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[Queston] How to deal with girls who talk about THEIR probs?
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Author:  noiss [ Thu Aug 20, 2009 6:05 pm ]
Post subject:  [Queston] How to deal with girls who talk about THEIR probs?
Hey guys, first post here and I have a question for you all. I tend to get women complaining to me about their problems quite often, and not only is it unattractive but it's also annoying as I never know what to answer to the things that they say. For instance they'll say something DLV about themselves or tell me about boring problems I don't give a rats ass about. Any advice as to how I could tackle these moments?

Thanks beforehand <3
Author:  sorin93 [ Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:04 am ]
Post subject: 
i have the same problem with my female friends that i don't game.
i guess it means they trust us
i'm not an expert on this but i guess you could just say something like "there's always someone who is worse off" and then change the subject into something positive
Author:  Kalel [ Fri Aug 21, 2009 7:20 am ]
Post subject: 
I've always assumed one of two things when that happens.

A) Its a test to see if she can rattle me with the "real her". If I catch a glimpse of the "real her" and freak out even in a subtle way, she will determine that we aren't a good match because I might reject her in the future once I get to know the "real her" better. This usually comes from really insecure girls, basically anytime when the girl perceives you as being too good for her or too good to be true.

B) I am in the friends zone and therefore she has no reason to impress or entice me. Therefore she can dlv all she wants because she is not worried about losing me; the interaction is not about impressing me, its all about her and her problems.

Either way, leading is the answer. Don't let her constantly lead the conversation, just because it's easier to listen than to talk. Talk about what you want to talk about. Segue into whatever you want. Don't think that having a conversation is about pleasing her. Think about it like playing a game. Both people should enjoy it. If it's only fun for one person, it gets lame pretty quick for both people. Bring some of your own life and energy into the conversation.
Author:  Foundation [ Fri Aug 21, 2009 10:38 am ]
Post subject: 
David deangelo says "let her problems be her problems"

Ask yourself: "Is she really gana talk about her problems with the guy she wanna gana have seks with?"

Its no no no no! she uses buddy's for that so she can have some fun with a outlaw biker. If your not in a committed relationship there is no reason to waste time on this. (You gotta keep this relative: once every 7-10 meetings is okay, more is friendszone)
Author:  noiss [ Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I've always assumed one of two things when that happens.

A) Its a test to see if she can rattle me with the "real her". If I catch a glimpse of the "real her" and freak out even in a subtle way, she will determine that we aren't a good match because I might reject her in the future once I get to know the "real her" better. This usually comes from really insecure girls, basically anytime when the girl perceives you as being too good for her or too good to be true.

B) I am in the friends zone and therefore she has no reason to impress or entice me. Therefore she can dlv all she wants because she is not worried about losing me; the interaction is not about impressing me, its all about her and her problems.

Either way, leading is the answer. Don't let her constantly lead the conversation, just because it's easier to listen than to talk. Talk about what you want to talk about. Segue into whatever you want. Don't think that having a conversation is about pleasing her. Think about it like playing a game. Both people should enjoy it. If it's only fun for one person, it gets lame pretty quick for both people. Bring some of your own life and energy into the conversation.
Quote:
David deangelo says "let her problems be her problems"

Ask yourself: "Is she really gana talk about her problems with the guy she wanna gana have seks with?"

Its no no no no! she uses buddy's for that so she can have some fun with a outlaw biker. If your not in a committed relationship there is no reason to waste time on this. (You gotta keep this relative: once every 7-10 meetings is okay, more is friendszone)
Thanks for the advice guys. In this specific situation it's "A)" that has occurred and that does explain it quite well. So far what I usually say is "Oh HB, don't be so hard on yourself, that's what I'm for! *new topic*". Any feedback on that specific line? I guess I need to stop finding insecure girls ^^.
Author:  Abdul-aAfc [ Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Tell her she's lucky her problems are so simple because yours are more complex. OR you could say "Hold on there i don't even know you that well and already you are telling me all you issues save it for later"
Author:  Workaholic [ Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
David deangelo says "let her problems be her problems"

Ask yourself: "Is she really gana talk about her problems with the guy she wanna gana have seks with?"

Its no no no no! she uses buddy's for that so she can have some fun with a outlaw biker. If your not in a committed relationship there is no reason to waste time on this. (You gotta keep this relative: once every 7-10 meetings is okay, more is friendszone)
Quote:
I am in the friends zone and therefore she has no reason to impress or entice me. Therefore she can dlv all she wants because she is not worried about losing me; the interaction is not about impressing me, its all about her and her problems.
These guy's hit a home run!

It is true, this is how guys go straight into the friend zone, she see's you as someone to dump all her shit on, and most beta's will sit there nod their head and not get a word in edge ways the name for this type of person:

AN EMOTIONAL TAMPON

They have their girl mates to go out shopping, get there nails done and buy a new tight outfit when they feel down and can bitch to there friends for that.
Quote:
Tell her she's lucky her problems are so simple because yours are more complex
This guy striked out, yes you are trying to be creative so marks for that, but this is a girl who is opening up her problems only for you to ignore her and talk about yours, not to mention NO girl wants to here you have problems, every thing should be going swift in your life or you will just receive pity and sympathy and girls don't guilt fuck as much as people who have their shit together.
Quote:
stop finding insecure girls
When you find these let me know private message me!

