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Kclosed too fast....what do I do?!? (URGENT)
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Author:  freedomfalcon [ Sat Sep 11, 2010 3:14 am ]
Post subject:  Kclosed too fast....what do I do?!? (URGENT)
So last week I am on my 4th "Day2" with this hb9 I have been seeing. I had been getting good IOI's from her that night. I wanted to Kclose her that night, so right after our hug hello I gave her a peck on her head (she is much shorter then me). The rest of the night went great, we talked alone for a bit. I needed to get home so I hugged her goodbye. I wanted to get a lips kclose, but she had the side of her face pressed into my chest. I had my hand under her chin and could have lifted her head up and gone for it, but instead I gave her another peck on the head and one on the upper ear. I felt good at the end of that night, I thought I had paved the way, I though wrong.

Fast forward to almost a week later. I text her and she sends me a text saying the whole kissing thing from last week is not ok. What do I do? Should I apologize for making her uncomfortable? Should I meet her at the cafe and pretend like nothing happened? Or should I not show up at the cafe and cut off all contact with her for a week? I haven't texted her back yet.
Author:  "Phantom" [ Sat Sep 11, 2010 4:44 am ]
Post subject: 
I think it's strange that she would say that. Kissing her on the head, not even lips, sounds like completely fair game to me. I'm no pro but I'd say you should just play it off like it's not a big deal. Cause it really isn't. That's weird that she texted you that.
Author:  kilativ15 [ Sat Sep 11, 2010 10:41 am ]
Post subject: 
Id say she just felt too easy after, that she didnt put up much of a fight.
Why didnt she tell you feck off during the kiss'? So now after thought her consequence has caught up with her.

Now what you have to do is show her you understand, and tell her its okay.
Author:  freedomfalcon [ Sat Sep 11, 2010 11:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Id say she just felt too easy after, that she didnt put up much of a fight.
Why didnt she tell you feck off during the kiss'? So now after thought her consequence has caught up with her.

Now what you have to do is show her you understand, and tell her its okay.
The sentece she sent me in the text preceeding that said something like "all we do is dance together and thats it".
Sounds like a good idea, but won't that come off as needy? I've been wanting to get a Day2 away from the cafe we meet at so we can at least build comfort, could I proactively LJBF her and say that I would like to get to know her better?
Author:  freedomfalcon [ Sun Sep 12, 2010 5:00 am ]
Post subject: 
Alright, my gameplan is to see if I can run into her again at the cafe. When I do, should I:

A)Pretend like nothing happened, only scale the kino back to before I tried to kclose her?

B)Tell her "I understand about the whole kissing thing. We'll slow things down, get to know each other better"?

C)Do the same as the above, only use anecdotal stories to indirectly communicate it?
Author:  freedomfalcon [ Tue Sep 14, 2010 6:58 am ]
Post subject: 
UPDATE: Yet another crisis averted, for now. Made up a gameplan, ran it by some friends, everyone said it sounded good. I called her up, she immediately asks how I was, I said good, she says decent. I told her I didn't have time to talk, that I understood about the whole kissing thing and that "...We'll slow it down". I then distracted her by asking about a side project she was doing, and she went with it. Talked a bit about what I was doing during the week, she will be busy with work so I wont be able to see her in person for a while. I ended the conversation saying I had to get going. Never heard the 4 dreaded words! Looks like I'm in the clear :D ....for now.

btw thanks killativ15!!
Author:  freedomfalcon [ Tue Sep 14, 2010 10:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
UPDATE: Got a text from her this morning saying that she was in a relationship and that the whole take it slow thing won't work because she's not interested in being more then friends. Switching to anti-friendzoning tactics with her and looking for other targets...sigh.... :cry:
Author:  Steel654 [ Wed Sep 15, 2010 11:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Why the fuck would you apologise? She sounds like a drama queen and you went AFC on her. Should have just ignored her bro.
Author:  freedomfalcon [ Thu Sep 16, 2010 4:36 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Why the fuck would you apologise? She sounds like a drama queen and you went AFC on her. Should have just ignored her bro.
I never apologized, I just said that I understood and that we would take things slow.
Author:  jazz25 [ Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Why the fuck would you apologise? She sounds like a drama queen and you went AFC on her. Should have just ignored her bro.
I never apologized, I just said that I understood and that we would take things slow.
Ive said lets take things slow to a girl before, and its the worst thing you can say... unless your extremely comfortable with the right circumstances.

