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how do i turn a good friend, into something more?
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Author:  Teen [ Thu Feb 18, 2010 2:21 pm ]
Post subject:  how do i turn a good friend, into something more?
basically guys, there is a girl i've liked on and off for the past year, never anything much, but i've always been best mates with her so wasn't sure if i should risk everything for something that might be nothing.

anyway, on valentines day, a friend of mine had 5 people over. every one was in 'couples' snuggling, me with the girl i liked. there was a moment when i could of kissed her, but chose not to because she was drunk, and i'm not the kinda guy that would have taken advantage of that.

so now i wanna try to turn us into something more than just friends, but have no clue on how to go about it.

advice would be great guys

-teen
Author:  Reo [ Thu Feb 18, 2010 7:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: how do i turn a good friend, into something more?
Lets face it you were/and still are simply afraid of getting rejected the fact you've only been just friends with all this time is proof enough
Quote:
there was a moment when i could of kissed her, but chose not to because she was drunk, and i'm not the kinda guy that would have taken advantage of that.
Please spare us the whole moral dilemma BS..... I'm sure everyone at the party was drinking. I bet some of your buddies got laid that night..... but not you.. Why??Because you were too busy playing Mr. Nice guy trying to take care of her probably got her a blanket to cover her up lol. You should have just kissed her and got it over with. You missed a perfect window of opportunity next time take it.
What will you do when you hear about her screwing some other dude you know?
Author:  Teen [ Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:11 am ]
Post subject: 
zealot. its not BS, your one of the PUA's who just cares about the next lay. I'm not. Every PUA like you are the reason chicks hate guys and call us all cheating bastards. So shut the fuck up. I'm not guna take advantage of a drunk friend, that would get me nowwhere.

and assuming that the rest of my mates got laid..well no..no they didn't. I don't even think they pulled. So again, shut the fuck up.

If someone wants to give me advice on how to turn it around from now, instead of saying 'oh you shoulda done this dude...' coz thats not guna help, that has passed.

From this post you may think I'm coming off as a dick, but its only coz i hate the PUA's like zealot here and i know there are plenty more people out there who think the same.

-Teen
Author:  Alsex [ Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:27 am ]
Post subject: 
I agree with Zealot in some sense.

Teen, kissing isn't sex. Unless you have herpes, I would have kissed her.

Girls CAN function when they are drunk. Would you have sex with a guy if you were drunk? Next time take that window, it will make it easier.
Author:  Teen [ Tue Feb 23, 2010 6:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Again Alsex, your advice doesn't help me at present because your giving me advice on the past. That's not what i asked advice for, so next time, don't post when you have nothing useful to say.
Author:  Stoneface [ Tue Feb 23, 2010 8:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just because she's drunk doesn't mean she's not capable of judging whether you she wants to kiss you or not. Alcohol impairs judgement, it doesn't completely remove it. You could have kissed her, it's not really a big deal and then the following day said something like: "You kissed me last night, if you don't remember. I heard that when you're drunk you do stuff you'd never dared if you weren't drunk. Is that accurate?"
Author:  [Vegas] [ Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Okay look, it doesn't matter if you agree or disagree with Reo (his name is not Zealot). It also doesn't matter what kind of guy you are or are not.

The point is, Reo is right in some sense. He didn't say you HAD to go and lay her or take advantage of her. His point is, you need to make moves and you have not. You said you have liked her on and off for a year? A year?!?! If it's been a year and you haven't made your motives clear, I don't know what you expect. Girls aren't like guys. Girls will place you in a category shortly after meeting you. In her eyes you are either: A friend, an option, or not liked. An 'option' meaning the type of guy she would date. If it's been a year, surely she has already placed you already and it sounds like she placed you as the "friend".

What distinguishes a "friend" from an "option" is lack of kinesthetics (kino) and intentional advancement. The "Nice Guy" persona you are portraying to her is what put you there. I'm not saying to be a jerkoff to her, that's not what I mean by "nice guy". What I mean is that instead of taking initiative and leading the relationship, you put yourself on her level and became a friend... if no one is leading the relationship, it won't advance or go anywhere. Why would you want to be a "nice guy" when you could have been the "cool boyfriend"?

