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| an introvert PRACTICING coming out of his shell... https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=32603 |
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| Author: | Toner1113 [ Thu Nov 20, 2008 2:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | an introvert PRACTICING coming out of his shell... |
im a 22 yr old male and i work a couple jobs so, being an introvert, over the past few weeks i've been trying to be as social as possible with almost every customer i see while i'm at work. some examples i use while i work at Starbucks: "how's you're morning/day going so far?" "got anything planned for the rest of the day?" "did u do anything fantastic over the weekend?" some examples i use at the parking toll booth job: "did you have a good visit downtown tonight?" - "yeah? what'd you do, grab some dinner/drink, go shopping?" the problem i've come across, first of all, is that i cant think of anything else to "open" with. it gets a little monotonous repeating those same lines customer after customer. especially to the regulars at starbucks who i see almost daily (i sometimes just dont converse with them at all since i dont wanna ask them the same question i asked almost every other day that week). second of all, sometimes after using those openers i mentioned, it leads into a deeper conversation about what that person does for a living or something to that nature. i have trouble keeping the conversation short and sweet in those instances, which usually ends up in an awkward farewell because i have to get back to making drinks or taking the next customers' order. (i guess thats where being in control of the conversation comes into play?) third of all, i know that something different i can open up with is saying something like "oh thats a nice ___ , what made you decide to wear that?" or something along those lines. And while i've used that a couple times with good results, i only used it on ppl who were wearing things PARTICULARLY original/unique (matching nails earrings and shirt, or a regular customer who just dyed their hair, etc.). i often find it hard to find something to compliment someone on who's wearing plain clothes (maybe i'm not being creative enough). i mean i know i can just say "thats a nice shirt", but what do i follow up with? also, i've been reading about body language and have made some adjustments to myself that i find rather interesting. i noticed while walking down the street simply holding myself up straighter, head up(not looking at the ground), and smiling often gives strangers a warm or friendly feeling and they more often than not make eye contact and smile back. i'm on the verge of starting the newbie drill, but i keep second guessing myself and find excuses not to go and open a set (i.e. opinion openers dont work well on 1 sets, its hard to make opinion openers sound genuine, fear of them having heard that particular canned opener, cant picture myself holding the conversation for long after the opener, etc.) i think a big problem is that i need to be more charismatic (inner game?) thoughts? |
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| Author: | R.G. [ Thu Nov 20, 2008 5:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Hey man, First of all well done for coming out of your shell. Good start. Next thing to do, is convert your work game to real game. You can't sarge while you're working, it's a fact - the reason why conversations close fast is not because you're not controlling the conversation or whatever, but because they want their coffee, and you have to go do your work or get kicked up the ass by your boss. (However, as a salesperson I game while I'm working too, high 5!). So your inner game is low. Best thing to do is just do millions of 'fuck it' approaches. Just go up to sets, 1-sets to begin with if you are shy, and just say whatever. Go up to them and announce "PURPLE MONKEY" etc. Don't give a shit about getting blown out. That's not the goal. THe goal is to approach. JUST DO IT. Opinion openers work fine on 1-sets, I use them all the time. For conversation after the opener, just have a few pre-planned things to say, later when you get good you can forget these. But for now, remember to say something about what she's wearing, comment on what type of person she seems like, what's her favourite night club etc. Read multithreading by Mystery in the Mystery Method. And rememeber, JUT DO IT. |
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| Author: | Chinaski [ Fri Nov 21, 2008 1:25 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Hey I've got a friend who works at Starbucks and has literally pulled every girl in his life from there in the last two years. Now not to condone that extreme example but nonetheless, he's doing something right while there. I asked him his main approach strategy and he said the thing does best is remember his customer's names. So when they come back in he builds that warm rapport with them. Everyone likes being called by their names (as countless books tell you). Then because he's working he goes casual like, "oh you like hiking?" "woah that's cool, we should go sometime." something along those lines. Really friendly and positive. Hope this helps Peace |
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