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social sticking point
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Author:  lalex [ Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:29 pm ]
Post subject:  social sticking point

for me this is a BIG issue. im attractive, cocky/sarcastic, atheletic, i have a well rounded life. However when it comes to striking a conversation and keeping it going i get at a lose of words. I feel this is what brings me down because i dont seem interesting enough. So could any help me out on how to be a better socialist give me some pointers or something maybe? I'm 90% sure this is my prob because i get looks from girls all the time but i know i lack social skills so i dont even bother to start a conversation. help please.

Author:  SSN [ Thu Mar 18, 2010 4:05 pm ]
Post subject: 

I had a similar problem. There are two things that helped me:

-Being more observant of my surroundings.
-Being genuinely interested in the person I was talking to.

When you're talking to someone, take note of what's going on around you, and when the conversation dies down a bit, mention something you've noticed.

Also, when someone is talking to you, don't just listen and think of what you're going to say next. Really listen to what they are saying and be interested. Ask questions! People love talking about themselves.

Finally, just start talking to more people in general. I like to think of it as building up conversational momentum. The more people I talk to, the more momentum I get and the easier it becomes.

There is no quick fix for this problem, but it does get easier. Hope this helps. Good Luck

Author:  lalex [ Thu Mar 18, 2010 5:08 pm ]
Post subject: 

you know ive never really saw it as that. i guess that just shows how dumb founded people can be sometimes :lol: but it makes since i think i should try asking more open ended questions too. But thanks for the advice ill put it to use. practice makes perfect right?

Author:  SSN [ Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:04 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
you know ive never really saw it as that. i guess that just shows how dumb founded people can be sometimes :lol: but it makes since i think i should try asking more open ended questions too. But thanks for the advice ill put it to use. practice makes perfect right?
Absolutely, that's the only way you will learn.

Just another thing I want to add. If you're like me then you would've had a few people in your life that you just don't find interesting or like talking to. I found that forcing myself to talk to those people really helped me with my conversational prowess.

Yes the situations were slightly uncomfortable, but I undoubtedly learnt the most from them.

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