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Vulnerbility
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Author:  Mingeee [ Mon Oct 05, 2009 2:58 am ]
Post subject:  Vulnerbility

Hi guys. I think I am having a problem laying myself on the line and becoming vulnerable.

Im also having mid game problems. Expecially interesting conversations.

Anything wouldhelp thanks

Author:  [Vegas] [ Mon Oct 05, 2009 3:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Vulnerbility

Quote:
Hi guys. I think I am having a problem laying myself on the line and becoming vulnerable.
I'd like to help you but I don't know what you mean by laying yourself on the line. What is it and how do you think you do it? As for being vulnerable, vulnerable to what?
Quote:
Im also having mid game problems. Expecially interesting conversations.
What parts, aside from conversation, are you having trouble with. If you wouldn't mind expanding on this I'll try to help you out. As for the conversing part, here is a quote from something I posted a while back in a similar question:
Quote:
Well if the conversation begins to go dull or I see her attention is starting to be else where, I'll just keep it simple and say, "So tell me a story". She'll usually say "what?", "a story?", or "okay, about what?". No matter her response, I'll immediately follow it with "What's the craziest thing you've ever done?". I emphasize the word craziest when I say it too. Tease her about it or whatever it is you feel like doing after. This just allows you to take control of the conversation and it puts her in the mindset of being "that wild/adventurous girl" that you know she is at heart.
Anyways, hope that helped, and if you do expand on what you mean I'll try to help you out some more.

Author:  Havok123 [ Mon Oct 05, 2009 3:56 am ]
Post subject: 

I know what you mean here bro, a lot of guys who get caught up in the community lead a social life full of negs and bullshit. you need to learn to put your guard down and learn to be the real you... the open but "strong" you.

A woman emotionally needs a man who can control his emotions. This attraction switch is amplified when you make it blatantly clear that you are choosing to do this with and only her. Whether thats a lie or not is on you, but It sounds like your talking deep with this woman.

There is nothing wrong with being "vulnerable" just understand that until the day you die, women are going to test your masculinity and your vulnerability. Think of them like the Zen master who is always there to make sure you are FULLY aware of your surroundings... its a beautiful thing actually. Women need reassurance other than asking, that you are a strong man and that you are an emotional man... she does this to fill her need for connection. If she can get this from you, she feels more like she can trust you and is more able to open up to you and let you lead the relationship, cause you are a man.

Example... why do women find musicians so sexy? They are STRONG but Vulnerable at the same time... there is a big diff from just being a pussy. Learn it or you may be beatin your meat with your tears as lubricant. But I doubt your that kinda guy... I had to learn this within the past 2 years... keep us posted as to what you find/try!!

Author:  Mingeee [ Fri Oct 23, 2009 6:16 pm ]
Post subject: 

just to keep you guys updated. Im still having a problem with pulling the trigger. I know it has alot to do with being vulnerable (if you guys understand). Laying myself on the line is hard because im very defensive.

Other then that. I have pretty much done what Braddock has told me and I have been networking like crazy with girls. I have been #closing and getting buzz like crazy. I want to take my game to the next level.

Any other tips you guys can give me? this is specific to college game.

Author:  Mingeee [ Fri Oct 23, 2009 6:22 pm ]
Post subject: 

To vegas:

I dont really know how to explain it. HAvok seems to understand what I am talking about though. Iono if it's because you are in to more structured gaming. But Im not a fan of structured gaming (ie Attraction phase, seductoin phase, and the Close). Im very into Natural gaming. This is more of a natural emotion that I go into a defensive mode because Im scared to let this girl become part of my life. I am also scared of denial. Its become so habitual that I dont even think about it anymore.

Author:  Mingeee [ Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:03 am ]
Post subject: 

bump

Author:  [Vegas] [ Fri Oct 30, 2009 7:23 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
To vegas:

I dont really know how to explain it. HAvok seems to understand what I am talking about though. Iono if it's because you are in to more structured gaming. But Im not a fan of structured gaming (ie Attraction phase, seductoin phase, and the Close). Im very into Natural gaming. This is more of a natural emotion that I go into a defensive mode because Im scared to let this girl become part of my life. I am also scared of denial. Its become so habitual that I dont even think about it anymore.
I use natural game as well... I'm not into hardcore following methods and using formulas or whatever.

The part that I bolded is what I was looking for when I asked what you meant by vulnerable. I can understand what you mean because I have somewhat similar tendencies. I pick up girls, but I don't further our relationships because I feel like I also get 'defensive'. I don't fear relationships per se considering I used to be a dating type of guy, but lately I just get a feeling when a girl and I get close I clam up. I push them away and I move on. I don't particularly like doing that, it just happens naturally.

The first step to solving any 'problem' is understanding it. It seems like you are able to pin point your vulnerabilities and that's good; there is nothing wrong with having vulnerabilities or emotion at all. It's just a matter of when to show them and when not to. People are naturally curious and 'fear' the unknown. The only way to figure out the unknown is to experience it and find out.

If you don't mind me asking, what is it about letting a girl become a part of your life that scares you? Do you have a particular girl in mind? Has anything happened in the past that causes you to not want a girl to get close to you... like something that caused distrust?

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