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Getting over the ex...
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Author:  Buschlightboy [ Sat Nov 29, 2008 5:54 am ]
Post subject:  Getting over the ex...
I've been broken up with my fiance for like 2 months. Over that 2 months, we've been on and off getting back together. I have slept with 1 other girl during that time, and i know she has slept with 1 other guy.

Just recently, we had 5 straight days where we were back together. The sex was amazing just like i remember. But sure enough we had a fight yesterday and we are back to not talking. Its not a healthy relationship by any means, but honestly.... my biggest problem is the thought of her sleeping with other guys. I know it will get better in the future, but this girl is different than my past ex's. She is the hottest girl ive been with, and she is a FREAK in the bedroom, in every good way possible.

Basically the thought of other guys experiencing that, makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon. I have 3 "serious" relationships in my life, and felt this with all of them, but this one by far takes the cake.

And please dont tell me to just get over it by sleeping with new people ASAP. The times I did that in the last 2 months with that other girl just made me feel worse and want my ex back even more.
Author:  Ezo [ Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:05 am ]
Post subject: 
Hang in there man! If you come up with anything good let me know. I think most of us want to know the secret of getting over the ex!
Author:  sorin93 [ Mon Dec 01, 2008 1:33 am ]
Post subject: 
i know exactly what you mean. it was tough but i just got over an ex.
what worked for me was meeting new girls as often as possible. also, think about all the negative things about your ex that you could not stand. delete her #, put away everything that reminds you of her! and dont think about her. get a rebound girl. dont ask your friends about her. just go on with your life without her. it's tough, i know! i have been through it. but it works. the sooner you find someone else, the better. remind yourself that you can do way better than your ex. good luck.
Author:  Everest [ Mon Dec 01, 2008 2:02 am ]
Post subject:  I know...
I have the exact problem. My girlfriend and I for a year and three months just broke up officially yesterday... We tried the off and on thing for the past month. It sucked cause every time we argued and split my heart broke all over again...

So, now I am sharpening my game back up. I want to get out there and break my approach anxiety again. I still love life, but its hard when you thought everything was going okay with your girlfriend... When in reality was not perfect.

Now i need to calibrate my old situation, learn from my mistakes and move on...

-Everest
Author:  TheLibra [ Mon Dec 01, 2008 8:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yes they are right. Its time to move on. I know exactly where your coming from. I dated a smokin hb, like killer hot, for a while, and when we broke up it killed me. She was amazing in bed too, and that makes it so much harder to let go.Like stated earlier, you have to erase her memory. Delete #s, pics, etc. We'll you can keep pics cuz one day it will be just a memory, but put them somewhere unaccessible. Like your parents house in the attic, so you cant just go and look at them. You just have to treat it almost like she's dead ya know, move forward and dont look back. If you break it off for good, i suggest not talking to her for a while. U can be friends or on good terms, but i would not hang out with her or really talk to her til your thru it. It will just make it harder. Baby steps brah, thats what you gotta do man.
Author:  blanch32 [ Tue Dec 02, 2008 3:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting over the ex...
Quote:
I've been broken up with my fiance for like 2 months. Over that 2 months, we've been on and off getting back together. I have slept with 1 other girl during that time, and i know she has slept with 1 other guy.

Just recently, we had 5 straight days where we were back together. The sex was amazing just like i remember. But sure enough we had a fight yesterday and we are back to not talking. Its not a healthy relationship by any means, but honestly.... my biggest problem is the thought of her sleeping with other guys. I know it will get better in the future, but this girl is different than my past ex's. She is the hottest girl ive been with, and she is a FREAK in the bedroom, in every good way possible.

Basically the thought of other guys experiencing that, makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon. I have 3 "serious" relationships in my life, and felt this with all of them, but this one by far takes the cake.

And please dont tell me to just get over it by sleeping with new people ASAP. The times I did that in the last 2 months with that other girl just made me feel worse and want my ex back even more.

Sounds more like you got some jealousy issues dude. Look, there's a reason why it ended--focus on that b/c that will never change--you'll always been having the same arguments over and over again--just not worth it when you actually do find the right person. How old are you btw?

And w/ any break up two rules apply: 1. You're allowed to mourn for 1 week for every month you dated. So if you were together for 2 years, you get the next 6 months off. Afterward, you need to go out and bang 9 other chicks, and if you still want to be w/ her after all that, then by all means give it one last go and chase her down 100%, but just ensure you're not the same person she broke up w/, and instead "new and improved."
Author:  Kegan [ Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
idk about that one week per month thing. it seems a it much. but this is a great thread and everything in here really works and its how i got over my ex. i also noticed that every time we broke it off it became easier because i just got to the point to where i was fed up with it. best of luck to you guys
Author:  Chanc3 [ Thu Dec 04, 2008 11:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
If you're going to be broken up with her there are two keys:


1) Get support. Whether it be old friends or new, you need to have a support system around you to help when you get down. Family also works.

2) Disconnect from her entirely. Don't check up on her, don't contact her, and don't look at any old pictures of her. MOVE ON. Much easier said than done because I'm in a very similar situation and it SUCKS. We broke up about 4 weeks ago and she's already in another relationship.

I kringe just thinking about her with someone else but you have to move on. If it's not healthy, it's not worth it. This seems to be a very hard concept to get past because my relationship itself was horrible for the last year. In the end, you only get one shot at life so give it all you got.

I can tell you right now she isn't the one for you. I can tell from how you describe the situation. It's more of you not wanting her to be with other people than you being with her. I've been there.

No. Sleeping with random women doesn't cure this but keeping active will. Take your mind off of it. Trust me.
Author:  jlizzle [ Sat Dec 06, 2008 7:17 am ]
Post subject: 
Man reading your post really hit home for me. I broke up with my gf a week ago and I have the exact feelings you do(mind you I was not engaged so I can only imagine).

Me and my x have broken up 5 times now... not sure why I can't learn my lesson. This is the final straw though.

I've found sleeping around doesnt help at all, in fact just like you said it often makes things worse. But I think meeting and hanging around with quality women really would help.

This time around I really wanted to get rid of my feelings so I deleted phone number from my phone, all my texts, her on my msn, pictures on my lap top which all helped. But the biggest favor I did myself this time around BY FAR was removing her as a friend from facebook. Always seeing her statuses and pictures and comments just brought back bad feelings, and since I check it every day, it took a tole on me.
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