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i need some inner game help. one bitch of a sticking point..
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Author:  stereomuse [ Mon May 26, 2008 4:44 pm ]
Post subject:  i need some inner game help. one bitch of a sticking point..
Alright. heres the deal. I have game, im very polished, im attractive, im confident, im clever. I can get the girls i want, im very good at creating attraction. But i have a huge problem. i CAN NOT go in for the kill. i was lucky enough to run into david deangelo's stuff when i was 14 so ive got the material and the swagger. But since i was that young i took some of it in the wrong way. i thought that you shouldnt show ANY interest at all. And ive had this thought dug into my deep inner game for a long time.

so whenever its crunch time. im alone with the girl, weve been clicking all night, its time for some action. I just cant go for it. I pussy out. When i know its time to make the move my heart starts pounding and i get extremely nervous and even tell myself that i dont want to fuck tonight and try to get out of there as soon as possible. I feel that if i act like i wanna get some shell think thats all i want and reject me. I suppose a fear of rejection is also a factor in this dilema. the worse part about this is I KNOW THATS NOT HOW IT IS. i know that women like being pursued, i know they like it when you show interest. I cant get over this hump. Hell ive had a lot of prospects over the last year. All hot girls that were into me but i just couldnt make that final move. there was a mental wall there. The only girl ive gotten with is my last girlfriend who was very very straight forward with the fact that she liked me and basically told me to ask her out.

So, i need some help. Do you have any advice to get through this mental wall? any exercises or mental checklists for this specific problem? its killing me. I see how much of a pussy im being but i cant help it, its embedded into the bedrock of my personality.
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Author:  puanumpty [ Mon May 26, 2008 5:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Close some chicks that you have absolutely no interest in - im talking about HB5's and under - I take it you have no probs when you meet a guy thats a friends friend and you get his number to arrange a night out... get in the same mind set and get an ugly chicks number and go from there.

While you have the mental block you need to put everything out of your mind, maybe read some of the posts on here theres tons of them where this has been addressed over and over - type "freezing" into the search box.

Maybe listen to a confidence Hypnosis CD.... get more girl 'friends'... spend more time around girls not trying to pick them up, just chatting and whatever to get your comfort zone.

You said you started learning this stuff when you was 14? How old are you now?

Numpty :P
Author:  stereomuse [ Mon May 26, 2008 11:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
thanks for the advice. Im 18. i have tons of girl "friends", lots of whom are attracted to me. im completely comfortable around women, its just hard for me to make a move
Author:  djdd [ Tue May 27, 2008 10:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is taken from Tony Robbins. Put in your fear of going for the kill and write this exercise out Next time you don't wanna pull the trigger, rerun this exercise real quick:

Write down two limiting beliefs that has caused you to not fulfill your life?
1. Willing to experience pain
-close your eyes and see what your limiting beliefs costs you in your self-confidence, energy level, financial, what do you say to yourself when you live with these beliefs, what kind of role model are you, how does it hurt your relationship with your creator
-drag all the limiting feelings with you and take every one of those with you 5 years in the future, how do you look like in the mirror? Do you look more alive or less alive? What about physically? Energy and flexibility? Career? What have you missed out on? Feel it and don’t just think it. What about relationship? What does it cost financially?
-now go ten years ahead
-now go twenty years of pain with you
2. What are two positive beliefs that you want to believe instead? Write them down.
-what is the opposite of those two beliefs?
3. Now imagine yourself 5, 10, and 20 years with your new beliefs.

Chill
Woman's Guide to Seduction
Author:  stereomuse [ Tue Jun 03, 2008 2:37 am ]
Post subject: 
wow... sounds deep, ill try it.
Author:  ace_of_spades [ Tue Jun 03, 2008 12:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
I had a profound realization about a similar problem a few months ago. It's actually so fucking simple I'm embarassed it took a revelation to handle it.

