knows are true and this elaboration builds a connection between them and the comedian. So, if you find that you have nothing in common with a girl, find commonalities through very simple but rarely mentioned subtleties and build a connection through those. If you find yourself with a girl who's not too deep and you're only able to talk about that annoying buzz that the tv makes when it's muted or how in a weird way windex kind of smells good, she may still answer your call the next day thinking that you had a lot in common when the truth is that we all have SOMETHING in common and part of being a pua is finding out what those things are. Hope that helps. Good luck in the field! |
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| Author: | maxell [ Thu Jan 24, 2008 10:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Im in the same position, Can get most girls numbers without a problem in the club, but when it comes to the next stage iv set the bar to high to get anywhere near it and end up giving boring questions about what she does etc and they lose interest.
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| Author: | minijag [ Fri Jan 25, 2008 7:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I think everyguy has this problem when trying to become a mPUA. As you get better and better at it, you find out repeatable topics to talk about, maybe something you heard earlier that day from a different set, or something that most girls seem to find interesting. (So far from my experience) It's true, try not to talk about school or work, or family. UNLESS you can build some sort of emotional connection from it. Because in essence that is what you are trying to do. For example for the most part most college students don't really have an idea what they want to do. But it's going to come up in casual fluff, I'm a pre-med major and have all these plans to go to a particular college and whatnot. Once this girl I tried dating found out about this (failed  , mother lost a foot, she dropped out, just thought I put that there) she opened up, she wanted to study dentistry at the same college, and our paths seemed to roughly on the same page. Before that she didn't have a bitch shield, it was more like a study-shield. But anyways, there was an emotional bond. (Also just an FYI, even though I have all these plans and stuff, normally I hate talking about school, while I'm away from school, I want to be thinking about something else, my paragraph about work will explain it)If you start talking about family, the goal would be to create an emotional bond. This is done through broad general truths. Oh you're a middle child too, don't you hate that bratty younger brother? (I'm not a youngest so I'm not sure about this) Oh you're youngest also? Isn't it nice to get everything we want? (Both these lines aren't field tested but I'm sure they will work fine just FYI) And for work, just stay away from this. Especially if you are younger than 25, most people below 25 are not doing job's they are passionate about. And in fact, most people above 25 are not doing job's they are passionate about. They work all day, every day, at the same job. It's absolutely boring, its NLP. If you start talking about work at all, it's going to bring those feelings of work up and most likely turn them off (This is how I feel) So it's all about creating emotional bonds. Eventually you just get better and better at it. It's a skill set, don't think of it anyway else, it'll just take time. Someone posted on here, do not use any fluff, because it wastes time (I think it was Tripp). So I know I probably didn't help you much on what to talk to women about but hopefully this will help Anything situational, (New Years just happened, talk about that, new years resolutions or what not, new years party, new years story) (Valentines day is coming up, I don't know of much to say here except ask what their work valentines day was or something like that.) (Crazy redneck in the truck that you almost ran into) And if you know all this stuff and this post is worthless, sorry. I'm just trying to help, I'm not sure if I could help you but I tried. I still have this problem actually so I would love to hear some feedback. once I get on one of my instant dates I get incredibly nervous and I feel there is tons of pressure to entertain/build attraction or comfort or whatever stage I'm in. I can handle myself for about 30 minutes or so (Not sure, I'm not looking at my watch or anything) then I run out of material. |
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