PUA Forum :: Eye Contact...Too Intense?

So I'm posting on this because it HAS BECOME a sticking point. This has happened to me three times, not in a row, but over a period of a few months.

Once in Pacific Beach California I was at a bar called Nick's. Myself and Smooth (smoothcriminal here on the forums) went in and started mingeling. We make it out to the back of the balcony and we chat up this four set, two guys with two of those Craig's List Girls (if you get my drift). Well during our conversation with these absolutely cool people I make eye contact with a classy, respectable looking girl at the table to my left, not directly to my left, but within a few paces. She holds eye contact, I hold it, smile...then get up to go talk to her. Now she's with a group of people, like seven, a mixed set, but I figure she's detached from the conversation and she looks bored. But when I move in, she looks up, notices, smiles, BUT WALKS AWAY!!! And not in the "follow me" kinda way, but in the "holy shit he's actually comming over" kinda way. Did I scare her off, exceed her expectations? I'm not sure.

Similar situations took place a couple of other times, but I'm not sure if I'm being too assertive, or if I'm coming off as over aggressive.

Let me know what you think guys. Thanks.

Author:	MrBravado [ Sun Oct 26, 2008 6:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Eye Contact...Too Intense?
So I'm posting on this because it HAS BECOME a sticking point. This has happened to me three times, not in a row, but over a period of a few months. Once in Pacific Beach California I was at a bar called Nick's. Myself and Smooth (smoothcriminal here on the forums) went in and started mingeling. We make it out to the back of the balcony and we chat up this four set, two guys with two of those Craig's List Girls (if you get my drift). Well during our conversation with these absolutely cool people I make eye contact with a classy, respectable looking girl at the table to my left, not directly to my left, but within a few paces. She holds eye contact, I hold it, smile...then get up to go talk to her. Now she's with a group of people, like seven, a mixed set, but I figure she's detached from the conversation and she looks bored. But when I move in, she looks up, notices, smiles, BUT WALKS AWAY!!! And not in the "follow me" kinda way, but in the "holy shit he's actually comming over" kinda way. Did I scare her off, exceed her expectations? I'm not sure. Similar situations took place a couple of other times, but I'm not sure if I'm being too assertive, or if I'm coming off as over aggressive. Let me know what you think guys. Thanks.

Author:	V1V [ Sun Oct 26, 2008 7:13 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Eye Contact...Too Intense?
Quote: So I'm posting on this because it HAS BECOME a sticking point. This has happened to me three times, not in a row, but over a period of a few months. Once in Pacific Beach California I was at a bar called Nick's. Myself and Smooth (smoothcriminal here on the forums) went in and started mingeling. We make it out to the back of the balcony and we chat up this four set, two guys with two of those Craig's List Girls (if you get my drift). Well during our conversation with these absolutely cool people I make eye contact with a classy, respectable looking girl at the table to my left, not directly to my left, but within a few paces. She holds eye contact, I hold it, smile...then get up to go talk to her. Now she's with a group of people, like seven, a mixed set, but I figure she's detached from the conversation and she looks bored. But when I move in, she looks up, notices, smiles, BUT WALKS AWAY!!! And not in the "follow me" kinda way, but in the "holy shit he's actually comming over" kinda way. Did I scare her off, exceed her expectations? I'm not sure. Similar situations took place a couple of other times, but I'm not sure if I'm being too assertive, or if I'm coming off as over aggressive. Let me know what you think guys. Thanks. dont hold eye contact for over three seconds if you havent approached. if you fuck up the three second rule then wait for her to make eye contact and smile. if she smiles back then good. break eye contact and a few mins l8r look over again. make eye contact and smile. a second smile from her is an invitation over. V1V

Author:	rigoberto [ Sun Oct 26, 2008 7:56 pm ]
Post subject:
Yeah, I didn't see from your post as to whether she gave some kind of reply to you when you smiled, but I'd have waited for some kind of cue. You smiling/nodding/gesturing in some way is kind of like saying "Hey, I see you're looking at me", so I'd want to get back some sort of reply from her that says "yeah, that's right, and I like what I see". Without that, it's hard to tell if she has real interest or if she just noticed you've got guacamole pasted to the side of your face. I think you might want to look at that EC connection as a good first step but get some kind of non-verbal communication before approaching. Another thing is about the straight walk-across-the-room approach; experience has taught me to try to avoid that unless I've gotten enough IOIs to be pretty sure there's some level of attraction. I usually look for a reason to walk by (bathroom, bar, etc.) and kind of "notice" her while I'm on the way or coming back. That way, if she blows you off like that, you can shrug your shoulders and keep going where you were going without having to do the "walk of shame" back to your table. It's also a little more of a subtle approach that is less likely to scare her off than if you were to just come charging in.

Author:	Joshua420 [ Fri Oct 31, 2008 7:03 am ]
Post subject:
David Shade has done work w. EC experiments. Im not sure about everything he says but its worth readin http://www.pickupguide.com/eyecon.htm

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