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| Let a cutie slip away...analyzing what I did wrong... https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=45807 |
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| Author: | Dr. Gruuve [ Tue May 26, 2009 2:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Let a cutie slip away...analyzing what I did wrong... |
OK, so I was in a bar checking out a band. I was standing at the bar, had just gotten a beer, and lit up a smoke. After a couple minutes, an HB8 comes up beside me at the bar, puts an unlit cigarette in her mouth, then asks me "Do you have a light?" I said "Sure", pulled out my lighter and lit her cigarette. She then said "What are you smoking?" (A question I get quite a bit.) I told her "It's a mild tobacco and a little bit of clove...it's very sweet." She said "Oh, I don't like those...but you can smoke it anyway". [I saw this as a shit-test..."will he put it out if he thinks I don't like it?".] I said "Well, if I'm gonna smoke, I'm gonna smoke something I really like." This was intended as a response to the shit-test to imply "I don't care if you like them or not". She looked at me...I said "You want to try one?" She said "Let me have a drag off yours." [I saw this as me passing the shit-test and getting her to jump through one of my hoops...she was now trying something she just said she didn't like.] I handed her my cigarette and she took a drag...I looked at her eyes and lips while she took a drag, she handed it back to me and said "Actually, that's pretty good...it IS sweet." Then we looked each other in the eyes for a long second...my eyes bounced down to her lips and back to her eyes. My instincts said "Lean forward and kiss her!", but I let my AFC'ness rule me and did not do it. [Kicking myself now...I think I need to just follow my instincts more. For whatever reason, I *felt like* I had an open invite from her.] Then I said "What are you up to tonight?" She said "Here with some friends". We stood there for a second and both of us looked back toward the band, then she said "I gotta go" and took off. So, I got the feeling that she was looking to hook-up or at least meet someone. I think I screwed it up with my AFC'ness. I'm trying to analyze what I did wrong so I can learn from it...here's some thoughts: - I think my biggest mistake was not kissing her when I felt the urge to do so...that might have turned the whole night around. Thoughts? - After she said "I've gotta go" and went to rejoin her friends, I'm wondering what I should have done. Probably waited a few mins (hit the restroom or something), then approached her in her group. Or was it already too late to salvage at that point? On the good side, I think I responded well to her shit-test, if that's indeed what it was. Women open me quite a bit...I've got to get better at capitalizing on that! Thanks for any comments, Gruuve |
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| Author: | Dano [ Tue May 26, 2009 7:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I don't think you should blame yourself for not going in for a kiss at that moment, I mean that is a pretty crazy thing to do. But, I believe you that she might have been looking for that, and after doing her best to give off the vibe she wanted you, and getting no response, she probably took off because she felt rejected OR thought it was weak of you not to make a move. My idea, you should have made some other kino: taken her hand, done some type of dhv routine. Then, once you got more IOIs, went for the kiss. At least kept her occupied so she didn't have a chance to feel awkward and bail. Also, why not try again, preferably with a wing to engage the friends. Here's a story I hope you may find interesting and relevant. I was at a party in a big dance hall with a bar. Im at the bar and kept getting eyes from this hb8 brunette, with stunner body. She's dancing really sexy and its hard not to look. We catch each other looking like 10 times. Then she comes and stands right next to me at the bar to order a drink. I say hi, and she looks happy that I open her, like this was the plan. I totally relapsed, however, into complete afc shit, saying something DLV about how I suck at dancing - I don't know why, I just noticed how good she could dance and how much she liked showing it off. She raises her eyebrows, kind of like "ok, loser!" and says, "well have a good night." as in, we won't be talking anymore. And walks off. Feeling depressed, I joined a group of Italian guys, who were getting hammered and started egging them on to keep pace with me doing 1 shot of every liquor behind the bar. I stay at the bar with the Italians, people come and go, stopping to greet me. HB8 occasionally still looks, at least she sees that people dig me enough to come over and chat. Hour or two later, I'm smashed, and start talking to some Canadian guy, complaining about the chick, stating I want to get a girl. He immediately gets excited: "lets GO! I will wing for you." I am still being a bitch about my failure, but he is so excited I get motivated. HB 8 is with a group of friends and we approach them. He walks right up, asking: "have you guys met my friend Daniel?" HB8 gives a big smile, and we start talking, now my AFCness remained absent - I had used it all up I guess, and we talk for a while with intense eye contact. The Canadian and HB8s friends drift away without me even noticing. At some point she says she is leaving, do I want to come? I ride my bike with her to her place, giving a random African guy a ride on the back of the bike most of the way - during the ride me and him talk shit to each other and its quite hilarious. We get to her place, and she invites me up. No sex that night, but I started seeing her about once a week. Later I told her she was so harsh that night, and she laughed and said I really surprised her by coming back a second time. This is when she liked me - because I sort of manned up, and showed I am kind of tough enough to take a punch and keep going. Hope the anecdote is relevant - reminded me of this time though! DanO |
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| Author: | Dr. Gruuve [ Wed May 27, 2009 2:41 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Cool story, dude. Yeah, something in the vibe just said "she's inviting you to kiss her". Her drag off my smoke was very seductive...eye contact the whole time, and the way she pursed her lips when she exhaled and continued the eye contact...it almost screamed "kiss me stupid!". LOL. Next time I'll just go for it...what the hell do I have to lose, right? Yeah, I think you're right...she either felt rejected or was unimpressed with my hesitation. Next time. I really have to get better at capitalizing on women who open me...it happens enough that I'm missing out by not moving it forward. Gruuve |
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| Author: | bigcloud [ Sat Jun 06, 2009 3:43 am ] |
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When she said "Im here with some friend" Wouldn't it be a good move to make a line that led her to introduce them to you? at least you get a lead after. But its just me, im a total AFC lol For instance, here's one off my head"Well since i introduce you to the<new cigarette flavour?>, you should introduce me to your friends!" hey what SHOULD you say? experts here probably have way better lines~ |
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| Author: | Dano [ Sat Jun 13, 2009 9:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Good point Bigcloud...actually one of my favorite negs is to tell the girl omg you are so rude! for not introducing me to your friends. Girls will sometimes kind of scramble to recover from their supposed social blunder! |
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