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Epiphany, and back to square one.
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Author:  Soma [ Sat Dec 01, 2007 6:06 am ]
Post subject:  Epiphany, and back to square one.
I have been humbled.

I used to consider myself more than an AFC, because I was locked in the haze of the new found PUA material I stumbled upon six months ago. I read several books on PUA and considered myself to be better than any guy out there who hadn't discovered the PUA world. I had attained false confidence; I believed that because I read everything, I was automatically a PUA. I was wrong. I have virtually no experience, and recently I had an epiphany, knocking me down from my self-proclaimed status. Before I tell you how this happened, let me tell you a little bit about myself.

Since I have never really introduced myself or disclosed any information about who I really am, I feel it is necessary to do so now, so that when I post on the forum it won't be too impersonal. I am 18, a senior in high school (don't hate) and I'm about 5ft, 7 inches tall; small for my age. I look like young for my age as well (like I'm 16), which is an obstacle I've always had to deal with since middle school. I'm in almost all Honors & AP courses and, lets face it, it is not easy to become popular or get invited to parties when all the cooler kids are (for the most part) in the average classes. I am the most Alpha kid in all of my Honors classes, but that isn't really saying much. I am by no means very popular, but I'm not a social reject. I have many friends I hang with at school, but outside school I am basically flying solo. I snowboard and play inline hockey, making me fairly athletic and, while I'm not ripped, I am well toned. I am very pale, and I must use toner to gain any sort of tan. My attractiveness varies from "Hot" to "Okay/Not bad", according to girls I've encountered. I am a virgin, and have never made it past first base. I have not had a girlfriend since middle school, and have never actually made out with a girl. Only pecks. How discouraging is that?

Now that you know more about me, I feel that you can understand my humbling situation more clearly. I was recently hanging out with some kids on my hockey team, and this one AMOG decided he was going to establish his dominance (fucking asshole), and asked me if I was still a virgin. Fuck, this was a shit test that I should have noticed and passed; but I didn't. I said no. What was I supposed to do, lie? They would have noticed, and he only brought it up because he already knew the answer. Huge DLV. I realized that as a senior, I should have at least had some success with women at this point. I realized that just because I've read The Game, Mystery Method, Magic Bullets etc, that I am not an overnight "ladies man"; I am not any better than six months ago. Fuck, I was one of the only kids in the room who hasn't been laid, grouped with the sophomores and freshmen. I was blinded from seeing my true self: an AFC.

I need to change, and fast. I would like to at least get to second base before going to college next year, and I need some help. I need some newb missions, to get some experience. I can no longer be satisfied with the occasional number-close that I never follow up, due to lame ass excuses such as "I have no time with school, sports and work". I need motivation; something to work for, and I would like to have some advice on how to become a better PUA. I have a lot of time (about 8 or 9 months) and I would really like to improve socially. In my old group of friends I was the submissive and the butt of every joke, who couldn't stand up for himself for lack of physical strength. This conditioned me to be antisocial, to be bad with women. I need any advice, any help you guys could provide me. How did you guys (the mPUA's) get to where you are today? How did you overcome your obstacles?

I need guidance, and I need it fast.
Author:  DW [ Sat Dec 01, 2007 9:34 am ]
Post subject: 
Why not just get some practice? Bring a friend along (wingman, but don't let him know if you don't want him PUAing as well) and just go chill somewhere public. Then be like "Let's go talk to those girls" or whatever, because whenever your with a friend, it makes approaching much easier - at least for me, it feels much safer, because even if you fuck up, you and your buddy just laugh it off.

I've read a lot of the books too, and I never use any of the routines or anything directly from the books. I sorta merged them all together, and that's what you should do to form a "method" that suits you best, and that you'll be able to stick to naturally and perform well.

As for motivation... I think your the worst PUA I've ever read about, and a total AFC. Insults always get me up and running.

Lol, best of luck, bud.
Author:  Soma [ Sat Dec 01, 2007 5:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Why not just get some practice? Bring a friend along (wingman, but don't let him know if you don't want him PUAing as well) and just go chill somewhere public. Then be like "Let's go talk to those girls" or whatever, because whenever your with a friend, it makes approaching much easier - at least for me, it feels much safer, because even if you fuck up, you and your buddy just laugh it off.
My only problem with this is that I don't hang out with a lot of friends outside of school, because I have a lot of stuff going on right now, with school, work and sports. I do occasionally, but there is just not enough time.

Anyway, I have some friends that I want to introduce into the game, so what is the best way to do this? I've brainstormed with a few other people in this forum in the PUA Chat (in the one week it was open to everyone, lol) and we determined that the best way is to just suggest The Game to them, and not elaborate or explain what it is about. There is a good reason for this. If you tell them straight off about what it is, they will probably take it like this: WTF? Do you think I have troubles with women?!? They don't want to admit their problems to others, and will thus be less receptive to an idea that would they would otherwise be receptive to if they discovered it on their own.