Its like an insult... like her saying your penis is small. Chicks are sexual, and need to be pleased, by saying "lets take things slow" you are saying i dont really like you yet, you dont deserve to be pleased by me, while in your mind your thinking damn when can i hook up with this chick... be honest dude, dont say stuff you think will make her happy.



Good luck
Author:  Steel654 [ Tue Sep 21, 2010 9:10 am ]
Post subject: 
I think you should have K-closed her SOONER! I usually do k-closes the same day. It's only failed me twice and it turned out both those chicks were lunatics anyway.

I'd say you went AFC and got friendzoned, man.
Author:  Little Panda [ Tue Sep 21, 2010 1:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
The problem isn't that you kissed her too fast. The problem is: You kissed her too late. You have been underly sexual with her and you were put in the friendzone. So by the time you started kissing her, it was already too late. Her image of you was: He's my friend. Nothing else.

You should have made your intentions clear much much earlier. On the first date, MAX.

On the 4th date, it's waaaay to late to start showing romantic/sexual interest for her.
Author:  freedomfalcon [ Thu Sep 23, 2010 11:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The problem isn't that you kissed her too fast. The problem is: You kissed her too late. You have been underly sexual with her and you were put in the friendzone. So by the time you started kissing her, it was already too late. Her image of you was: He's my friend. Nothing else.

You should have made your intentions clear much much earlier. On the first date, MAX.

On the 4th date, it's waaaay to late to start showing romantic/sexual interest for her.
Thanks for the advice. In hindsight, I could have kissed her on the first night we met :( . In any case I have learned from this and am now initiating anti friend-zoning operations. ljbf-boyfriend-dont-want-to-give-up-jus ... 74995.html I have an idea of how to re-ignite the initial sexual spark we had between us when we first met(I basically just looked at her like I wanted to kiss her the entire time and let her begin the conversation) If I did that and she responded positively, could I re-initiate a kclose then?
Author:  JoHaye [ Fri Sep 24, 2010 11:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Ive said lets take things slow to a girl before, and its the worst thing you can say... unless your extremely comfortable with the right circumstances.

Its like an insult... like her saying your penis is small. Chicks are sexual, and need to be pleased, by saying "lets take things slow" you are saying i dont really like you yet, you dont deserve to be pleased by me, while in your mind your thinking damn when can i hook up with this chick... be honest dude, dont say stuff you think will make her happy.
Good luck
If you say you will take things slow, you imply that you want to make her feel more comfortable with you. How can that be an insult?

In this case, it's a good LJBF-defense because you anchor that you do want more than just be friends.
Author:  freedomfalcon [ Sat Sep 25, 2010 11:47 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Ive said lets take things slow to a girl before, and its the worst thing you can say... unless your extremely comfortable with the right circumstances.

Its like an insult... like her saying your penis is small. Chicks are sexual, and need to be pleased, by saying "lets take things slow" you are saying i dont really like you yet, you dont deserve to be pleased by me, while in your mind your thinking damn when can i hook up with this chick... be honest dude, dont say stuff you think will make her happy.
Good luck
If you say you will take things slow, you imply that you want to make her feel more comfortable with you. How can that be an insult?

In this case, it's a good LJBF-defense because you anchor that you do want more than just be friends.
That is precisely what I was thinking when I told her that. In any case, I have a plan for getting out of the FriendZone™(break contact + pursue other women + make her subtly aware of said pursuits).

1)How can I tell weather or not I am out of the FriendZone?

2)When I do get out and re-escalate, what should I do if she pulls the same crap she did in the original post?
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