So I've been pining over this girl for awhile. I mean I've always been prone to oneitis but I never knew the definition before I started coming here. Long story short on the second date she declared her disinterest in a relationship, apparently with anyone not just me (I asked that question straight up two days later after she texted me). Anyway an interesting thing happened last night. I saw her again at this small get together my friend Bryon was having at his place. Totally played it off like I didn't care, because honestly I was starting not to anymore. The whole hot/cold crap she pulls has been getting old for awhile but there was still something holding me back; well at least there was until I got home and went to sleep.
I had such an odd dream, I could see myself and all of my friends ten years in the future. One of the most vivid dreams I've had in my life. I'm am currently working to become an international attorney so this was a pretty rewarding experience overall. Anyway, in the dream I was dating this woman from Spain but I guess I was growing complacent with the relationship. All of the sudden a copy of myself -- sort of the other fork in the road if you will -- came in with the girl in question. I walked over and sparked up a conversation, and you know what? I finally realized how dull and indecisive she could be; and how dull and indecisive a person like that could make me. I could almost see my mind change on the spot. I broke off and the world seemed different.
Suddenly I realized how amazingly beautiful the woman from Spain was. After I stopped going after the wrong type I could see that what I wanted had been staring me in the face the whole time. I could see the exact kind of woman I need. She was beautiful and mysterious, I have a real thing for that mysterious side: almost as if the prospect of a light behind the vale holds endless possibility. She was intelligent, kind, and a bold lover of adventure: a writer of some kind I believe. In a way I think I've always been drawn to indecisive women for some reason. Maybe mistaking those signals for a connection has been more of a reflection of my own shortcomings than the unique expression of which I had been lead to believe at times.
All seemed clear when I awoke, I realized how wrong the kind of women I have been pursuing have been for me. However, more importantly, I realized the kind of man continuing those kinds of pursuits could make me. I saw the true me, the side I've always known was possible but have been too shy to put into action, and this is who I aim to become. After realizing who I am and what I'm looking for I feel as if a weight has been lifted from me. Through internal reflection and external examination I felt a complete breakthrough. So my challenge and epiphany is this: when faced with oneitis, take a serious step back and examine the girl. Take the biggest step you can, and focus on who you are and what you're looking for, and if the woman you've been obsessing over doesn't fit that description on a sheer analytical sense it's time to move the hell on because there are plenty of other women who will; and they're the ones who deserve your time. I sincerely hope this post helps