Q: Do you build attraction with these girls? As this would spare you the emotional rainstorm that you have been in.
Author:  Kalel [ Sat Aug 22, 2009 1:00 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
So far what I usually say is "Oh HB, don't be so hard on yourself, that's what I'm for! *new topic*". Any feedback on that specific line?
I don't use any specific line, but what I do is relate her problem with something or someone in my life.

Example:
HB: I'm fighting with my sister.
Me: Yeah, I use to fight with my siblings all the time, we always ended up working things out though.

HB: I have too much pressure from school and work.
ME: Yeah it can get overwhelming, but what I do is take it one step at a time.

or use someone else.
HB: I'm fighting with my sister.
Me: Yeah, my buddy fights with his sister all the time too, but I can tell they still love each other.

HB: I have too much pressure from school and work.
ME: Yeah, my cousin works 8 hour shifts and goes to work full time, I think it's too much for him, but he seems to handle it.

The idea is that you don't need to give any advice at all. She doesn't really want to you to resolve or fix anything for her, she just wants you to acknowledge, understand, and accept her. By relating her problems to things or persons in your own life, you are basically letting her know that such things don't freak you out because they already exist in your life. In this way she doesn't feel like she would be burdening you with her problems if she entered your life, and therefore would be less fearful of doing so.
Quote:
I guess I need to stop finding insecure girls ^^.
All girls are insecure about something in their life, some just deal with it better than others. I doubt if you are looking for insecure girls. They probably just find you, because you project a safe and caring attitude toward them. Also you might just be pursuing women at a slightly lower level than you deserve (in terms of a superficial sense of value), without realizing it. Women are often reluctant to date a guy who is "out of their league", they don't think they deserve it.
Author:  Lodewijkp [ Sat Aug 22, 2009 7:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
1. girls who start about their problems have alot of baggage ( without C-4 i hope)
2. girls who do that are insecure, they are easy to manipulate
3. when she spills her problems over you it means she trusts you - meaning your in comfort zone, you are stuck in the friendship zone unless you reframe her conversation about her problems and make the conversation fun.

as now

you are her winegum eating buddy , emotional tampon - when she meets another guy she will feel good and throw you away - cause she won't be menstruating anymore.

just tell her to stfu in a nice context, tell her her problems aren't that bad and she needs to grow up. use her problems to look '' mature '' etc suck it up bitch.
by keep being her emotional tampon you get stuck and stuck more, just stop her of spilling her baggage over you.

all girls are problems some more then others, she is defenitly one that haz alot of insecurities.

don't talk about your problems when she does ! it's a hoop !.

to create attraction

1 you first need to look/ be alpha
2 you don't take shit from other people and don't care
3 your unpredictable
4 your fun - emotional stimulating
5 you are DHV
6 you never chase , people chase you
7 above all you have no problems

read a book about attraction, attraction is the most important stage

and guilt fucking is dumb , only retards do that


if you think about what do.... go stand in front of the mirror and unzip your pants.. grab your penis and swirl it around- thats how you need to treat her
Author:  noiss [ Sun Aug 23, 2009 1:31 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Q: Do you build attraction with these girls? As this would spare you the emotional rainstorm that you have been in.
Indeed I do. I tend to get this from girls during day2's and after (at the very least) a kiss close.
Quote:
All girls are insecure about something in their life, some just deal with it better than others. I doubt if you are looking for insecure girls. They probably just find you, because you project a safe and caring attitude toward them. Also you might just be pursuing women at a slightly lower level than you deserve (in terms of a superficial sense of value), without realizing it. Women are often reluctant to date a guy who is "out of their league", they don't think they deserve it.
Well that's always nice to hear :) To be completely honest, although I don't feel 100% secure about my game (I've just recently started gaming) I do feel 100% secure about the fact that I can take home any girl I want when I'm out. Because of this I doubt that I actually go for lower value women, but who knows - maybe I do subconsciously? The girl that prompted me to create this thread was a HB7, so I guess that's relatively low.

Incase anyone is interested in knowing, I've only been gaming for about two weeks now (although I had my first introduction to the subject around a year ago). I've always considered myself a natural when it comes to women and decided to take up gaming as a means to analyze and perfect my subconscious game. It's actually quite funny though as since I started gaming my results have been much worse then before... but hopefully it's just a bump in the road to improved game.
Quote:
1 you first need to look/ be alpha
2 you don't take shit from other people and don't care
3 your unpredictable
4 your fun - emotional stimulating
5 you are DHV
6 you never chase , people chase you
7 above all you have no problems
1,2,3,4,6 - Check! I've always possessed those qualities 5 I've never done (consciously) and for 7, I do have problems just like everybody else does. I don't however talk about them.
Author:  Kalel [ Sun Aug 23, 2009 7:40 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Well that's always nice to hear :) To be completely honest, although I don't feel 100% secure about my game (I've just recently started gaming) I do feel 100% secure about the fact that I can take home any girl I want when I'm out. Because of this I doubt that I actually go for lower value women, but who knows - maybe I do subconsciously? The girl that prompted me to create this thread was a HB7, so I guess that's relatively low.
Well I could be wrong. Another thing that is possible is that you are subconsciously looking for damaged women, whom you can fix/save. I went through a phase like that too. I remember I used to attract damaged women like a magnet. But I realized it's because back then, I didn't see a place in a woman's life for me unless I had something about her to fix or help with. That was one of the main reasons I got into pickup, to get over that tendency.
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