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GF with BF suddenly acts like a bitch
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Author:  whatthaeff [ Thu Mar 25, 2010 12:55 am ]
Post subject:  GF with BF suddenly acts like a bitch
Hi guys,

for a couple of weeks I'm having a great time with a girl that's living in the same appartment as I do. We eat together a lot, we watch movies, go out a lot et cetera. I knew that I didn't have a chance with her, because she has a boyfriend for 3 years with great natural game. Anyway, I tried to keep gaming her, just for the personal sake.

A couple of days ago we went out, got very drunk. In the bar she started telling she was unhappy in her relation (before that it was all happiness with her BF she talked about) and wanted to quit with it. To summarize it: we kissed, did some foreplay, but then I said we should stop it (just because I was to drunk to do it and didn't want to be a loser). She agreed.

The next day everything was different. She came to me to say she was sorry, that she was having difficulties with her BF but that the thing between us shouldn't have happened. I told her I agreed.

Then she started 'ignoring' me. She doesn't text me back anymore, although my phone messages were totally non-sexual. She's acting like a bitch to me, like I did something wrong. Also she seems to be very happy again with her BF.

What is going on here?

James!
Author:  Little Panda [ Thu Mar 25, 2010 2:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
James,

there's a possibility that she feels like a slut after what you guys did. She's acting like a bitch towards you because YOU allowed it to happen (this is what her instincts tell her. She will do anything to convince herself that she's innocent). Also, she's pissed at her self for letting the alcohol have such an impact on her.

She's not being a bitch, James. She's being a woman. There's not much you can do about this now... I would suggest that you confront her about this and have a properdiscussion about what happened. Let her know that you are trustworthy and that you won't allow anything like this to happen again.

On the other hand, I don't know what your intentions with her are in the first place...
Author:  whatthaeff [ Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
James,

there's a possibility that she feels like a slut after what you guys did. She's acting like a bitch towards you because YOU allowed it to happen (this is what her instincts tell her. She will do anything to convince herself that she's innocent). Also, she's pissed at her self for letting the alcohol have such an impact on her.

She's not being a bitch, James. She's being a woman. There's not much you can do about this now... I would suggest that you confront her about this and have a properdiscussion about what happened. Let her know that you are trustworthy and that you won't allow anything like this to happen again.

On the other hand, I don't know what your intentions with her are in the first place...
I agree with you. The problem is that I didn't have much intentions with her. I liked her, but didn't really want to do anything (although I like flirting with her).

We already talked about it immediately the day after the thing happened. Maybe I should have been more clear that I wouldn't let this happen again. Thing is that I don't want a relation with her, but I just really like her personality. Now this thing happened and it feels like I lost a good soulmate :)
Author:  Little Panda [ Thu Mar 25, 2010 4:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
In that case I would advise you to stop with the flirting for a while. I know you don't talk a lot, but when you do talk to her, keep it friendly. I don't know how deep your conversation the day after was, but I would have talked to her as long as it takes to make her understand that I'm there for her - as a friend only. I would also tell her "I want you to feel safe around me. I know I messed up. We both did. I just hope that we can continue being friends and agree on the fact that nothing like this will happen again."

Of course, in your own words. After that - give her space. She knows your intentions and you made your point (hopefully) clear.

Now leave her alone for a while and see what happens. Whatever you do, don't go chasing her to apologize even more. Just act normal and live your life.
Author:  whatthaeff [ Fri Mar 26, 2010 10:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok, the conversation was there. It was short, but she isn't the kind of emo chick that falls in my arms with tears and stuff, haha.
I made clear that I wanted her to feel comfortable around me, in a non-sexual way. I also said that I hoped we wouldn't let this 'issue' get in between the friendship. She said everything was ok, and she's acting all normal again. A bit to normal if you ask me, so I'm a bit afraid to go Kino on her again.

Any tips on that issue? I don't really know my intentions myself, but I wanna get in a fun, playful situation with her again. She is really GF-material, but I've never had experience with girls in relationships. Should I wait some time? Or is it already to late?
Author:  Freemind [ Sat Mar 27, 2010 2:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Little Panda... I completely agree with you. I think yoiu're a genius and this forum is blessed to have people like you!

Keep up the good work man, I've seen your posts around here.

Peace.
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