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| Put myself in an akward situation with this girl. https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=53942 |
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| Author: | ATM16 [ Sat Oct 17, 2009 11:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Put myself in an akward situation with this girl. |
Really sorry for the length of this post but thought I should include all the details. Sorry if this is in the wrong part of the forum. I met this girl whose my mums friends daughter and we spent the day together a few weeks ago and talked all day. When we were speaking I found she was having troubles with her boyfriend but we didnt speak about that for to long and she changed the subject pretty quick. Anyway the night that we spent the day together we were sitting on the couch watching a movie and everytime i said something that amused her she would laugh and put her hand on my leg or if I playfully made fun of her she would playfully hit me. If I said something she liked she would rest her head on my shoulder for a few minutes and then we would go back to talking. I walk her home and we get to her door and I hug her goodnight and kiss her on the cheek and she looks me in the eyes and smiles and then shakes her head looks at the ground and says sorry I have a boyfriend I cant. So I say fine we should still hang out together coz I like her company and find her easy to talk to. last saturday she comes round to mines and we're watching a dvd we're sitting on the couch reasonably spaced apart but as the film goes on somehow we end up sitting close together. At one point I ask her if she was cold coz it was pretty cold and she says no and asks if I am and I say yeah my hands are a little cold. She takes one of my hands and feels it and then doesn't let it go. A few minutes go by and we're still holding hands and she moves her head down onto my shoulder and cuddles right in. I put my arm around her and we just sit and cuddle throughout the rest of the film and I tell her if she wasn't seeing someone I would have kissed her by now. I then asked her if she was comfortable and she replies yes. Anyways I don't go to kiss her coz she has a boyfriend so the film finishes and Im walking her home again and she says I dont make it easy for her to be around me. We get to her door and I hug her again and the same thing happens this time she looks at me and slaps my arm playfully and just says Stop it. I smile at her and say goodnight and kiss her on the cheek. I txt her the next day asking if she wants to go for a walk and she says yeah as long as you dont try anything?? At this point I got kinda annoyed coz to me it seemed like she was the one that initiated all the hand holding and cuddling and now she seems to be trying to blame it on me.I txt her back and told her that if she wanted to pretend that she was just being friends on saturday thats fine but I didn't want to be around her if she was going to do stuff like that. I then asked her "Truthfully did you want something to happen between us on saturday?" and she txts back saying "Your a great guy but I wouldn't let anything happen between us coz your not danny" (her boyfriend). I didnt txt her back and a week later she txt's me asking me how I am. I reply politely but keep it short. We txt each other a bit more and some how I end up caving and asking if she wants to go for a walk later on friday night. She says yeah. Friday comes and we walk and talk for about 2 hours and we're walking back to her place and she mentions that she's moving into her new place down the street on the saturday. I offer to help her move on the saturday and bring a couple of dvds to watch once we're done. She smiles and says "The boyfriend was meant to be helping me saturday night but he's going out drinking with his friends instead now." She knows how I feel about her at this point yet still wants to hang out with me and I tell her "I'm not going to be her stand in boyfriend when things aren't going well for her and I'd rather not see her than get stuck in the friend zone." Saturday night comes and we move all of her stuff and her mums stuff into there new place and we set up all the things in her room and the only bedding she has are two thin single mattresses. we set them up one on top of the other and lay down together to watch the films. Eventually the film finishes and we start talking and we end up kissing and fooling around for the rest of the night. (Kind of brutal that I spent the night with her and didnt f-close). The next morning we kiss goodbye and I txt her two days later to see if she wants to get together. She tells me that she cant be with me because she wants to work things out with her boyfriend but she still wants to hang out. I tell her that I want to be with her but I can't be friends with her. So far we have spoken only once and I cut the conversation short and we haven't spoken since. Now after reading some of the things on this forum I realised I was an AFC for some of the things I had done. I still think about her now and again and at the time when I stopped speaking to her I planned and bought her a bunch of presents for her birthday which isn't for another 2-3 weeks. I planned on not speaking to her and just dropping the gifts off at her house as a surprise. I know now after doing some reading on this forum that it wasn't the best of ideas. I have already started trying to move on etc and began working on approaching other women etc but I was just wondering if there is any advice I can get on this situation. Should I contact her before i give her these gifts or should I just drop them off and not speak to her for a while again and see what happens? Advice appreciated. |
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| Author: | mattarama [ Sun Oct 18, 2009 6:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
return the gifts. don't reward her for leading you on. in terms of this girl, she definitely isn't being completely satisfied with her current boyfriend, if you went for anything she probably would've cheated, but she has the decency to verbally decline that she would ever cheat at least. but yeah, birthday or not...no gifts. make a card, lol. |
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| Author: | ATM16 [ Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
The main gift that I got her cannot be returned which is kinda annoying after getting rid of the rest. Still have the card the main gift and a small gift. I had a letter written to which I'm def not giving her now as that would make me the biggest AFC on the planet. Should I just give her the gifts and break all ties after? Tryna get over this bad patch and get into gaming new women. Suggestions? |
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| Author: | Fin [ Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
She's into you, but she feels guilty about it. This is just a classic love triangle and she is feeling confused and torn. If she stays with her boy-friend, let her and leave it at that. But do not blame her for saying "You were hitting on me"; she wants you to take the responsibility. Why? 1. Becuase she is scared of feeling like she is "cheating". and 2. Your the FUCKING MAN! Seriously, as men we have to take responsibility for everything. It's an unfortunate social im-balance, but it's also the way Alpha males work, as an alpha male and theirfore as leader of the interactions you are to assume responsibility for what does or does not happen. 3. You have feelings for her is that right? So why wouldn't you want to get her something for her birthday? Give what you can give, you don't need to be petty and vindictive, you had fun, it's a pity it couldn't lead further so let it rest at that. No need to fret, give what you want to give, be simple visit her on her birthday give what you want, then when your ready... move on. |
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