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Author:  YinYang [ Wed Jun 16, 2010 2:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Groups of people I don't know

I am about to head off to college. I noticed that I have some serious difficulty coming off as the Alpha while interacting in a group of people who I have not met before. Say, there are 2 other guys and 3 girls, and maybe a few of them know each other but I know none of them. It's almost like I subconsciously take a step back and just observe the interactions. I don't want to do that, I want to be in there talking, being fun to be around. I am great with 1 on 1 game with girls, and even girls I don't know very well, but of course that doesn't happen often seeing as girls usually travel in packs. Also I am great at meeting people, guys and girls, 1 on 1. I can make friends easily and start conversations. It's just the group setting where I don't know the people in the group that I find myself being quiet which soon leads to me being ignored. Any help is much appreciated! Thanks!

Author:  ZeroValley [ Wed Jun 16, 2010 5:36 pm ]
Post subject: 

-Try and get the conversation revolving around a topic (or topics) that you have a certain form of dominance in (e.g. talk about Martial Arts while you do Muay Thai), or just any topic where you can have good input in. (This is important the first 5-10 minutes. After that, you should have rooted your presence and can stray to other topics.)

-If they throw in a certain call-back that only makes sense to them, ask about it. (Or you could just ignore it.) An easy way to get along with a group is to have the group as a whole willingly make small social investments in you like explaining a call-back.

-'How do you all know each other'.

-Stay alpha, yet (especially when you first enter the group) don't full-out AMOG the other alpha that's already in the group. (If there even is one.)

How are you with gaming bigger sets? Like a 4 or 5 set? I kind of recognise your problem, I used to find it hard to assert PU-related control over bigger sets, which intimidated me quite a bit. The 'step back' might be because this makes it easier to see the entire group, so you can think about how you should deal with this. (which is bad.)

-Zero

Author:  YinYang [ Wed Jun 16, 2010 6:02 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks for the reply!

Also to clarify, I don't literally step back, just mentally. I speak less and observe more.

Although inevitably it is sometimes intimidating, I can approach 4 or 5 girls fairly easily and comfortably. Also, I have noticed I am very comfortable when I am speaking in a group with a number of girls that includes a homosexual or socially awkward or non alpha guy.

The only time I begin to trip up my game and step down from the alpha status is when there is another guy who has already become the alpha in the group.

Author:  YinYang [ Wed Jun 16, 2010 7:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

Now that I think of it, I only really make friends with guys who are slightly less alpha than I am. I don't usually try to make friends with the very socially awkward, nor do I usually befriend the very alpha ladies man. Maybe I feel challenged and intimidated subconsciously by those guys who are very alpha and get the really attractive girls? Any input would be greatly appreciated!

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