My 2 current sticking points...
First one: I am overly cocky/funny. Girls become intimidated by me (some are even afraid to say anything else, lol) because I can be that brutally teasing. It's never mean, they always laugh, but I'm a better looking dude who dresses well, pretty tall, with the body language etc., so that all mixed together and I can kinda understand it.
What usually happens is I'll get attraction, but instead of shifting into value demonstrating and connecting, I'll keep going with the cocky/funny because I either a) don't want to lose my frame as the cocky/funny, "jeez, you're such a dork" persona b)don't know how to go from that frame to value/connection (it's probably a combo of both).
What do you guys think?
And second, and this likely has something to do with the first, I see EVERYTHING as a shit-test. I get that it likely in early in the game, but even when I'm in, I still validate almost nothing about her.
Prime example, HB8.5 from last night. I really like her, cool girl. We met last Saturday and she brought me back to her place. We're in her basement hooking up, and I stop it from escalating all the way (what I do with girls I want to make long-term. I told her "we should take it slow, because I think you kinda like me and we shouldn't mess with that (lol)).
We text all week, make plans, she flakes, then calls me to make plans the next day, I cheerily oblige, then flake on her, so last night, we finally meet up at the bar, later in the night, about a half an hour before closing time, she finds me, jumps in my arms, etc, then immediately goes, "I'm going to dance."
My immediate thought is this is a test (why do I see everything as a test ?!?!) and don't follow her out there. Her best friend was right there though (who I disarmed last Saturday) so I talk to her for a sec. I told her I remember her name and give her a big hug, and then she tells me she feels bad (with a smile) because she wouldn't remember my name, EXCEPT for the fact HB8.5 has been talking about me NON-STOP all week.
She then tells me she's leaving and "Have fun with HB8.5. Just make sure she gets home safe."
I find HB8.5 a few minutes later, and she's being kinda accosted by an old bf/hookup of hers (wtf, my luck). So, I immediately AMOG him a little, say what's up with a nice ol' hard slap on the back, and then go, "hey man, I gotta talk to HB 8.5 for a second" as I pull her away to the other side of the bar.
We're sitting down, kino'ing and flirting, and then she says her ex-whatever standing by the door, all alone, looking like a fucking dweeb, and says, "I have to go talk to him for a second." So I'm just like "OK, whatever."
She leaves, I start talking up the people near me, then 3 minutes later I get a text saying that she just left with the ex-dweeb and he's walking her back to her place (just a few minutes away). She then says "Call me now."
Before I say what I did, how do YOU respond to that?
All I'll say for now is I didn't f-close (or even end up seeing her last night) and I didn't call her either because I felt like "Call me" was some type of validation-bullshit I didn't want to give into (plus she may/may not have been with this loser).
Break me down and build me up
Thanks in advance.
-WorkEthic