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| College Bar/Game and closing https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=127543 |
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| Author: | smashthecrash [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 1:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | College Bar/Game and closing |
Basically, do you always HAVE to number close at a college bar? The example I will use is last night. I was chatting up two girls with my wing for over an hour, but when the end of the night came I choked on my nclose "routine": "What are you doing this weekend? (her: I don't know/nothing) Well, sometimes I throw a party at my apartment on weekends, you should give me your number blah blah blah" but this time they had something to do, so all I could think of was "Well if you really come here all the time, then you'll probably be here for karaoke (tomorrow) night too right?" "Yeah, of course!" "Well maybe I'll see ya then". So obviously I'll know if it's successful on wednesday, but there's other factors at play here otherwise I would have pushed it. The bar is MY bar. I live above it. The bartender is a long time friend and my landlord. It's a small college town. 5000 ish, and it's the only "real" bar here. As implied (and confirmed by bartender) they are exchange students that have become recent regulars - just trust me on this. So chance of running into them again is very high regardless. I felt pushing for the number would of come off as a bit needy, but now I'm thinking I should have been more direct anyway. Other questions I would love to have answered: Pickup in my classes, and inner circle. Primarily escalation. With randoms and outer circle, I just "go for it" because rejection just means I won't see them again, or it won't disrupt my regular life much. But when it's these women I see regularly... how should I adjust? I approach these with the attitude of building rapport, and then deciding to escalate or just befriend them as social proof to get their friends. Especially with what I read in the College Game thread. I have an ex "I'm still trying to be friends with" and I know conversation on that topic should be extremely minimal, but anything special in that case? She lives an hour away, but we have mutual friends so I have invited her to parties/social events. I should probably stop sleeping with her as well, but that's a whole other topic... |
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| Author: | DJ_Z [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 2:03 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Here's an easy tip: don't go for the number at the end of the night. Hell, ask her after five or ten minutes, and if she says no keep talking to her. It'll show a lot of character, which hopefully is an accurate portrayal of who you are, when you demonstrate that you weren't just pretending to enjoy talking to her before asking for the number. The best thing to do, and you can mold it in a way that works for you, is to mention a favorite bar, club, restaurant, activity, etc, in conversation, then say that it could be fun to go there together. It's a bit of nitpicking in language, but myself and some other guys also think it's better not to ASK for her number. For instance, using that example, it would be better to say "oh yeah, I've been thinking of going to that club tomorrow night, if you give me your number we can go together" Main reason it helps is that you are saying that you're going to that club regardless. Your life doesn't revolve around her. |
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| Author: | smashthecrash [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 8:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Sound advice, I'll have to try the "ask in 5-10" minutes strategy sometime. Also, from my limited experience and most of what I read I agree wholeheartedly about not ASKING but rather suggesting/telling. If I meet someone that can sing/play an instrument, I invite them to a jam session. If I meet someone who doesn't know many people, I invite them to a party (very easy when you have your own place/room in college!). I do need to work on the variety though. I make sure my life doesn't "revolve around her", rather I keep my social/professional calendar pretty full which makes it easy there. Hence, my original routine. On a side note, I ran into one of the girls from that night this afternoon while walking a different route around campus. Just proves the small town thing. I also feel like not asking for the number (without good reason, ofc) on first encounter will help separate me from all the guys (chumps) who do, rather make her want to qualify herself to get me to offer it, or bring it up herself. Is this an effective strategy in this situation? Can this ever DLV/backfire [not having the confidence to nclose]? |
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| Author: | DJ_Z [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 8:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
No, not asking for the number will not make you "stand out." You can stand out by being a mature, intelligent, reasonable, rational, so on and so forth man. |
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| Author: | smashthecrash [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 7:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Fair enough. Still working on those qualities. Changing yourself, that's the whole game right? |
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