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Help I'm Overwhelmed!
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Author:  Shadow Box [ Thu Jan 08, 2009 6:01 am ]
Post subject:  Help I'm Overwhelmed!
Ok, so I've been in the game but I don't feel like I'm getting any better. I don't know where to begin. When I try to take info in I take too much in and overwhelm myself. I also get discouraged easily, need some help plz.
Author:  JSmooth [ Thu Jan 08, 2009 12:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Help I'm Overwhelmed!
Quote:
Ok, so I've been in the game but I don't feel like I'm getting any better. I don't know where to begin. When I try to take info in I take too much in and overwhelm myself. I also get discouraged easily, need some help plz.
If you get overwhelmed and easily discouraged then it would be my suggestion you work on your "inner" game or mental game. You need to sort yourself out first. When you have a strong "inner game" and beliefs then the other stuff will come be easier.

Work on being a better you first. :)
Author:  Bello [ Thu Jan 08, 2009 8:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
i get the same sort of feeling, its almost like if you cant take it in all at once you've failed. The way i got past this was working in small, logical steps. Go out with the intention of just opening a conversation with guys or girls. Just learn a few openers and try them out. You don't have to to score a number or k-close or w/e every time and if anything, this raises you're social proof as it shows your not just settling for the first thing you can get. If you achieve small goals like this gradually, you can conquer each step at a time and seeing as you have to go from the opening stage each time you start a conversation, each stage you have worked on previous will be continuously improved even if you're not specifically working on it, and will also become more natural to you and less like a routine. This is also a great way of gradually building confidence.

good luck
Author:  Munroe (MUNROE) [ Thu Jan 08, 2009 10:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ummm, how often do you go out?
Author:  Shadow Box [ Sat Jan 10, 2009 9:09 am ]
Post subject: 
I go out on weekends.
Author:  Munroe (MUNROE) [ Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Try to go out more. It doesn't necessarily have to be for sarging; any situation where you're meeting and interacting with new people will help you.

I know you're taking in a lot of information, but remember that the map isn't the territory. This means you shouldn't get too stressed over all this stuff, because they're mostly just theories and generalizations. Also, try focusing on just a few things that you think will help you right now, as opposed to trying to get every small detail or concept perfect every time you go out.

Though the long term goal is to achieve genuine self esteem and confidence, I think an excellent goal for right now would be to learn indifference in regards to peoples' reactions to you. Learn to detach yourself from outcomes and start seeing every night as a learning experience, and your rate of progress will skyrocket.
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