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PLEASE HELP!!
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Author:  stanley91 [ Sun Dec 20, 2009 1:47 pm ]
Post subject:  PLEASE HELP!!
Hi, I'm new here and I don't know did I choose correct section, if not please move it somewhere else :P

So, I have a problem with some girl, I've met about month ago. We started to meet together often, share laughter and just hang out and have fun. Everything was cool till One intimate situation... That night we were drunk and you know... She started to kissing me wild and of course I couldn't resist :P I didn't believe it could happened because it was on our third date and beside that she is a kind of girl that seems to ignore flirts and act inaccessible. My present problem is that, she changed a lot since this... Now she seems to be and act only like a friend, and nothing more... I talked with her and she said she don't feel nothing to me :/ Had something went wrong? I did nothing she could be confuse... I don't know what to do, to return to this 'state' at the beginning, because start was wonderful.... Now she seems so introvert now and act like I'm just a mate from school...
Author:  Conker [ Sun Dec 20, 2009 2:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
So she's really shy and decided to experiment, and regrets it - maybe she feels like you took advantage of her.

She's not comfortable now. You have to make her feel comfortable somehow. I can't go into enough detail without knowing more about what's going on. Maybe she feels like you took advantage of her.

Maybe try flipping the whole thing around - throw her off. Tell her that drunk night was stupid, wasn't it?
Author:  stanley91 [ Sun Dec 20, 2009 2:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hmmm as I know she had bad experience with her ex... and she had a 'year off boyfriend' and she told me She don't trust guys but for me she did an exception... She also strongly emphasize state and make me want to think 'We won't be together, we are just friends, don't expect more' But she is to nice, I like her very much, I couldn't go this way after all that... I see the vibe between us, but I think she don't want to feel this way that's why she tries everything on her own... But I wonder why? What do you think... Should I 'cancel' her for a few days, just ignore her, and see her reaction? If she will bother, if she cares, she start to write to me, etc...
Author:  Conker [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 4:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
An action like that needs to be taken. Hard for me to say exactly what though. Maybe you could tell me more about her. Otherwise, we could throw out suggestions. Either way, you have to feel your way through the situation and do what you think is best based on any advice.

But the basic facts are - yes there's something between you two - yes she's got some kinda issue and is backing right out now after she's gotten so close because she is scared of being this close - and you can not call her out on her behaviour directly. Something like becoming distant would be the kind of in-direct action you'd want to take.

It's got to affect her emotionally. If you tried to "prove" she's attracted to you, by calling her out on things she's done (which is what guys like to do) - that's logic, not emotion, and it won't work, it'll actually have the opposite effect of what you want. Being distant to her, showing dis-interest, that's working with emotion. But being distant may not be the exact proper course, I can't say. Another emotional example is agreeing with her - yeah we're just friends. Being distant might be a better one though.
Author:  stanley91 [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 6:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hmm yeah you right, being distant... push and pull thing ;)

Hmm something more about her? What exactly? I can tell she acts like she wants to be an independent and stubborn to death person... I said 'she acts' because It is just an illusion she makes. She wants people to think about her like that. She is very ambitious and loves to challenge, that's why she is not an easy type...

You notice right, she seems like she is scared 'being that close'. Oh and what I did notice. If I want to meet, she don't say 'yes' immediately but some kind of 'We'll see...' you know what I mean...
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