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Problems getting physical...
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Author:  Gehenna [ Mon Nov 02, 2009 4:05 am ]
Post subject:  Problems getting physical...

I'm not talking small things like kino, or large things like sex. I have no problem touching someone nonchalantly when I talk to them. I have a problem once a relationship starts to develop. Things like holding hands, putting my arm around her, and things like that are what I have troubles with. I feel weird just reaching for someones hand to hold it for no obvious reason. I think it is the fear of her not knowing what it is that I am doing and thinking it is weird or something. Any advice?

Author:  Little Panda [ Mon Nov 02, 2009 11:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Problems getting physical...

Quote:
I'm not talking small things like kino, or large things like sex. I have no problem touching someone nonchalantly when I talk to them. I have a problem once a relationship starts to develop. Things like holding hands, putting my arm around her, and things like that are what I have troubles with. I feel weird just reaching for someones hand to hold it for no obvious reason. I think it is the fear of her not knowing what it is that I am doing and thinking it is weird or something. Any advice?
I used to have the same problem. You know what I did? I ignored my retarded fears and just did it.

And you know what? I've never experienced that a girl actually rejected me by saying things like "what are you doing?" or something similar. They also just go with the flow and let you do it.

Author:  marcotomas [ Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:01 am ]
Post subject: 

I've been there. For some reason it feels more natural when you first hookup (maybe that's cause there's often alcohol involved). But think of it this way: if she allowed you to touch her like that before and she's going on dates and hanging out with you after, you won't be catching her off guard by simply holding her hand or even just spontaneously grabbing her by the arm and pulling her in for a kiss. Women like that kind of stuff. So long as it's confident and natural, it shows that you are in control. Don't kill any previous momentum by being afraid to simply take her by the arm, hand etc.

Something that you need to remind yourself every time you see her (and even when you don't):

You are the man. Act like one and take charge.

Do like a football player before a big game. Listen to loud music, flex in front of the mirror, or simply do whatever you have to do to get you in the alpha male/confident state of mind because she won't find timidity cute or endearing. She'll find it pathetic.

Best of luck in the future.

Author:  V3nu [ Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:14 am ]
Post subject: 

By telling him to be a man, it won't really help him....I had the same problem especially going for the hand hold on Day 2, but what I did instead is to put my arm up and link arms, like you are just escorting her and it's considered more friendly and then throughout the day you can transition to hold handing, take the chance when you are crossing a road or pulling her somewhere, and just keep holding it.

But for the "putting the arm around her" you have to like her to do that, like you just gotta actually want to touch her, and feel good by putting your hand around her or hug her....

Cheers

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