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Transitioning from pickup to bouncing to going home
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Author:  Munroe (MUNROE) [ Sat Jan 24, 2009 9:45 am ]
Post subject:  Transitioning from pickup to bouncing to going home
So I went out by myself tonight, met a great girl, and bounced her out to a new location for an instant date. We talked for a while and really had a great time together, but I wasn't able to bounce her again to a close spot. I couldn't kiss her where we were because it wasn't appropriate in the environment where we were.

I have some ideas of what I could have done differently, but I want input from you guys as well.

The first problem was that it was about 3:15 am when I tried to take her home. If I had paced myself into more of a 10 to 2 sort of rhythm, I might have pulled it off.

The other problem is that I really didn't know a good thing to say other than "We should go somewhere", and I was a bit nervous when I said it. I got the "I have to work tomorrow" response, which I think was probably true, considering the time, lack of drunkenness, and that she works in a local restaurant.

Another problem was that even though I doubtful as to whether it would work, I was worried that she would look down on me if I didn't pull the trigger. I pulled the trigger and was politely turned down, and now I'm a bit worried how this will affect her perception of the evening and our Day 2 together.

The good news is that I think I have a solid Day 2 coming up. The overall night really went quite well and we had a lot of fun together. The bad news is that she suspects I am a guy who picks up girls a lot (aka a pickup artist); I was just a bit too on.

So here are my questions:

- What are some lines or excuses that you use to make the final bounce into a smooth transition? Before I started all this, all my closes were at girls houses where I was invited.

- What are your experiences logistically in terms of making the final bounce?
Author:  R.G. [ Sat Jan 24, 2009 10:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
So I went out by myself tonight, met a great girl, and bounced her out to a new location for an instant date.
Nice, good work.

Good question too, I like questions on closing; looks like you're really getting somewhere.

My ideas on bouncing to a sex location:

1. Enough attraction
2. Plant the seed (plausible deniability)
3. Rules/standards
4. Roleplay
5. LOGISTICS
6. Bounce.

1.
You need enough attraction, this is self-explanatory.

2.
Plant the seed. Early on in the conversation, a lot of guys seem to use the old "Yeah I have this awesome movie on my laptop like the one you were talking about, we should go see it sometime." The key is that you don't say "we should go see it tonight at 1am in I'm going to seduce you." Haha. You just plant the seed. This will give you (AND HER) an excuse later on to go back to yours. It also gives her plausible deniability. This means she can backward rationalise later (and explain to her friends) that she did not go to yours to have sex. She went to see a movie, and one thing led to another, and yeah. I tend to use my artwork for this.

3.
Rules/standards. These aren't exactly the same thing but I put them together anyway. Resisting the final bounce is like LMR. And one way to combat that is to have LMR yourself, before she does. So, your rules are that you don't sleep on the first date, you don't kiss and tell etc. This helps break her boundaries to make you more of a sexworthy guy, and it eliminates her resistence. (Note, although your rule is you don't actually sleep with her on the first date, once she's at yours obviously you do fuck her, and this makes her feel as if she has earnt you) Standards in that you don't just sleep with any girl, you had some crazy girls trying to pull you the other day and you had to run away, you have a specific taste for girls and will only sleep with them if they conform to it. This makes her feel "special" if she were to sleep with you, and gives her something to work for. Another example of rules: "Well, we can chill at mine for a bit, but only for an hour because I have work tomorrow." (You can even say 5 minutes. It doesn't matter. This is awesome because whatever happens you'll probably fuck her anyway once she's in.)

4.
Roleplay. Who is picking up who? I use this line way too much: "You can come back to mine if you like, but ONLY if you behave yourself." As if she is the one seducing me. "We can go relax at mine for a bit if you like, so long as you keep your dirty little mits off me!" Etc.

5. LOGISTICS
Logistics may be the single most important factor in the close. It's important to find out logistics early on without connoting sexual references, then adapt your game plan. If she has work tomorrow, then you're probably going back to hers only for 5 minutes to checkout her antique furniture (haha). Or, you're giving her a lift home and you're really thirsty and need some water. The second you step into her kitchen and the melons come rolling out. Or, she's giving you a lift, but you suggest you go by hers to checkout her place real quick. Then you suddenly need the toilet desperately. Work is not an excuse for no sex. If the girl wants it, she will do anything to make it happen. You may have had enough attraction (or not), but you also have to be the 'sexworthy guy' that she wants to have romping sex with NOW.

6. Bounce.
When you pose the question (or better still a statement), at least phrase it to your advantage. Not something like:

"err...umm...shall we....go back to mine...hehe." Haha.

It's best to lead on from a conversation (when about to leave):

"have you enjoyed the night so far? (in an upbeat careless tone) Awesome. Give me a hug and go tell your friends bye and that you're coming to checkout my portraits just for 10 minutes. We can watch a movie later if you like but only if you behave yourself, because i have work tomorrow."

^Damn, that wasn't have bad eh? Notice all the presuppositions "the night SO FAR", as if it hasn't ended yet. Also, I usually chuck in the "Give me a hug and..." as a presupposition but also to get her in the 'yes frame', that is, because she gives you a hug, by extension she is subconsciously accepting the next thing you are saying at the two outcomes are attached to each other. We've also got the previous ideas thrown in that we've discussed.

Finally, remember the classic M3 model, you need attraction and comfort (although comfort seems to come more naturally than having to work for it, dunno). Hope this helps.
Author:  Munroe (MUNROE) [ Sat Jan 24, 2009 11:39 am ]
Post subject: 
I think you're right about all those things.

This experience will help me next time. This was the first time I had ever really bounced a girl and attempted to close, so I had a little trouble maintaining state while we were together near the end. Now that I've been there once and have actually experienced the new bearings first hand, things should be smoother.

I had huge attraction and kino built up, but I think it waned a little when I started having trouble keeping state.

I particularly like the idea of planting seeds and role playing. Before I got into all this PUA stuff, I once used to use the line "We can watch the movie on my bed, but I don't want any funny business", and I ended up making out with her later.

I think that in the end, it was mostly a logistical issue that prevented it. I didn't enough attraction and comfort built up to close that late at night. Had it been earlier, I think it would have happened.

Damnit, I just realized I should have walked her all the way to her car, as it wasn't a 100% safe area. I'll remember that for the future.

Anyways, thanks for writing such a long post Mr Gamble.
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