Now, you want advice, and so I will give it to. Most guys here will say that after a year of being that friend and not making any advancements, it's a loss cause. Although I, for the most part, will agree with them, I will give you advice other than that since I know that's not what you want to hear. Take from it what you want.

Generally, "friends" don't just become "options" over night. Your frame in her eyes will not change unless you change. I don't know how close you are with her or how often you see her, but if it's a frequent meeting, this will be a lot more difficult. If you don't see her THAT often, I'd keep it that way for a bit. Give yourself some space from her and reinvent your frame. People here call it a freeze out. Will this work? Slim chance since she already perceives you as a friend and not an option, but right now it's your only chance.

You said you snuggled with her so you clearly have comfort with her which is good. However, refrain from giving her 100% of your attention. What is there about you that she can chase if you give it all up on the spot? That kills the fun of the game which I know girls love. When she is around, make it a habit to converse and flirt with other females as well. Be the life of the party and show her that you are the fucking man and everyone knows it.

Good luck, man. If you need me to explain something in a bit more detail, let me know.
Author:  JTs [ Thu Feb 25, 2010 12:10 am ]
Post subject: 
need 1 more post so im allowed to post links
Author:  JTs [ Thu Feb 25, 2010 12:14 am ]
Post subject: 
still wont let me so...

youtube "afc adam breaking out of the friend zone"... about third one down with the picture in the intro

best i could come up with

cheers
Author:  Schlarbaum [ Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:14 am ]
Post subject: 
You ask for help & advice, we give it to you.. and your bitch in return.
If you're not taking advantage of a girl, then you wouldn't be in the PU community.
Objective of a PUA are:

1. Girl of their dreams.
2. Bigger social circle.
3. Beautiful women to fuck.
4. Increase in overall lifestyle.
5. Get a simple girlfriend because you can't talk to girls.

That was your opportunity, you should have taken it. Chances are she wasn't DRUNK AS FUCK, she was probably buzzed. So she'll remember what happened.

PUAs do shit that they normally don't do before they got into it. I remember when I was an afc, I never even thought about a neg, I was a pussy whipped bitch and was afraid to get them mad. So I said nothing, or I'll compliment them a lot.
Now I'm learning this, and I do things & say that I normally don't do and I take every opportunity I have. It lead me to success & I'm only 17.

Keep in mind, drunks speaks the truth out of people.
If you had the opportunity and she made the move.. I'm pretty sure she always had a thing for you.
Author:  joker#13 [ Mon Mar 22, 2010 2:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Have you ever considered using some language patterns? There is alot of patterns to turn friends into lovers just look them up. Remember patterns work with only with the right vibe. So dont go in thinking that its some kind of trick, guinely believe in what you are saying. Trust me if you take the time to learn some of Ross jeffries material you will be alot better off. Especially in your situation. Google speed seduction workbook. The friends vs. lovers pattern is in there, also remember that you dont have to memorize the pattern, memorizing is nothing compared to understanding the structure once you understand the structure you make up the pattern on the fly.
Author:  Teen [ Tue Mar 23, 2010 9:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Schlarbaum, they didn't give advice on what I asked for. They may as well of told me how to make my eggs in the morning. If i get advice on stuff i ask for, i don't bitch.

And another thing, your clearly not aware of PUA material that is not based around deceiving or taking advantage of women, but on how to improve your life, social standing and help you find maintain relationships.

Thanks joker, I'd looked at Ross Jeffries before but was never sure of his technique but this was definitely useful, cheers man.

-Teen
Author:  joker#13 [ Wed Mar 24, 2010 3:16 am ]
Post subject: 
No problem man, glad i could be of some use if you have any questions bout how to use language patterns just pm me. nd im interested in your text method ive been having some troubles there
Author:  harehare [ Wed Mar 31, 2010 2:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
omg!! the same crap happened with me. But I don't know why...I was just too much of a pussy to make the move. We were sleeping together and both pretty drunk. Besides cuddling and some light kissing on the forehead and neck...I did nothing. I don't know if I will get the chance again. Please help me!!!

What can I do to bring the same mood back. I know I messed up and missed my opportunity, but I think me and the thread starter are wondering the same thing....How to get the opportunity back.

Please advise!
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