PUA Forum :: Is an IOI the same if she is behind a counter as..........

If an HB is behind a counter (convience store) how do you know if she is just really really nice....... or if it is a true IOI....... in general..... just looking for some litmus test for future contact with a particular HB....... (by the way she knows I was married so the 3 second rule doesn't apply ....... does it?)

Quote:

Look into her eyes a bit longer than you would normally do. With a slight smile.

If she looks down, that's a good sign.

They do that even if they aren't flirting, it's a pretty normal response for people that find it uncomfortable to look someone in the eyes. Even smiling is pretty common in people that smile at their own insecurities.

Quote:

Rye, when a chick looks down when you gaze at her, it's a sign of submission.

But then, it's possible she may have an itch too.

Quite right. It could also mean that you're intimidating her, you're scaring her, you're pissing her off and she just doesn't want to look at you, you're creeping the shit out of her and she doesn't want to look at you, she thinks you're stupid and is trying not to laugh at you (goes well with the smiling and looking down, because she's trying not to laugh out loud), isn't interested in what you're saying and is being dismissive by paying more attention to other things and a whole slew of other things, but I think I've made my point, or should I say, "+1"

Quote:

Look into her eyes a bit longer than you would normally do. With a slight smile.

If she looks down, that's a good sign. If she looks down and smiles slightly that's a better sign.

Quote:

Don't forget about that little thing called 'confidence'.

If you assume the worst reactions from chicks, then you're only psyching yourself out.

This is frame control in a nutshell.

MORE INFO...... We chatted and I would swear that she was flirting with me... there was a line and she kept conversation going 2 times....... but I had the wife waiting.... and I was a nice guy and was embarrassed by the people behind me watching......

If I see her again behind her counter...... how do I test this? How do I keep from coming off as a stalker or a creep????? I would rather keep things flirty and fun at the store than I would ruin it by makeing her unconfertable....... (small town convience store.... I buy my gas there)

Just remember, when you do nothing, you get nothing as a result. And, this is true 100 percent of the time.

thanks guys........ just a reminder I am here because my marriage is over... not the other way around.... I settled down with the chick I got pregnant and 8 years later it is over..... well I am gonna go and see if I sink or swim..... better to fail and learn then to waste a night playing wii

Author:	rodeo [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:04 am ]
Post subject:	Is an IOI the same if she is behind a counter as..........
If an HB is behind a counter (convience store) how do you know if she is just really really nice....... or if it is a true IOI....... in general..... just looking for some litmus test for future contact with a particular HB....... (by the way she knows I was married so the 3 second rule doesn't apply ....... does it?)

Author:	Rye Lee [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:11 am ]
Post subject:
That's stuff you learn with experience and advancement. I don't think there is anything that you would be able to understand as being the difference between being real and putting up a front, unless you learned first hand.

Author:	Starbuck [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:27 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Is an IOI the same if she is behind a counter as........
Quote: If an HB is behind a counter (convience store) how do you know if she is just really really nice....... or if it is a true IOI....... in general..... just looking for some litmus test for future contact with a particular HB....... (by the way she knows I was married so the 3 second rule doesn't apply ....... does it?) Look into her eyes a bit longer than you would normally do. With a slight smile. If she looks down, that's a good sign. If she looks down and smiles slightly that's a better sign. Definitely worth taking it a step further next time you come in. You can do this by opening her, and getting her to talk. One of the problems with convenience stores is other customers, and you generally don't have much time to work on a target. So it becomes more of a numbers game. In this situation, I'd say escalate with a time bridge or n-close at your first opportunity. You can also try giving her your contact information (just remember most chicks wont normally call you), then seeing if she responds likewise. But even if she doesn't it could give you a little social proof in the future. And isn't necessarily too forward.

Author:	Rye Lee [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:30 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Is an IOI the same if she is behind a counter as........
Quote: Quote: If an HB is behind a counter (convience store) how do you know if she is just really really nice....... or if it is a true IOI....... in general..... just looking for some litmus test for future contact with a particular HB....... (by the way she knows I was married so the 3 second rule doesn't apply ....... does it?) Look into her eyes a bit longer than you would normally do. With a slight smile. If she looks down, that's a good sign. They do that even if they aren't flirting, it's a pretty normal response for people that find it uncomfortable to look someone in the eyes. Even smiling is pretty common in people that smile at their own insecurities.

Author:	Starbuck [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:38 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Is an IOI the same if she is behind a counter as........
Quote: They do that even if they aren't flirting, it's a pretty normal response for people that find it uncomfortable to look someone in the eyes. Even smiling is pretty common in people that smile at their own insecurities. Rye, when a chick looks down when you gaze at her, it's a sign of submission. But then, it's possible she may have an itch too.

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Author:	Rye Lee [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:44 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Is an IOI the same if she is behind a counter as........
Quote: Quote: They do that even if they aren't flirting, it's a pretty normal response for people that find it uncomfortable to look someone in the eyes. Even smiling is pretty common in people that smile at their own insecurities. Rye, when a chick looks down when you gaze at her, it's a sign of submission. But then, it's possible she may have an itch too. Quite right. It could also mean that you're intimidating her, you're scaring her, you're pissing her off and she just doesn't want to look at you, you're creeping the shit out of her and she doesn't want to look at you, she thinks you're stupid and is trying not to laugh at you (goes well with the smiling and looking down, because she's trying not to laugh out loud), isn't interested in what you're saying and is being dismissive by paying more attention to other things and a whole slew of other things, but I think I've made my point, or should I say, "+1"

Author:	Starbuck [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:49 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Is an IOI the same if she is behind a counter as........
Quote: Quite right. It could also mean that you're intimidating her, you're scaring her, you're pissing her off and she just doesn't want to look at you, you're creeping the shit out of her and she doesn't want to look at you, she thinks you're stupid and is trying not to laugh at you (goes well with the smiling and looking down, because she's trying not to laugh out loud), isn't interested in what you're saying and is being dismissive by paying more attention to other things and a whole slew of other things, but I think I've made my point, or should I say, "+1" Don't forget about that little thing called 'confidence'. If you assume the worst reactions from chicks, then you're only psyching yourself out. This is frame control in a nutshell.

