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| Playing TOO hard to get??? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=67858 |
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| Author: | nolongerafc [ Sun May 23, 2010 5:36 am ] |
| Post subject: | Playing TOO hard to get??? |
I'll start off by giving a little background. Skip the next paragraph if you just want to see my issue. I just finished my second year at college and I will admit that I have made major strides when it comes to girls. I always used to be the "nice guy" who was way too overeager in high school and settled for average girls who would eventually dump me by giving me the LJBF or the "it's not you, it's me" routine. I decided to change this and go to the other extreme since starting college. Now I'll spit a constant cocky-funny game to girls I meet at my fraternity parties and will almost always hook up with one girl each weekend(not bad for a guy who didn't kiss-close until senior year in high school). My problem is that just making out with a girl is no longer satisfying to me and that I actually want to build a relationship, rather than continue the cycle of hooking up with one girl, her interest dying down and things fizzling out, and me going back looking for other girls. This past year I've had two situations where a girl would be really into me and we would be hooking up and texting a lot (most convos initiated by her). In the first situation I always made sure to downplay everything so that I would never come across as too needy. I also tried to use a lot of cocky funny. Things then kind of slowly fizzled out. She would text less, and as a result I would text less (again, didn't want to be too needy). A lot of drama occurred afterwards, which for the purposes of my post isn't necessary to explain. It ended with her ultimately telling me she stopped contacting me because she never got the impression that I was truly interested and got frustrated with me, which at the time I thought was BS given how much we would talk and how flirty our convos would be and the fact that we would hook up. After deciding this girl wasn't worth the added drama I just ignored her and let that situation blow over. Only thing is I feel this situation is repeating itself with the new girl I've been kind of seeing. As she was really coming on to me at first and now her interest is suddenly dropping off seemingly out of nowhere. We went from talking every day (her starting just as many convos as me) to now once, maybe twice a week at most. This decline just began as soon as we got out of school for break and we live very far away from each other. So alas, my question is what am I doing wrong? I obviously pay a strong cocky-funny game with them and have them chasing me heavily at first. And I know for a fact that I don't change into a "Wuss" after getting them interested. In fact, I make it a point to not. So could I possibly be playing "too" hard to get with these girls, making them lose interest? I'm not a one-itis kind of guy and will be perfectly fine finding new girls if it doesn't work out with this one, but I am into this girl and would like to see where things could go with her if I can straighten things out. Any suggestions are welcome and I would love examples of things I can do to be a challenge, while still letting the girl know I'm into her because I want to end this pattern now. Thanks for reading that long post. |
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| Author: | †AFC† [ Sun May 23, 2010 11:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yeah man, you hit the nail on the head. I was doing the same thing recently until someone pointed out to me my pitfall. If your interested in a girl, it's all well and good to do the cocky funny thing, but you got to have an element of interest. You MUST make STATEMENTS OF INTEREST every now and then, otherwise what the hell would be the point in her pursuing someone who is seemingly not ever going to be attracted to her? Also about text game and appearing needy, in my opinion that really only applies in very early days. Only you can really gauge it, but when you guys get real close, like borderline Gf/Bf I don't think it's really necessary to leave hour gaps between texts. If you do that and don't state your interest, you're essentially massively IODing non stop. |
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| Author: | pussyhungry [ Sun May 23, 2010 11:19 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
yeah, i was doing the same thing. shes probably confused about how you feel vecause of how cool your playhing it she probably thinks your not into her in that way you need to play it cool but at the same time drop plenty of hints, chicks dont want a guy who will txt them every five minutes thats just annoying and the girl will thihk that you have no life. a morning text to start off with is always good, then she will know that first thing in the morning your thinking about her, if she actually replies its a good sign, normally chicks will just ignore it cause they have more imporrtant shit to do like hair makeup etc, the fact that you get a reply is a big plus so go from there, try to keep the conversation going for a while so you seem keen. its simple man if your really into this chick then leave the cocky funny act to the minimum. hopefully this helps bro |
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| Author: | abstracted [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 6:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Sounds similar to me... One of my last pickups went really well into the end of the second date, but then things fizzled out. I'm peeved because even though I have several others on the go, she was very attractive and had an attractive personality too. I had enough time to demonstrate tonnes of value and flip most of the attraction switches, except I may not have qualified her directly enough, and didn't present any vulnerabilities. She earned a few SOI's that I didn't deliver also. I've gone from needy/supplicative to the far opposite end of the spectrum. |
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| Author: | cagewalker [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 6:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Sounds similar to me... One of my last pickups went really well into the end of the second date, but then things fizzled out. I'm peeved because even though I have several others on the go, she was very attractive and had an attractive personality too.
I know this is an old thread, but this idea of 'direct qualification' and 'vulnerabilities' is an interesting concept I know little of. I had enough time to demonstrate tonnes of value and flip most of the attraction switches, except I may not have qualified her directly enough, and didn't present any vulnerabilities. She earned a few SOI's that I didn't deliver also. I've gone from needy/supplicative to the far opposite end of the spectrum. Can someone explain, or point me towards a few sources? |
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| Author: | abstracted [ Wed Jun 09, 2010 12:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
either will come up mixed in with pua on google; Revelation and the other mystery method books also cover it. |
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