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Trial Rejections? (Game Girls Seem to Run On Me)
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Author:  osa [ Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Trial Rejections? (Game Girls Seem to Run On Me)
I've had something (bad) happen a coupla times the last few months of meeting women. I'll be dating a girl, and things will be going pretty well. Somewhere after the first date, but before the third. The part where you're talking/texting basically daily, and you're starting to feel each other out to see if you'd make a good couple.

Suddenly she'll bust out with something like:

"I'm feeling a like I have a lot on my plate right; maybe this isn't a good time to be getting into something"
or the proverbial "lets just be friends."

Yet, in my mind I'm thinking, she doesnt really mean it. Maybe she's just testing me, to see how I'll react. Just the day before she was calling me sweet names and we were throwing around vague plans of taking trips together, etc, so I know she was feeling me.

Problem is, so far I generally fail the test. That's because

a) I handle rejection pretty poorly, and it shows
b) Flaky girls drive me batty

In the latest case, I got a text message from this girl I had been dating. it said something like "this isn't going to work. I'm feeling overwhelmed with things, so we can be just friends if you want."

my first text response was "what?"

then a second later I wrote again "Whatever. Flaky girls are a huge turn off for me, so, if that's how you are, then just leave me be. Bye."

she replied "ok then."

I probably should have just left it at that. Against my better judgment, I wrote again "You're being dumb. We have a good thing going on, maybe even love."

well she didnt like that

she responded "dumb? don't disrespect me again. now its 100% over. Be an adult."

I responded "don't act tuff. You're acting flaky and I called you out on it. But there's a million girls who can play your position."

she responded "ok. dont text me anymore."

------

so, now, its looks like its really done. And yet the whole thing felt like a stupid test that I failed, that she was only breaking up with me temporarily cause she was on the rag or something.

I need a better strategy. And probably better inner game. I know, when a rejection comes, I make the one girl way too important, instead of thinking in abundance. But those are my patterns.
Author:  noiss [ Fri Aug 28, 2009 9:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Trial Rejections? (Game Girls Seem to Run On Me)
Quote:
I've had something (bad) happen a coupla times the last few months of meeting women. I'll be dating a girl, and things will be going pretty well. Somewhere after the first date, but before the third. The part where you're talking/texting basically daily, and you're starting to feel each other out to see if you'd make a good couple.

Suddenly she'll bust out with something like:

"I'm feeling a like I have a lot on my plate right; maybe this isn't a good time to be getting into something"
or the proverbial "lets just be friends."

Yet, in my mind I'm thinking, she doesnt really mean it. Maybe she's just testing me, to see how I'll react. Just the day before she was calling me sweet names and we were throwing around vague plans of taking trips together, etc, so I know she was feeling me.

Problem is, so far I generally fail the test. That's because

a) I handle rejection pretty poorly, and it shows
b) Flaky girls drive me batty

In the latest case, I got a text message from this girl I had been dating. it said something like "this isn't going to work. I'm feeling overwhelmed with things, so we can be just friends if you want."

my first text response was "what?"

then a second later I wrote again "Whatever. Flaky girls are a huge turn off for me, so, if that's how you are, then just leave me be. Bye."

she replied "ok then."

I probably should have just left it at that. Against my better judgment, I wrote again "You're being dumb. We have a good thing going on, maybe even love."

well she didnt like that

she responded "dumb? don't disrespect me again. now its 100% over. Be an adult."

I responded "don't act tuff. You're acting flaky and I called you out on it. But there's a million girls who can play your position."

she responded "ok. dont text me anymore."

------

so, now, its looks like its really done. And yet the whole thing felt like a stupid test that I failed, that she was only breaking up with me temporarily cause she was on the rag or something.

I need a better strategy. And probably better inner game. I know, when a rejection comes, I make the one girl way too important, instead of thinking in abundance. But those are my patterns.
Ouch :/ Yeah... you pretty much shot your chances there >< Fortunately I have a future solution for you which derives from MM and has proven itself to work for me as well.

Here's a fake scenario:
Quote:
HB: this isn't going to work. I'm feeling overwhelmed with things, so we can be just friends if you want.

PUA: Oh wow, I'm so happy you said that. I feel EXACTLY the same way because of *insert reason here*.

HB: Surprised reaction

PUA: *continues gaming like those texts never happened*
Do you get the gist? The idea is to not be bothered by what the girl said and turn it back on here to make it seem as if she is loosing out. The best (imo) way is to complement it by mentioning some other girl that you're into and blaming it on her.

Good luck,
Author:  osa [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 12:17 am ]
Post subject: 
Hmm, that sounds like it could work.

The part about "continue gaming as if it never happened" seems counter-intuitive. You'd think the next step would be to give her space for a few hours/days, etc...which by the way I am also bad at.
Author:  noiss [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 8:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Hmm, that sounds like it could work.

The part about "continue gaming as if it never happened" seems counter-intuitive. You'd think the next step would be to give her space for a few hours/days, etc...which by the way I am also bad at.
You could do that if you'd like, but I could imagine that she might loose interest then. Just speaking from experience the above has worked quite well for me (although I've only been put in a situation like this once before so on the contrary I haven't tried anything else either). If you continue gaming like nothing has happened (imo) you're giving her another chance to go for you despite you quite obviously telling her that she doesn't have one hence the "little kid rule" applies (Kids want what they can't have / what has been taken away from them).

