I mentioned in other posts that my oneitus is a coworker and she definitely was attracted to me, but I never asked her out and escalated. She told my other coworker that she was seeing someone and I heard from him today. I really want to ask her about it in a non jealous way like...I heard you're hooking up with XX is it that XX that comes in once in awhile (with a smile and everything). The reason I want to ask her is judging by her response, I can definitely move on if she says yeah we have been seeing each other for a bit now...Also, by me asking her, she can realize that I've actually been interested in her. I know you guys always advocate seeing other girls and forgetting about her, but I truly want to be certain before moving on with this girl...I like her a lot...period. I'm posting this because I feel sick to my stomach hearing this news and I may not be thinking straight and I trust the opinions of the experienced members...If I just see other girls now, it will suck that she will never know how I really feel about her. What should I do????

dear god help us all

Yes, there was a lot of IOIs and I'm better in every way than this guy except I didn't make a move when I had the chance and I didn't show interest. The only reason I wanted to bring it up with her is because I honestly don't think she knows I like her. I think she thinks that I wasn't interested and that's why she's seeing this guy right now.

Anyway, I have had some time to think about this and I tried to be as logical as possible. My end goal is to be with her and here's the way I see it...

1) If I bring it up, she will then know that I know that she is seeing someone which means she would be less inclined to allow me to escalate on her (even if she wanted me to) because of her ASD.

2) I pretend I never heard this and escalate on her harder than ever anyway and see what happens. I'm just going to focus on being fun around her, constantly flirt, and indirectly show her I'm better than this guy.

What do you think about this logic? If you feel there is a better option, I'm all ears. Thanks for the help guys

I asked her, but not directly...his name came up in a random conversation and I was like oh that guy you're dating right now...Her answer was "we are not dating! we are just... 'talking' (not sure what that means)." "we smoked together and went out to eat a few times." At this point I thought my gut feeling was right...she wasn't really that into him and she is using him for attention because she's lonely (super hot but now single for awhile) and because I didn't go for it when I had the damn chance. But IDK, she is CONSTANTLY texting him during work and she responds right away as if she is waiting by the phone for his responses. She is definitely less friendly with me and pretty much doesn't give me IOIs anymore, but she might be doing this because I pulled away when she pushed. If you were me...how would you read this situation and would you still go for her?