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What's your theory?
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Author:  Winchester [ Fri May 07, 2010 5:14 pm ]
Post subject:  What's your theory?

Ok, I'm having a problem for a long time really. I just read another thread about 'buyer's remorse theory, and think that could be a big part of my problem. I'll try to explain my situation as briefly as possible and would be great to get some responses on it.

I can't describe my situation without sounding arrogant, so just bare with me. I'm a pretty good looking guy, which helps me a lot meeting girls. I'm 21 and at university, I find it fairly easy to go over to a girl, get her interested and walk away with a number or k-close depending on the environment i.e. library or nightclub. My major problem is getting the actual date arranged with the girl, I'll give 2 recent examples.

1) I just finished my exams, but when I was in the 'Silent room' at the library I saw a cute girl I was interested in, and we are in some massive room with exam conditions, so literally no talking is allowed. So I notice we check each other out a couple times, so I write a note saying " Best way to get your number, a)Guess b) Steal or C) write a clever note...txt reply to...."

She loved this and responded straight away with how cheeky I was but she liked how I did it, we text a little after it and she suggested we meet for coffee the next day, then when the day came I text her saying was she about for this drink, and she said she was busy but we should have one next time we see each other at the library etc....a few days later I text saying we should meet up for a drink so night instead but with some flaky texting it went nowhere. Not sure what went wrong, she was so keen.


2) I bump into a girl at a nightclub who I think is the girl mentioned above, I play it smart and find its not her, but turns out we just saw each other at the library too. We end up chatting for maybe an hour and dancing, everything is going great, we trade numbers and right before she leaves she says she really likes me, i say I'll give her a call sometime.

So a couple days later we text, i ask her for a drink she says shes busy, then a couple days go she starts instant messaging me, we chat for abit I ask if shes free the following night to meet up, she says shes busy with her mates birthday, but doesn't offer to reschedule or anything. Which could be a legit reason.

Tbh I'll be back in the library next week and could easily bump into either of these two girls and suggest a coffee break or whatever, maybe it'll work out, I don't know, but there is a definite trend going on here. I usually get a fair few numbers on a night out, and we text a little, sometimes we do meet up or whatever, but a lot of the time they just flake. Just to note I usually do well on dates, and once I get to that stage I'm good to go, just the gap between getting the initial interest and converting it into an actual meet up is my Achilles heel SPAM.

So any advice on my problem in general or on either of these 2 examples would be appreciated, thanks for reading.

Author:  bits [ Sat May 08, 2010 3:00 pm ]
Post subject: 

Kudos for the note you passed her in situation 1. It made me laugh

This indeed very much sounds like buyer's remorse to me. In the moment you cause all these feelings which make her interested, but one day later these feelings have changed.
The change of feelings is probably because her rational mind kicks in somewhere: I just met this guy, I don't know him, he probably is a player (based on your looks), I'm probably one of many girls he met like this, it's not safe.

Notice how all these things aren't really in your favor. You should try to prove her otherwise that you're different, and best way to do this is through qualifying her. By letting her know that you have standards, she will feel special and she will see you as a high value-guy.
You shouldn't wait to long with this. Qualify her ASAP, before that rational part gets awake, or even better: Bounce her immediately ("I'm tired of studying, let's take a coffee break") and then run your game.

Author:  Winchester [ Sat May 08, 2010 8:21 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks for the advice mate, I'm just a little confused about this 'getting her to qualify herself to me'. I've never really understood, any chance you could give me an example for the situations mentioned above?

Thanks.

~Phate

Author:  bits [ Sun May 09, 2010 5:36 pm ]
Post subject: 

Getting her to qualify will get her invested in the conversation. You throw up hoops, through which she can jump through. In that way, you're not that regular guy from the library anymore, but you're Phate. You're different than other guys since you don't care about her physical beauty: You're looking for inner beauty (she has to meet up to your standards).
One short link: http://www.pualingo.com/pua-definitions/qualification/

Point being here is that a girl always wants her friends to have a good view on who she is.
Qualifying is a big element of natural game, Mystery Method uses it to create female-to-male interest (A3)

I'll give you an example:
Situation 1: An immediate bounce should have been easiest. You could text her with: 'Are you always studying or can you take a 10-minute break?'
Note: Qualification through texting is very difficult, since you don't have the body language

Second situation is a little more difficult: Depending on how you gamed her, she may have seen this as a one-night-stand. Club game is, depending on the club, very difficult to get to see someone again: Women are drunk, partying, and in a different environment. Much flaking occurs in club game.
To reduce flaking, you'd have to qualify her, but that would be only possible if you can have a reasonable conversation together.

Again, qualifying is only about checking (or giving the impression that you do) a girl for the qualities you want in a girl.
For example: "Can you cook?" "Are you a good friend?" "What type of guys do you normally date?"
But also: "Wow, do you always hang out this much with guys you just met?"

Hope this helps.

Author:  Winchester [ Sun May 09, 2010 10:33 pm ]
Post subject: 

Yeah that helps a lot, thanks for all the input.

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