What will happen if you don't kiss her? She'll have an endearing memory of 'this sweet guy' (hint: you) she met a few days back while a badboy with the balls to close and escalate is fucking her doggy-style.

What will happen if you do? Logically, one of two things. You'll end up fucking her doggy style, or you'll hear 'not now'. It's not 'never ever' - it's 'not enough attraction, not enough BT, not enough emotional stimulation'.

The brick wall you ran into is not as solid as it seems. All it takes is the realization that if you don't move in for the kill, the pickup will go nowhere. Neither you nor her will get the amazing experience you are there to create.

I agree with Chill's idea of 'what will my life look like in twenty years' if I don't close. You have to realize that a change must take place, and the only way it's gonna happen is with your decision. Just like approaching. You see a set, you snap your fingers, make the decision to approach and go for it. There is no magic pill, no hypnotic DVD that will take care of the problem for you. In the end, it boils down to you wrestling your 'fear of closing', much like you had to wrestle the 'fear of the approach' when you started out.
Author:  Infamous110 [ Tue Jun 03, 2008 12:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Guys, I love these responses. You have outdone yourself.

It is really a case of worry about what you're going to say/do after you've said/done it. If you worry before then you give yourself chance to rationalise an excuse.

That way you either end up where you were before you said/did it, or you can take that next step. Either way you'll feel better about the situation in a couple of hours because at least you know.
Author:  Chiggs [ Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
I got something else you might read. I stumbled on it a while back when i was having your same problem. You just need to get the balls to do it once, after that its no big deal.

http://seductionbase.com/seduction/cat/ ... r/308.html
Author:  stereomuse [ Mon Jun 09, 2008 4:26 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I got something else you might read. I stumbled on it a while back when i was having your same problem. You just need to get the balls to do it once, after that its no big deal.

http://seductionbase.com/seduction/cat/ ... r/308.html
wow. thank you for that article. i needed that. that actually hit me spot on. Haha wow, i adressed a serious psychological problem today, hopefully i can improve on that now that i understand what the root of the problem is.
thank you
Author:  Maverick_ [ Mon Jun 09, 2008 7:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
stereomuse I am in almost the exact same situation as you. I discovered the community almost 6 months ago and since then my life has drasticly changed not just with girls but socially aswell. I am 17, have always been a social person but i was just a bit shy when meeting new people however this has almost if not completely gone. My game has also improved drasticly and of course im no player yet and still have a long way to go but the easiest way to explain it would be to say that i now "get it". Attractions not that hard. However since working on myself i have not actually 'closed' with one girl. I thaught this was just due to a misfortune of circumstance and i just needed to make that leap and get that part of my game handled. However after reading this thread and following that same link ive realised its something deeper. Ive still got a long way to go. Thinking back there were oppertunities where something could have happened but i'd either not go for it or sabotage my own chances in some way. Basicly what im saying is im in tha same boat as you. I bet like me you thaught you only had fine tuning to do and the majority of the essential inner game work was done but after reading that realised that FUCK, still got a couple deeep weeds to uproot yet.

I did some searching around and if you haven't already stumbled across it heres an article i've found helpful in starting this journey and waking me up to this hurdle:
Im not alowed to post URLs aparently if i have not previously posted before to deter spammers. But just type 'fear of intimacy' into google and it should be the second link. A site called Joy2meu

I've also ordered a couple books from amazon on the topic:
Fear of Intimacy by Robert W. Firestone and Joyce Cattlett
And Codependence / The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney (The same guy who wrote the article above. This is the book im looking foreword to the most, but its taking a couple weeks to come as im in the UK and its from across the pond)
I'll let you know what there like once i delve into them.

Its a longer road ahead than i thaught but shit its exiting to shine the spotlight on something thats in a way been corrupting all of my relationships behind my back most of my life and hey, some people say identifying a problem is half way to solving it.

PM me if you want someone to help tackle this with

Luke
Author:  Senpai [ Wed Jun 11, 2008 1:25 am ]
Post subject: 
Beautiful stuff.. all around.
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