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Being Polite
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Author:  Kleen Kut [ Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:09 am ]
Post subject:  Being Polite
I think this is a real problem for me. I was raised in a family where politeness was stressed, and, I think as a result, certain topics were never brought up (sexuality being one of them). I am not a prude, but I still feel uncomfortable bringing up sex in conversation, and especially with women. I think this has to do with thinking I am being rude/impolite. I am very good at building good rapport, but I stall because I can't sexualize the conversation without feeling weird. I know there must be others that grew up in conservative families and have, as a result, encountered this same problem. Any advice on how to get over this?
Author:  Mithos [ Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:07 am ]
Post subject: 
Well first off you must understand that MOST OF THE THINGS WEVE BEEN TAUGHT IN LIFE IS A LIE!

Storks don't deliver babies and females don't want a guy who's not going to acknowledge sex untill after their married.

Also you don't have to bring up sex in the convo to keep yourself out of the friend zone, kino is also good. But when she brings up sex which they usually do after you've known them a while don't avoid it. Treat them like your friend and talk about it like you would with your guy friends.
Author:  BigJohn [ Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:00 am ]
Post subject: 
You don't have to talk about sex to pick up and score. Politeness and good manners count in your favour. You can make your intent clear with kino and flirting. You'll probably be able to pull reall classy chicks as well. Let your good upbringing work for you. It's an immediate DHV that the AFC doesn't have.
Author:  Stetson [ Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well as long as you'r not going to go and hit on strippers and hookers... It should be just fine ;)!
Author:  Munroe (MUNROE) [ Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Its ok to be polite, IF YOU REALLY BELIEVE IN IT. If you're only doing because you have some preconceived notion that it builds attraction, then you're wrong.

There is no inherent cause and effect relationship between politeness and attraction.

Being polite is fine, but you have to own your politeness and really believe in it. If you do it from a frame of scarcity and not abundance, you will DLV yourself.
Author:  Munroe (MUNROE) [ Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You don't have to talk about sex to pick up and score. Politeness and good manners count in your favour. You can make your intent clear with kino and flirting. You'll probably be able to pull reall classy chicks as well. Let your good upbringing work for you. It's an immediate DHV that the AFC doesn't have.
Most AFCs aren't polite enough? No, most AFCs are overly polite, literally to the point of being compliant.
Author:  Kleen Kut [ Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:34 am ]
Post subject: 
Guys, what I think I'm really trying to get it is how difficult it can be to break habits that are "anti-seductive". Politeness is great in a more formal setting, but in a club or bar, you need to be more playful and less reserved with how you feel. My problem is that politeness is so ingrained in me, that it comes out no matter what. I have to be very conscious of not supplicating myself and be more forceful with what I say or want. I am hoping that it will eventually become more natural to me, but right now I feel uncomfortable with it. I still have that walking on eggshells feel, thinking I might push things too far.
Author:  Munroe (MUNROE) [ Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Think of it like this: being super polite simply isn't fun. Its boring.

Last week I went to a mall and started high fiveing random people. I think this would help you too.
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