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I'll I do is ask loads of questions
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Author:  supa [ Tue May 05, 2009 7:54 pm ]
Post subject:  I'll I do is ask loads of questions

My boys pointed this out and now rip me for it. Recently went on a snowboarding trip. I was bang on chatting up girls every night. We'd walk into a bar. There'd be a group of like 4-5 girls, I could see my boys and most of the other lads close by checkin them out. I would go buy a drink then come back over and just plonk myself right next to them all and say "alright girls?". And that was it, I'd be away talking to them. I could see the jealous look in all my boys faces, I'd over hear them saying "how the fuck does he do it?" etc.
But my problem is this. I generally just sit there asking loads of questions and making small talk from the answers. I'd ask things like "so what do you all do?" and then chat shit about what they do for a while. I'd get their names and shit and just keep making small talk.
But yeah I could happily sit and chat shit to a girl all night. I'm having trouble taking it to the next stage. I wanna be able to just get to the point, look at a girl and say "you know what, you are hot" or sumink and just see where it goes.

Anyway, any pointers on turning small talk into potential closes??

Thanks

Author:  Undercover-lover [ Fri May 08, 2009 1:35 am ]
Post subject: 

Use these and you should do very well:

Teasing

Threads

Hooks

Storytelling

Open Loops


Teasing
Generally this is just C&F. Tease them in a way that makes them feel good, or that is obviously a joke.

Threads
Think of each conversation, sentence, statement, etc. as being a thread. The more you use it, the more worn out it becomes. The more threads you have, the closer you are to having cloth (meaningful interaction). If you use various threads, and weave them together harmonioulsy, you will have a better cloth than if you used the same thread, and just tossed it together.

Hooks
When listening to another person, imagine each major word or topic as being a hook hanging from their thread. Pick the least obvius and most intersting "hook" and build conversations off of them.

Story Telling

Instead of asking questions, tell stories. If you want to know if they are adventurous, tell a story about adventure. Want to know what they do? Talk about a funny sitatuion at your job (this will also make them ask about what you do). Tell stories that subtley show you good qualities. Avoiod stries tha are negative, gross, or paint you in a bad light.

Open Loops

Occasionally leave stories thoughts, games, etc unfinished. This is a good way to make people bring up conversations, or to insure that a conversation can continue later (phone game for example).

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