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Advice needed, Big sticking point.
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=63753		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Sanctuary [ Thu Mar 11, 2010 4:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Advice needed, Big sticking point.
I met this girl in a class and started talking to her, within 20 mins i'd demonstrated myself to be interesting by taking her to the campus climbing wall (which she didn't know existed) and showing her how to climb. Then We had some kino and number closed.

Next day took her slacklining (kind of like tight rope walking).

Next day we hung out at hers and i got her to show me cool stuff (she taught me kungfu) and let her know that i wasn't just a source of entertainment, she had to entertain me aswell.

Two days later we made pancakes and kissed on two separate occasions that night. Shes definitely into me. After we kissed she asked me if i did this with alot of girls because i seemed very confident and my facebook is covered with photo's of me and girls.

Two days later i asked her if she wanted to hang out but she blew me off. I realised that i shouldn't have asked her so a few days later i told her we were hanging out and she owed me for making pancakes. She said yeah and said she would get stuff to cook for me. Then about 15 mins before we were supposed to meet today she bailed on me.

I manned up and told her she shouldn't waste my time, and she apologised.

So now do i -

1) not talk to her for a while and see if she contacts me
2) reply and say that she has to make it up to me
3) Tell her that we are resheluding for next week (i'm away surfing this weekend)


I'm not bad with opening, closing and women generally, but am not sure what to do in this situation. I'm not looking to just bang women, i actually just enjoy spending time with them, being in relationships and having fun.
Author:  Little Panda [ Thu Mar 11, 2010 7:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
You've made your point clear to her: You'd like to hang out again. Unless she's lost all of her interest for you (not likely), she will contact you on the next occasion.

So what's your job now? Not to screw it up by being too needy and clingy. Leave it at this for a while. If she doesn't contact you for about 2 or 3 weeks - she definitely lost her attraction for you. If that happens - rebuild it up again, but take things from square one again.

Good luck!
Author:  Carlos_Eff [ Fri Mar 12, 2010 3:00 am ]
Post subject: 
freeze out.
no reply after a few days, let it go
if she does reply, let her know she's on probation and because of her actions she took one step forward for getting back in touch but three steps back for taking so long
Author:  Sanctuary [ Fri Mar 12, 2010 12:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Fuck. Didn't see this till i'd already replied to her. In the end i went with the strong "So how are you going to make it up to me?" response but i instantly realised it was to strong a response. This girl is probably not going to take it in the jokey/C+F way i meant it and is likely to think i am making a really big deal of her blowing me off.

Best thing to do now i think is to follow your advice and say/do nothing. We have an exam together Monday so am just going to not contact her till then, and catch her after.

Will just play it by ear on the day and judge what to do on how she responds to me. Will aim to build up some comfort with her and just see what happens.

Thanks for the advice and anymore comments/advice are very welcome.
Author:  mastermind007 [ Fri Mar 12, 2010 1:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sounds like everything is good tell you framed the relationship a different way. What i get is you were having fun with her getting her to invest naturally having her teach you kungfu. Then you changed the relationship once youmade her pancakes. You were in a relationship of just having fun. In addtion to baiting her into investing. Now what it seems like is you demanded her to invest in you since you maked the pancakes. This is needy behavior.
I was in the same situation this last week with one of my girls. I know how it is man.
To fix this I would take the time freeze out and give her time to realize she had fun with you. wait tell after the test talk to her like you were studying for it and were just busy. Now you go back to just having fun with her and baiting her to invest.
All and all good job man, Keep up the great work.


Mastermind007
Author:  Sanctuary [ Fri Mar 12, 2010 5:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah man, thats exactly right. I wanted to get her to make me something as i'd made her something, but now i see that i pushed to hard for her to do something for me.

She replied to my text that i shouldn't have sent as it was to strong.

Me "So how are you going to make it up to me?" - To needy.

Her reply " nothing lol" Which is the only answer she could realistically give without giving in loads, i pushed her into a corner with my text, i tried to hard to be alpha.

My reply to that "Haha! Dam i thought you were at least going to sing Pokemon with me :)" - This is a private joke that we have together so figured it was a good way of reminding her on fun times.

I'm just going to wait a while and then ask her if she would like to come slacklining again, if she says yes i'll do better next time, if she says no, well i'll live :)


The thing is all the mistakes i made were because i was trying to game. When i was just myself we had an awesome time, but when i tried to be alpha and get her to do stuff for me i screwed up, or was to blunt/strong. When i try to be alpha i just end up sounding needy, which i'm not.

I think i'm going to stick to my natural style with women, and not try to be alpha as i clearly don't understand how to do it correctly. Heck i'm pretty good anyway, and i will definitely keep learning body language, openers, as that just makes me a better more interesting person. But i think i some areas i'll just stay as i am :)

Thanks for advice, as ever anymore is welcome.
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