If you do decide to give some space I'd suggest not letting it go too long since (especially the higher value the girl has) think about if it happened to you. If some girl started hitting on you and then gave you a clear IOD and ignored you for a few days I think you'd already be hitting on a new girl or have forgotten her which in turn would be negative for revival.

When it comes to giving girls space I know how that feels. It's especially hard when you have a temporary one-itis but the best way to fight the urge of talking to her is to either go out, sarge and occupy yourself with some other girls OR if for some reason you can't sarge I'd say masturbate. And yes, I know what you are thinking. Most PUA's suggest that masturbating should be curved in order to be able to fully focus on the game and although I do agree with that, I also think that if you anyways aren't going to be gaming for a few days, by masturbating you are relinquishing yourself of sexual urges which basically is the fundamental drive for you wanting to re-initiate with the first girl.


Hope that made sense and good luck ;)
Author:  Henley [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 3:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ouch, thats a stinger. I liked the flaky thing but i think you over-egged with follow up text. This is always the part where i lose half of my pulls.

This sort of stuff happens with girls who dont like to think they are looking for a fella, obviously she thought you guys were going too fast if that was between your 1st and 3rd date. Unless when you were joking about trips you were doing the Hire/Fire routine she obviously took your game way too seriously and wanted to see whether you were going to smother her. I like the fake scenario posted by Noiss, basically passing her test and then making her qualify herself to you. I think I'll be using that next time. Cheers.

In terms of space, I'd just knock it down to a casual date, organising according to how well you pass the test. One i'm working on at the moment is employing girls (jokingly) as an interior designer for my new place or newly decorated room, not letting them see the room before and after, but then getting them back for a follow-up date for the evaluation of how i got on without her. Obviously you wont get to try it on this girl, but from my excursions it has worked quite well as a 2nd/3rd date.

Good luck,

Henley
Author:  osa [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 3:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
thanks guys
Author:  Jaybot [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 5:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
You are being too needy, in every action ask what would you do if you have 6 girlfriends. WOuld you have so much time to text her.

Personally I hate phones and generally tlaking to people when not in person. I may give you a 3 text per day limit. Any more and it looks like your life is empty and she is becoming your life, all symptoms of a clingy guy. So I expect they see this and jump ship.


Also you are going to need to sort your inner game rejection is nothing, you seem clingy (I pick it up by one message, how many times do you text these women?). Then you will get less flakey women.


As a final sprinkle of hope why not jsut keep things casual, sometimes they just want to hang out and fuck as much as you, so you know ask them. Then you may get to the beautiful stage of friends with benefits (I wish I had a choir/organ behind that and a giant spotlight, yummy) anyways back to what I was tlaking about.

Less clingyness, more inner game work, less texts, more casual sex

bisous x
Author:  Caillou [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 6:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Reading from your post I think it makes sense that you're just texting/talking with whoever too much. There comes a point where it comes off as not having a life of your own. I had the same problem BIG time before man, and I still have it to some extent.

Just focus on other aspects of your life, never NEVER should you need someone else in your life to constantly talk to. I'm sure you're a normal guy with other hobbies, always hold priority on those above some girl who you've taken out 2 or 3 times.

Hell it's true... distance brings you closer.
Author:  Caillou [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 6:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Reading from your post I think it makes sense that you're just texting/talking with whoever too much. There comes a point where it comes off as not having a life of your own. I had the same problem BIG time before man, and I still have it to some extent.

Just focus on other aspects of your life, never NEVER should you need someone else in your life to constantly talk to. I'm sure you're a normal guy with other hobbies, always hold priority on those above some girl who you've taken out 2 or 3 times.

Hell it's true... distance brings you closer.
Author:  osa [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 10:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
thanks for the feedback. two things.

a) where can one work on inner game for clinginess? i know in the psychological fields they call the same idea "codependence," the idea of requiring of a person more than what they can give you. short of doing therapy (I dont place much stock in the psychological community), what are some ways I can deal with that?

b) is there any way I can run this similar type game on girls, as a push/pull device? whatever they're doing seems to work on me, I'd like to learn to do it back 8)
Author:  Henley [ Sun Aug 30, 2009 1:12 am ]
Post subject: 
a) i'd suggest sharking till you have multiple girls on the go at the same time, this way you dont have to worry if some flake, also you will spread out your time by seeing them; individually they will see you as less needy. Once you get a HB8+ dont give up and focus on her, rack up more until you cant handle it, the YOU can pick or choose. That is pretty much standard game. One-itis is hard to overcome for us AFC's, especially when they are tight (HB9+)

b) from previous experience direct testing like what this girl did to you can be risky. definitely do not do it in a text anyway. you need to be more subtle. eg. if you feel it got a bit too intimate on 1st/2nd date and you might smother her knock it down to her meeting up with you a mate/mates in a casual/distracting setting (here i mean non-flashy bars for casual or shopping for distracting for you) setting so she has to work for your attention and further spare time; whilst you demonstrate higher value by reminiscing etc with the friend. other than that i dont like commit to staling and blurring with a girl within 4 meetings unless she does with me. I act interested and willing but also distracted/busy, early on, girls like to feel like they're in control, so let them.

i hope this works for you, for me this is still very much an uncertain part of my game. I'm still getting mixed results!
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