Author:	.EnVy. [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:50 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Is an IOI the same if she is behind a counter as........
Quote: Quote: If an HB is behind a counter (convience store) how do you know if she is just really really nice....... or if it is a true IOI....... in general..... just looking for some litmus test for future contact with a particular HB....... (by the way she knows I was married so the 3 second rule doesn't apply ....... does it?) Look into her eyes a bit longer than you would normally do. With a slight smile. If she looks down, that's a good sign. If she looks down and smiles slightly that's a better sign. Sorry, pal. I'm going to have to disagree here. If the woman keeps eye contact with you, THAT'S the good sign. But, if she just looks away right away, that's not an IOI. However, I do agree about smiling and looking down. If you maintain eye contact for 3 or more seconds (IOI) and smiles back as she looks down (another IOI). ALWAYS REMEMBER: Hired guns are PAID to be nice to you. Don't trust IOIs from them until you are SURE that she is interested in you. You can calibrate if she is interested by making her qualify herself to you (I.E. "Beauty is common, what makes you so special from all the other pretty girls I've dated?") If she qualifies herself (only done after you're pretty sure that she has given you IOIs) then that's a STRONG IOI meaning that she is interested in you. Again, this is ALL calibration and understanding "The Game." Good luck, bro!

Author:	Rye Lee [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:56 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Is an IOI the same if she is behind a counter as........
Quote: Quote: Quite right. It could also mean that you're intimidating her, you're scaring her, you're pissing her off and she just doesn't want to look at you, you're creeping the shit out of her and she doesn't want to look at you, she thinks you're stupid and is trying not to laugh at you (goes well with the smiling and looking down, because she's trying not to laugh out loud), isn't interested in what you're saying and is being dismissive by paying more attention to other things and a whole slew of other things, but I think I've made my point, or should I say, "+1" Don't forget about that little thing called 'confidence'. If you assume the worst reactions from chicks, then you're only psyching yourself out. This is frame control in a nutshell. Yes! Lets always assume the best reactions, that will surely give great confidence and results! Or, it could just make you think stuff that isn't true. You told him that if they look down it is a good sign. That is a POSSIBLE good sign. POSSIBLE being the key word. He wanted something definitive, but that is pretty hard to give, because it really depends on the situation. If you crack a joke and she smiles and looks down, then that is good, but if you are in the middle of explaining what it is you are looking for in her store and she just looks down mid sentence and doesn't look back up shortly after, then it is a BAD sign.

Author:	Starbuck [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:57 am ]
Post subject:
You're free to disagree. Just remember, when you do nothing, you get nothing as a result. And, this is true 100 percent of the time.

Author:	rodeo [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:03 am ]
Post subject:	Good answers guys........
MORE INFO...... We chatted and I would swear that she was flirting with me... there was a line and she kept conversation going 2 times....... but I had the wife waiting.... and I was a nice guy and was embarrassed by the people behind me watching...... If I see her again behind her counter...... how do I test this? How do I keep from coming off as a stalker or a creep????? I would rather keep things flirty and fun at the store than I would ruin it by makeing her unconfertable....... (small town convience store.... I buy my gas there)

Author:	Starbuck [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:07 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Good answers guys........
Quote: MORE INFO...... We chatted and I would swear that she was flirting with me... there was a line and she kept conversation going 2 times....... but I had the wife waiting.... and I was a nice guy and was embarrassed by the people behind me watching...... If I see her again behind her counter...... how do I test this? How do I keep from coming off as a stalker or a creep????? I would rather keep things flirty and fun at the store than I would ruin it by makeing her unconfertable....... (small town convience store.... I buy my gas there) Rodeo, what do you want from this woman? If you want something more than a casual acquaintance in the store.. Ask her if she'd like to meet you for coffee sometime, to continue the conversation. If you're interested in pursuing it further. You can use a time bridge or attempt to n-close. You'll have to work around the wife thing. But that apparently isn't too much of a concern to you. Just remember, word can travel fast in small towns. And the apparent will to cheat, is often as damaging as the act itself to a woman.

Author:	Rye Lee [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:09 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Just remember, when you do nothing, you get nothing as a result. And, this is true 100 percent of the time. No, you're wrong, because sometimes doing nothing is the right thing to do, it's called a take-away by PUAs such as myself. If you're trying to imply that by not taking her looking down as a "good sign", that I am doing nothing though, then you are heading down the same path as in Tripp's thread about personal space. Just because I don't think that looking down is a universal IOI (sure sometimes it is, but that's like telling someone that water is solid just because sometimes it freezes), doesn't mean I'm not perceiving all the ones she's throwing out that I notice due to experience (as I stated was needed in these circumstances) and responding to them. You should really stop filling in the blanks, you're proving to be a poor psychologist.

Author:	rodeo [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:17 am ]
Post subject:
thanks guys........ just a reminder I am here because my marriage is over... not the other way around.... I settled down with the chick I got pregnant and 8 years later it is over..... well I am gonna go and see if I sink or swim..... better to fail and learn then to waste a night playing wii

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Author:	Starbuck [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:19 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: thanks guys........ just a reminder I am here because my marriage is over... not the other way around.... I settled down with the chick I got pregnant and 8 years later it is over..... well I am gonna go and see if I sink or swim..... better to fail and learn then to waste a night playing wii Good luck bro. And let us know how things work out for you.