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This is ruining my life
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Author:  skittles_99 [ Tue May 05, 2009 12:42 pm ]
Post subject:  This is ruining my life
Whenever i'm out and about, I seem to get a fair amount of IOI's from B's and HB's which leads me to think i'm a reasonably good looking guy in the eyes of a girl. I don't really agree, but that's not the point...

The point is, whenever I approach (I don't really use canned openers, i'm a big fan of Juggler method; I like the naturalness of interaction) we talk for about 5 minutes and I can sense her loosing interest. I don't understand! I practice body rocking, incorporate DHV spikes into my conversation, I neg when appropriate, kino escalate....but STILL!

My aim is become a master conversationalist, but I suck at conversation it seems! What do I talk about pua's? Should I steer the conversation a certain way (obviously away from boyfriends)? Are there certain topics that girls like to talk about? Please help me! This is ruining my life! :!: :?: :!: :cry:
Author:  CaptRow [ Tue May 05, 2009 12:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
use a canned opener once in a while, see where it takes takes you.

just remember, stimulate them intellectually. ask them their opinion, then ask why. give a story, then give em a chance to put in their input
Author:  870 [ Tue May 05, 2009 5:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This is ruining my life
Quote:
Whenever i'm out and about, I seem to get a fair amount of IOI's from B's and HB's which leads me to think i'm a reasonably good looking guy in the eyes of a girl. I don't really agree, but that's not the point...
Actually, it is the point.

All the DHVs, negs, false time constraints and other tactics in the world will never compensate for lacking a sense of self-worth and a generally good self-image. You might be saying, "But 870, she can't possibly know I lack those things when it doesn't come up in conversation." If you are saying that, you're missing the point, because those are exactly the things that are sub-communicated in the way you speak and carry yourself.

The actual content of your conversation is almost totally irrelevant. What women really respond to is the vibe of the interaction and the state you project, a good portion of which is communicated via subtext.

Take this hypothetical scenario for example (paraphrasing from something I read on Herbal's blog a long time ago). Say you've just been out on a date with a beautiful girl, and you're now dropping her off at her house. As you walk her to the door, you have this conversation (subtext in parenthesis):

GIRL: "I had a really great time tonight." (I want you to kiss me.)
AFC: "Really? That's awesome. I had a great time too." (I'm excited because I usually don't do this well with women of your caliber.)
GIRL: "Well, good night! I'll call you tomorrow." (Now I don't want you to kiss me and I won't call you tomorrow.)

That went terribly, right? Notice how the actual conversation flowed smoothly and made sense, but the subtext was totally off. "AFC" didn't communicate anything attractive about himself in that interaction. Now let's try something different:

GIRL: "I had a really great time tonight." (I want you to kiss me.)
PUA: "Really? I had a terrible time!" (My main goal here is to have fun and I could care less about sleeping with you.)
GIRL: *playfully hits PUA* "You did not!" (OK, now I REALLY want you to kiss me.)
PUA: *grabs GIRL and pulls her close for a kiss*

Now even though the actual conversation above makes no sense, the sub-communications match up perfectly leading to a positive outcome. Now why did the PUA sub-communicate attractive things about himself while the AFC didn't? Simple: both of them were projecting their inner state. The AFC who was excited he was finally doing well with a high-value girl sub-communicated his lack of self-confidence while the PUA demonstrated his independence from the outcome of the interaction and a strong sense of reality. Game, set, match :)

Hope this helps.

Your boy,
870
Author:  -Achilles [ Wed May 06, 2009 6:30 am ]
Post subject: 
I hate to tell you this as you said you were a natural gaming fun, but in your case you should incorporate some cold reding routines or others such as the best friends test. everyone's favourite subject is themselves, and women tend to respond more to tests and excersises that thells them "who they really are", so that should thigt up your game and rapport
Author:  joker_jack84 [ Wed May 06, 2009 6:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Uh be random. Hb's seem to like random shit that breaks the day-to-day cycle of stuff.
Author:  Giovanni420 [ Wed May 06, 2009 8:15 am ]
Post subject: 
I read over your situation carefully. I saw no flaws in your game, but the first thing you posted hit me like a rock in my face on a cold day, and got infected later.

"Whenever i'm out and about, I seem to get a fair amount of IOI's from B's and HB's which leads me to think i'm a reasonably good looking guy in the eyes of a girl. I don't really agree, but that's not the point..."

WHAT!?!!??
Dude it looks like a confidence problem. If chicks are checking you out, and crap... what does that mean. They are interested in you! Your first step is getting this bullshit no confidence act out of your head man.

It is the point! Please man. Do not let your confidence kill you. Best of luck, and I want an update.
Author:  skittles_99 [ Wed May 06, 2009 11:57 am ]
Post subject: 
Wow, so many replies! Thanks guys! This is all excellent advice.

I never really thought it, but Giovanni420 and 870 have pointed out that I have a confidence problem, and I think they're right. Alot of these routines i'm afraid to try because I think that I would come off as weird. Like, I think if someone walked up to me and asked me if spells work (Mystery) i'd think that they're a wackjob! I did try the ring routine once, but I crashed and burned pretty hard. I think it's the way i'm doing them, my delivery so to speak, but I will defiantly try some more technology. But still, any more suggestions on the topic are more than welcome, just to enhance my small talk

I'm going to read up on a lot of inner game stuff I think...would this be a good way of getting some confidence? What do you guys suggest?

And who do I credit for the Ring Routine? Mystery?

And Giovanni420, I will update you!

Thanks guys!

Skittles

P.S: 870, i've been reading your posts on humor. Fantastic work dude! Really interesting stuff! I highly recommend them to everyone else.

Peace
Author:  Giovanni420 [ Thu May 07, 2009 9:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just call me Gio man, no formalities needed.


And keep me updated. I want to see three lay reports in the next day!!











lol jk :)
Author:  Mr E [ Fri May 08, 2009 9:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hi guys,

yep, this I reckon is a big reason that some find it so difficult to move into pua territory. confidence.
Women love it. and if it feels right then the game is on. I reckon also that if you learn a few routines whatever then it would increase your confidence.

I have been using the same canned material and more or less the chics respond in a very predictable way to all the rest so this gives you a nice feeling of being in charge or at least able to deal with whatever they are going to put out. During the initial moments it can be a deal breaker how cool you are and it can make a difference

just my 2 cents.
Author:  Fiftyone [ Fri May 15, 2009 2:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Holy crap! I got this same exact problem! (I even posted my own version of this problem in the "opening" seciton of the forums). I know I look good, and I get eye-fucked all the time, YET I dont have the confidence to pull the trigger. It sucks. :( But very good advice though. This community rocks!
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