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| Can I Say It? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=151445 |
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| Author: | sugasuga [ Mon Nov 26, 2012 8:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Can I Say It? |
Is there anything wrong with verbally telling her you like her once she is attracted and comfortable around you? |
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| Author: | Mr. Assertive [ Mon Nov 26, 2012 8:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can I Say It? |
you can...but honestly your behavior and the way you treat her should be enough. Verbal shit is what it is. But then again, I am a jerk. I just compliment the girl on aspects of her personality, physical traits, and sometimes her hobbies. Either way she will get my drift. |
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| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Mon Nov 26, 2012 9:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can I Say It? |
If a girl tells you that she likes you, you can say that too. Don’t show that you want her more than she wants you. |
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| Author: | sugasuga [ Mon Nov 26, 2012 9:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can I Say It? |
Dont show more interest than the girl? Isnt that counter productive since men r supposed to lead and take action and responsibility? |
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| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Mon Nov 26, 2012 9:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can I Say It? |
You HAVE to let her know you are attracted to her. Express your sexual intent and attraction all you want. That is perfectly fine. But, don’t let her know you want more than that. |
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| Author: | Fly_Swatter [ Mon Nov 26, 2012 11:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can I Say It? |
Here is the rule of thumb: Men: lead on intimacy and sex. Women: lead on emotions and relationships. Therefore, do NOT tell her you like her. Let her get to that. |
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| Author: | smashthecrash [ Tue Nov 27, 2012 12:54 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can I Say It? |
Fly Swatter is spot on. Wish I'd followed that advice a long time ago... also push/pull, if she pulls away, you pull away harder. I made the mistake of pushing... and got dumped. Current mindset: I'm never saying "I Love You" first, ever ever ever again. No matter how much the girl says "I really like you, A LOT, how do you feel about me?". |
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| Author: | User13247 [ Tue Nov 27, 2012 2:10 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can I Say It? |
I tell girls I like them all the time. When drunk, I'll say love instead of like (I get too fucking sociable when drunk). She'll respond that I can't possibly mean that, I respond that I do and say that I want to marry her. She says I'm drunk. I agree, and we make out some more. Point is, they're just some words, their meaning is derived from context and intention, not from dictionaries or the meaning women seem to attach to them in the movies. (I wonder how many women have said 'I love you' to their husband over the phone with another guys dick inside them?) So if you're serious about liking a girl, don't just tell her you like her, also tell her what you like about her and why. That has much more impact because it shows you mean it. But, as always, neediness is not good and also unappreciated, so question your own intentions and expectations before you profess your liking or love. Quote: Men: lead on intimacy and sex.
A stupid gender stereotype. It reinforces the idea that sex is a favor that women provide to men, and that men cannot freely share emotions. And it's even self-contradictory, what the fuck is a relationship without intimacy, sex and emotions!
Women: lead on emotions and relationships. |
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| Author: | Fly_Swatter [ Tue Nov 27, 2012 2:33 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can I Say It? |
You on crack? Your example is unrelated to my rule of thumb, because the girls know you're not being sincere and just humouring them. Which is fine if you just want to make out with them and fuck them. But the moment you're sincere when you say you love a girl before she does, as smashthecrash pointed out, there is a good chance she'll run. Girls are always after love and romance... And the moment they get that from you too soon, they'll just consider you "easy", lose interest in you, and run (I call these girls "runners"). Same thing with guys fucking girls... I lose a ton of respect and interest in girls that are easy, just as most guys do... And I wouldn't want to be with them, even if they'd make good girlfriends. |
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| Author: | User13247 [ Tue Nov 27, 2012 3:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can I Say It? |
Quote: You on crack? Your example is unrelated to my rule of thumb, because the girls know you're not being sincere and just humouring them. Which is fine if you just want to make out with them and fuck them.
My example was indeed unrelated, only the part below the quote was a reaction to it. And yeah, I am saying your rule of thumb is a stupid gender stereotype (which, by the way, you seem to agree upon implicitly when you say guys and girls react the same way to desperation), but I do not remember counseling anyone to be easy. In fact, I remember saying that neediness is not good, it betrays a lack of self-esteem, and that it is also unappreciated by the other sex. But to answer your original question: no, I'm not on crack. I just dislike your rule of thumb for reasons explained earlier, although I am sure your intentions were good.But the moment you're sincere when you say you love a girl before she does, as smashthecrash pointed out, there is a good chance she'll run. Girls are always after love and romance... And the moment they get that from you too soon, they'll just consider you "easy", lose interest in you, and run (I call these girls "runners"). Same thing with guys fucking girls... I lose a ton of respect and interest in girls that are easy, just as most guys do... And I wouldn't want to be with them, even if they'd make good girlfriends. Edit: Also, if being the first one to profess love or liking equals neediness, as you seem to argue, than waiting for the girl to say it first means that she is needy. Which means that the guy will be put off because she is so easy and he will break up with her. No one would be able to express their true feelings if we take your logic to the extreme. Saying that you like or love someone is simply not the same thing as being needy. Other than that, I think you and I do not think about this subject very differently. |
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| Author: | Fly_Swatter [ Tue Nov 27, 2012 3:04 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can I Say It? |
Yes, it IS a gender stereotype, and you can call it stupid if you wish. But it's served me well, and they're rules I drummed up from my own personal experiences. But as with any rule of thumb, each has its own exceptions. |
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| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Tue Nov 27, 2012 1:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can I Say It? |
Sometimes stereotypes are in place because they are more inline with fact, It's well known that expressing your emotional desire early on will quickly get you blown out! If you think about it for a second, how can a man be completely in love with a woman that he’s just met? And even if you dated her a few times, you hardly even know her. That’s exactly what women think about needy men. “He doesn't even know me… Why does he call me so much? He must be some loser”. Calling a girl again and again, leaving her messages, sending flowers, telling her that they can’t sleep without seeing her. This is completely insane! But many men still do this. Showing neediness only makes women like you less. So if a girl starts losing interest in you, behaving needy is not the solution. |
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| Author: | puaninja [ Tue Nov 27, 2012 1:20 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can I Say It? |
You should never volunteer that you like her. If she asks "Do you like me?" Then you can reply to that. Also, there should be some context to saying that you like her. Perhaps you watch a sunset together and you're like "Did I ever tell you how much I enjoy your company?" Or after a great date "Wow, you are awesome. I really like you." But if you are just sitting together in the car driving to IHOP and you're all "I like you a lot did you know that?" It comes across as really needy. |
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