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A sensitive situation?
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Author:  d_trini [ Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:57 pm ]
Post subject:  A sensitive situation?
Hi guys. Anyone got some advice how best to handle this? There's this HB9 that I really like. I feel I've been making some progress with her, building rapport, etc. Then she suddenly dropped all contact just under two weeks ago so after a few calls and texts without reply I did what I guess any PUA should do - stopped calling or texting and moved on. Well, OK, not completely moved on - I do like her a lot after all.

Then this weekend I got a text from her apologising for not calling me back, she wasn't being rude, etc. Turns out, her grandad who she is very close to is gravely ill in hospital and she's been spending pretty much all her spare time there. Some mutual friends confirmed this and that she had been quite down and withdrawn because of it. Anyway, we had a chat in which I expressed my concern, asked her if she was OK, etc and she seemed genuinely grateful to hear it. I didn't say the usual "if there's anything I could do" because it just sounded cliched. I sort of closed off with "Try to stay positive; I'll be thinking of you."

I'd like to contact her again in a day or two just to ask how her grandad is doing and how she's holding up so I can keep communication going but dont want to come across as opportunistic and insincere. (I AM genuinely sympathetic as I went through a similar situation about a year ago when my own grandad died)

How would you handle a situation like this? What would you say/do or not say/do?

Thanks
Author:  Little Panda [ Wed Mar 17, 2010 9:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is indeed sensitive to her. Therefore, until she's feeling OK again - don't sexually game her or try to set up dates just yet. See this as another opportunity: Comfort. This is the perfect way of showing that you can be sympathetic and take care of her (if she's girlfriend material for you).

However... Make sure your intentions are clear as well. You're not aiming to be her friend. You have enough friends. So just make sure you let her know that somehow "you'll be there if she needs you" and then back off. Let her deal with her sorrow (or whatever) and just give her some space.

Dig too much into her situation and boom, you're in the friend zone. Be careful.

Good luck.
Author:  MickCoffee [ Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree with Zentrode here his advice is quite genuine.

Personally I would do the exact same as what he said, ensure her that you are there for her and generally back off afterwards. If she needs some company then don't be scared to give it to her, do not fear the friendship zone either it isn't something to genuinely fear. Do what you would naturally do, there's no point in worrying about some friend zone when you can simply break that off by breaking rapport.

I sympathise with her as much as you do man, I think we all know what it's like to lose someone and whether we end up in the friend zone or not, it's great to know that there's someone there to help us.

Happy Gaming :twisted:
AFCCoffee
Author:  d_trini [ Thu Mar 18, 2010 11:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the advice guys. It's exactly how I feel myself. I'll just drop her a text tomorrow to ask how he's doing, if she's ok and say that I'm here if needed and leave it at that for now. My gut feeling is that anything more than that at this time will have the wrong effect. Cheers!
Author:  Ezo [ Thu Mar 18, 2010 11:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yep, show her that you are there if she needs you but dont push her into anything. Leave her some space.
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