So, is this the best way to get a wing - by giving The Game to them as a present (for X-Mas, since it is coming up)? Or would just recommending it, and leaving it up to chance that they will eventually check it out, be better?
Author:  Ka [ Sat Dec 01, 2007 7:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Soma, first and foremost you need to put yourself in a position to gain experience. Its fine that your a busy person, most people are, however its an excuse for not getting out.

Think about what your goals are and decide how to acheive them. Want to be more social? Will sitting around on your little bit of free time relaxing accomplish this? Is there time i spend doing something that could be better used working on my social life?

Next off, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

So the guy called you out on a status idicator. I woulda said, "What, are you trying to sleep with me?" Then start really laying into him about being intrested and you dont swing that way. Or you could have taken the harder, more mature route and simply said, loud and confident, while making EC yea i am and im cool with that. Then talk about something else.

Being a virgin is fine, everyone starts out that way. If you find it embarrassing then change it, start by becomming more social and later on meeting girls and then when you have one then work on getting her ready for it.

You read the material, aparently 6 months worth, break it out and use it. Drop your excuses and start building the new you.

Hope this helps.
Author:  uglykid [ Sat Dec 01, 2007 8:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
first off.. for your own sake.. do not let work..school or any other priority ruin your social life. MAKE THE TIME TO BE SOCIAL.

if you focus on work and school and not social life then - you become more of an introvert.

if you focus on school and social life then - you become poorer

if you focus on work and social life then - you become less educated.

you have to balance these areas of your life. people are social creatures.. we need those interactions to keep us sane.

as for motivation.. SEX. you have no clue on what you are missing out on.. go discover!


~ just noticed your in colorado. what part?
Author:  DW [ Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
If you tell them straight off about what it is, they will probably take it like this: WTF? Do you think I have troubles with women?!?
I have to disagree with you there, because my friend brought me into this by saying "You're not living up to your potential with women" and at first, I was like "...wtf I've had 3 times as many girlfriends as you." Then I thought again, and really he's trying to help me get where I wanna be. If your friends are real friends they'll take it well. Just be like "So yeah, I was reading this book about how to deal with chicks and its fucking amazing" or whatever floats your boat.
Author:  Soma [ Sun Dec 02, 2007 6:11 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for all the feedback guys, basically I just need to get out there more. This weekend I have gone out and done about 5 approaches at the mall (while christmas shopping) so I'm on the right track. This thread was basically to funnel out my frustration and get some constructive criticism, and I did.
Quote:
~ just noticed your in colorado. what part?
I'm in Littleton Colorado, so if you're ever in town PM me and we'll sarge it up! :D
Author:  96Firebird [ Sun Dec 02, 2007 7:13 am ]
Post subject: 
I understand the frustration thing, its just good to let it all out sometimes...

Don't be ashamed of your situation. I'm 19, a virgin, and have gotten just about as far as you. We are still young, plenty of time left in our lives. And what is so bad about being a virgin? I know a few others who are virgins, and they are all pretty good looking guys that I used to party with. Don't think about it, people don't look at you and label you as a virgin when you first meet them. Hell, most people are shocked when my virginity comes up in conversation. I'm about 5' 10", 125lbs, and a ginger (pale skin, freckles, red hair, no soul... the usual). And, as my sig says, I'm the best looking ginger that I know. I do things to make myself look better. I go tanning, shower daily (amazing how many people don't), and wear nice clothes. I've changed my wardrobe a lot since entering college, and its great.

And I wouldn't hang out with your hockey team so much. If nobody stood up for you, they don't sound like friends you would want to be around. The only thing different between me and you is that I had a close group of friends in high school, which has carried over to college (which is both a good and bad thing). Its never too late to make friends, you could join a social circle at any time in life. I was in AP and honors classes as well, also engineering classes in high school. Just because these people aren't the "coolest" kids, doesn't mean they don't party. I only went to a few high school parties, trust me most aren't that great. College parties are where its at, and because I lived in a college town I went to quite a few.

Being a virgin does not mean you are AFC. Hell, I know plenty of kids who are whipped by girls because they want ass. I would much rather have control of the situation and stay a virgin, then get some ass because I did everything she said.

The best advice I can give you, get out more. As most have said, don't let your job and school rule your life. Don't live to work, work to live. And look forward to college, but live in the moment. Don't waste the rest of your high school wishing things were different, because things WILL be different when you go to college. A lot changes, and change can be both good and bad. Its up to you to decide which will happen to you.
Author:  Ka [ Sun Dec 02, 2007 7:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Kinda off topic, but my friends rip on me all the time. They say i look like Justin Timberlake. Tonight we went out and now that i dress better they really laid into me.

Until a waitress who wasnt waiting on us came over and asked me why so many people think i look like him. At first i thought maybe my friends said something and she was playing with me so i just played it off cool. Then she said she asked because like 5 other tables wanted to know, she said she didnt see it but like a bunch of other tables noticed me.

I just looked at my friends, laff'd, sippd my drink and then flipped it on them and went, well now that ive made it to the top i need some new friends.

Very funny how sometimes outsiders come to your rescue, other times you just gotta stand up for yourself. My friends took a big notice in me acting more alpha and are starting to fall in line.

Just establish yourself as alpha in your circle of friends and things will get better quick.
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