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Feeling the effects of failure
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=66657		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  UK Buddha [ Sun May 02, 2010 1:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Feeling the effects of failure
Hey guys, this is my first post in a long time.

I have been very patient with pick up for a while, but I'm starting to get very frustrated with my lack of success.

I have read "The Definitive Book Of Body Language" by Allan and Barbara Pease as well as "The Game" by Neil Strauss, both books really built my confidence and made me feel like I had an advantage in life.

After going out several times and being dealt with rejection after rejection, it really mounted up and ate at me.

I feel as though I'm not worthy to go up to girls, I never try pick up anymore, as much as I want to.

It has totally rocked my confidence.

Is there anything I can do to change my outlook and get back to my old confident self?
Author:  Chelios [ Sun May 02, 2010 2:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Read" The Game" again. Stay on the forum and open up, advice will flow, keep your head up.
Author:  Jason74Zepplin [ Sat May 08, 2010 9:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey Buddha,

whatever you do don't give up!!!!!

Get some confidence coaching. Pick up covers so many topics on personal development and each of the areas covered in books like the game or the natural art of seduction can and need to be studied in detail and applied if you really want to get this thing nailed. In my opinion confidence is the absolute key!!

You've got some inner game issues that you need to focus on...do that first then start dipping your toe back into the pick up pool.

At the moment you care too much about what people think and thats holding you back.

Jason
Author:  ElleTheGirl [ Sat May 08, 2010 1:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
If you haven't already, it would be worth typing out the most impacting rejections you've had on your confidence and sharing them on the forum so that others with more experience can give you tips in order to improve your game, and help you prevent it from happening again in the same way.

Another thing you can do (which I'm sourcing partly from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) is write out each rejection, summarised into a few hundred words, for your self, and then try to look at it objectively as if one of your friends was telling you this story. What would you tell him he did right? What would you tell him he did wrong? Would there be any parts which you'd have to tell him to ask someone with more experience for better/more informed advice?

Try this and maybe you'll see some of your mistakes and areas you can improve on yourself. Then come back to the forum for more advice, or simply work on what you think you need to by going out again and just persevering.

Good luck getting the confidence back up! :)
Author:  Ezo [ Sat May 08, 2010 2:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
You have read two important books but there is more material out there.

What you need is experience. You need to get out there and have some successes. Truth is, you are gonna have success eventually if you just fail enough times.

The way to learn without being beat down by failure is to realize that the sets doesnt matter. You are just talking to people. You need to rewire your brain. Dont see a girl as a potential sexpartner. See each girl as a chance to practice, in practice you will lose until you win. You are allowed to make mistakes. Which means that there are just two rules you need to consider.
1. If you open, you have won.
2. If you dont open, you have lost.

It doesnt matter if you crash and burn or not, eventually you will find girls that accept your moves and you will start getting your confidence up. Girls arent dangerous, they are just dangerous to your ego. And if you are confident that the value of your ego isnt dependent on remarks from total strangers, you will be just fine.
Author:  bits [ Mon May 10, 2010 8:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
For the emotional breakdown, you could use NLP to build yourself an anchor that can get you in state immediately (I can recommend you the Chris Howard course), which can fire you up anytime, anywhere.
I noticed myself setting an anchor (unconsciously) yesterday by raising my fist and shouting 'hoppa' everytime I scored a point in the volleyballmatch. Today, I notice I only have to imagine myself shouting hoppa en raising my fist to feel strong and powerful again.

Try to analize where your PU goes wrong, do some googling, post here and remember: A PUA is happy to learn from his mistakes, since it is just a hurdle that eventually will help you to be able to get any girl you like, even that supermodel.
Author:  RandD [ Mon May 10, 2010 9:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Excersise, its the best mood lifter.
Author:  UK Buddha [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 12:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey guys, thanks for the support. Apologies for the late reply, I've been prioritising a lot of things and getting back on track.

I feel a lot of it comes down to my looks, I'm not a bad looking guy, just a bit overweight. Not obese, just not trim. This I feel really holds me back, or at least it bothers me. I'm working on that now, getting in better shape. I plan on losing a couple of stone (28 lbs for the non-English).

I can't remember the worst rejections, it's never the words I remember, just the body language and look.

I've found that "Hella Good" by No Doubt is a great song to build my spirits up. I played it once before I went out on a successful night a while back and it makes me feel good going in, even if the night ends up a failure.

I haven't been out to game anyone in over a month now, but I feel that losing some weight and looking better (in my eyes) will be the ultimate confidence booster.
Author:  Chelios [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 7:30 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Hey guys, thanks for the support. Apologies for the late reply, I've been prioritising a lot of things and getting back on track.

I feel a lot of it comes down to my looks, I'm not a bad looking guy, just a bit overweight. Not obese, just not trim. This I feel really holds me back, or at least it bothers me. I'm working on that now, getting in better shape. I plan on losing a couple of stone (28 lbs for the non-English).

I can't remember the worst rejections, it's never the words I remember, just the body language and look.

I've found that "Hella Good" by No Doubt is a great song to build my spirits up. I played it once before I went out on a successful night a while back and it makes me feel good going in, even if the night ends up a failure.

I haven't been out to game anyone in over a month now, but I feel that losing some weight and looking better (in my eyes) will be the ultimate confidence booster.
Remember this, everything that makes you feel better, looking best as possible, bein confident, music for your mood, are all advantages, use them.
Author:  QuickRacer [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 8:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Buddha, I think we all feel your pain brother! Something that worked great for me, online dating. It's super easy to get dates, and think about how your view of women will be and how you approach them when you already have a date this week with someone? You don't care as much, you have a date already. Who are some of the most successful PUA's? Naturals that never had to worry about it, and don't worry about game and picking up chicks. They have always been comfortable around women. Get on plenty of fish or match, get dates. Then work on your game and I bet it'll be much better dude! Good luck my friend.
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