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Im in friends zone, but think she acts strange
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Author:  Matte [ Tue Oct 13, 2009 9:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Im in friends zone, but think she acts strange
Hej guys
New here.

Long story short, been hanging a while with this girl. Stuff like walk on the beach, dinner out etc. All the time, she has shown a lot of interest in me, I have not chased her at any time, I know she likes me and (was?) attracted. Anyway, I ended up in the friends zone, I guess out of rejection fear. So thats a fact :(

I realized this a couple of weeks ago when she did not repsond to a text. Before that she had always responded quickly, and I could senze this was intentional. The days after she was very keen on getting in tuch but I did a freeze out and just ingored her attempts. .. She kept on looking my way, talking loud so I shall notice her, more or less craving my attention. I just smiled but did nothing else. We´have been in tuch on MSN but I keep my stuff short.

Now she dates this other guy. But she keeps on contacting me? Showing up every now and then, MSN etc. Not extremly much, but still. Last week she suddenly suggested lunch (had then not met just the two of us for approx 2 weeks). She did this by saying: "if not xxx (guys name) show up for lunch tody, perhaps we can have lunch? I asked who this guy was. And she said "a guy I date", and then: "oh now you went all quiet".

I declined lunch with a smile and suggested she have lunch with the date. Said i'm not her stand in. But she insisted, suggesting like 3-4 different timings, and eventually we met a couple of days later for lunch. She asked me if I was dating, how i was, bla bla, and told me about that guy (so very much in friend zone).

What I cant get is why she 'presents' her date (dating) to me like that? If we are just friends, no need to do the "oh now you went all quiet". I just senze there is someting else her, like she is checking where she stands with me. Wanting me to react to the fact that she has a date. Had that guy been great, why bothter telling me? Or is this just part of the friendzone ?

tnks
Author:  Millstone [ Wed Oct 14, 2009 3:34 am ]
Post subject: 
Be the prize amigo, have you taken the Styles Life Challenge yet?
Author:  RickyIZboss [ Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
whats the styles life challenge?
Author:  Matte [ Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Man, I need to understand this, help here please anyone?

Things have developed, she is seeing some guy and that appears to be going well for her... BUT she keeps seeking attention from me, even though I basically freeze her out.

I just don't get that, why keep on given this guy? For example teasing a me a little, seeking contact without any 'reson' etc?

And this is a girl who by the way was quite up front with that she "does not let anyone get too close" because she does not want her feelings hurt. That has to have been a way for here to say "no", I just missed it. Right?

Someone?
Author:  Millstone [ Tue Oct 20, 2009 2:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
whats the styles life challenge?
Alright go to Barnes and Nobles and get yourself The stylelife challenge by Neil Strauss. I can tell it'll most likely open your eyes up.

Look up swinggcats audio course also, it sounds like you need to be introduced to the concept of prizability
Author:  Qlass [ Tue Oct 20, 2009 3:34 am ]
Post subject: 
Matte,

I'm going to be honest with you here - this girl sounds like bad news. Why? Because she seems somewhat unstable.

I'm going to make an unreasonable assumption and believe that everything about your story is 100% objective and accurate (which is impossible by nature of being human). But under this assumption I wonder if this girl even HAS a boyfriend. Have you met him? Because so much of this sounds like she's doing this JUST to make you jealous. You did right by refusing to be the stand-in, and the fact that she PERSISTED and basically shoved the idea of lunch down your throat means she's clearly still interested. Sounds like this new guy is the dud.

But I wonder, if she's this needy OUTSIDE of a relationship, playing mind-games to make you jealous, how insane would she be IN a relationship. Do you want that? Or are you just in it for something more... physical?

Anyway. If she's only been seeing this guy a few weeks it's still fair game. But try to find out more about him. Though I've never tested this, from what i understand the more YOU think her b/f is cool, the less she will. LoL. Go figure.

Q.
Author:  Kieran Black [ Tue Oct 20, 2009 5:57 am ]
Post subject: 
Matte one important thing to recognise as a PUA is when a girl is 'gaming you'.

She has tried putting herself in romantic situations with you, but you did nothing.

She has tried 'freezing' 'you' out, but you did nothing.

She has tried giving you 'the eye' but you did nothing.

And now she is trying to make 'you' jealous by putting another guy in the scene (she's clearly interested in you more) AND YOU ARE STILL DOING NOTHING!

This poor girl has tried every feminem trick in the book on you and YOUR STILL NOT MAKING A MOVE! Do you even realise how frustrated you would be making her right now?

Wake up dude, make your move now or she is going to give up on you and considering the effort she has put into getting you she will probably end up somewhat resentful towards you, so it won't be a friendship to last anyhow.
Author:  Matte [ Wed Oct 21, 2009 3:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks guys, good stuff!

I agree "i did nothing". I know where I did wrong. And I also agree she is probably not so stable.

But still, I dont really follow your thoughts...

Cause don't forget I was put in the LJBF-zone... So she is not into me like before. Im sure of the LJBF. For example: I listened to her problems a lot (so stupid, never do that!), was there for her during a difficult period (father having drinking problems bla bla). Classic stuff. And she was even trying to "find" a good girl for me (girls we both know)...

And the non-answer of that text happened when she was starting dating this guy. I think he exists, she has a heart now on her MSN - and its not for me, thats for sure.

Was that not why she wanted that lunch so badly, to "explain"?

So what I still wonder, what I can't understand - and why I'm writing this messege, is WHY she keeps in contact like this? why?

Has to be that she "misses her friend"? I have high status in this environment we interact in. But she KNOWS that I wanted more...

Anyway, I just shut her out now and move on.
Author:  Kieran Black [ Wed Oct 21, 2009 11:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hmm she sounds like she could be a bit of a sucubus. Wants to have her cake and eat it too kind of thing. If you want to be with her I suggest you just make a move, and if she doesn't go for it then you have just saved yourself alot of potential heartbreak with her stringing you along and keeping you guessing for who knows how long.

This case reminds me of a girl in high school, I ended up fucking her for awhile in the end but prior to that she would give me all sorts of mixed messages and she went out with one of my friends and it got really messy because she would always complain about him to me and always flirt with me heaps when I was around her. errch messy situation. Two years later I still get random calls for her wanting to catch up, even though every time I talk to her I tell her shes a nutcase and that I just dont want to see her.

Are you sure your even 'that' into this girl? From what your telling me even if you got her it doesn't sound like she would make you happy.
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