PUA Forum :: Can attract women, but not keep them

There's a relationship timeline of

attraction
getting them to hang around
actually being in a relationship for an extended period of time.

I have this unusual hole in my abilities at step 2. I'm really good at attraction and getting numbers, and am able to give a lot of advice about relationships - but since I've never actually kept a girl arond myself, the only relationships I've had seem to be with girls who are (while nice enough) a little bit desperate, worrying about the fact they're approaching 30.

I'm really good at attracting and getting numbers. But after all the fun of the moment is over, things never seem to work out.

I can't tell you what I'm doing wrong because I don't know.

All I want to hear is how everyone else progresses things after the attraction phase, and setting up a day 2, etc. etc.

Author:	Conker [ Fri Jan 01, 2010 1:12 am ]
Post subject:	Can attract women, but not keep them
There's a relationship timeline of attraction getting them to hang around actually being in a relationship for an extended period of time. I have this unusual hole in my abilities at step 2. I'm really good at attraction and getting numbers, and am able to give a lot of advice about relationships - but since I've never actually kept a girl arond myself, the only relationships I've had seem to be with girls who are (while nice enough) a little bit desperate, worrying about the fact they're approaching 30. I'm really good at attracting and getting numbers. But after all the fun of the moment is over, things never seem to work out. I can't tell you what I'm doing wrong because I don't know. All I want to hear is how everyone else progresses things after the attraction phase, and setting up a day 2, etc. etc.

Author:	retention [ Sat Jan 02, 2010 2:28 pm ]
Post subject:
ur not sexually escalating all the way. remember ur always sexually escalating. u want to build rapport, then break it. i really like the Dicarlo Escalation Ladder, google it, it's worked wonders for me.

Author:	Conker [ Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:11 am ]
Post subject:
Yes that has been my suspicion. When I look back on things, the times it went better were the times I escalated sooner. Escalating too late is a bad idea. Also I never escalated far enough when I did do it sooner. Right now I've accepted the concept that you should make a move and let her turn you down if she wants to, and then be able to brush it off like it's no problem, this is just how things go.

Author:	Hitman47 [ Mon Jan 11, 2010 1:13 am ]
Post subject:
Cpl advices I can give: - Qualify - Comfort. This is essential. Remember that u want a girl to think that ur into her for real. If you jst make out - #close and expect everything to be all right... well its not. - Escalation is a continum. I really cant tell u - 'escalater more' or 'less'. I personally do it too much at times, and girls get buyer's remorse.

Author:	abs [ Mon Jan 11, 2010 5:45 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Can attract women, but not keep them
Quote: There's a relationship timeline of attraction getting them to hang around actually being in a relationship for an extended period of time. I have this unusual hole in my abilities at step 2. I'm really good at attraction and getting numbers, and am able to give a lot of advice about relationships - but since I've never actually kept a girl arond myself, the only relationships I've had seem to be with girls who are (while nice enough) a little bit desperate, worrying about the fact they're approaching 30. I'm really good at attracting and getting numbers. But after all the fun of the moment is over, things never seem to work out. I can't tell you what I'm doing wrong because I don't know. All I want to hear is how everyone else progresses things after the attraction phase, and setting up a day 2, etc. etc. Hey brother, I think this has to do with something deeper and not due to lack of escalation, comfort building, etc. I believe we fail to keep a girl in the long run because we rely too much on her for our happiness and worth in life. I feel sooner or later the girls see this and that's what turns them off. I've been looking into Inner Game recently. And turns out it can help in this area. Inner Game has the power to change the way we perceive the world and our actions. It can help us to become the kind of man that girls want to be in a relationship with. It helps us develop the kind of attraction that doesn't fade away. I think this page I found does a better job at explaining what I'm trying to say: http://www.attractioninstitute.org/what ... inner-game

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Author:	Conker [ Tue Jan 12, 2010 11:35 am ]
Post subject:
Ah yes that is a factor also, I believe. I've been able to bear that in mind and work around it successfully, but sometimes in the moment my head gets away without me and I may start to think that her approval is something I need. What works is when I remind myself that there are so many other girls.

Author:	abs [ Tue Jan 12, 2010 12:48 pm ]
Post subject:
Hey man, that's great! Glad to hear that works for you. Keep growing.

Author:	Conker [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:48 am ]
Post subject:
Oh and I kept the link you posted, I'm going to watch it over dinner tomorrow.

Author:	Conker [ Sun Jan 17, 2010 11:38 am ]
Post subject:
Thank you SO MUCH! abs that is one of the best things I've ever seen... I can honestly say that it's turned around my entire thinking and I've been feeling a lot more positive and small successes are showing already.

Author:	abs [ Sun Jan 17, 2010 12:43 pm ]
Post subject:
Hey that's awesome! Glad to be of service

Author:	tweeby [ Sun Jan 17, 2010 1:52 pm ]
Post subject:
i just literally finished watching those videos... guys watch them!

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