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After number close
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=195397		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  WhiteFedora [ Thu Mar 03, 2016 1:33 am ]
Post subject:  After number close
I guess i'll start with what i can do:

I hang out at a local lounge during evenings and i usually walk up to all kinds of people using openers like "how is your night going so far", "what are you reading?" "what are you guys playing?". A lot of the time i'm able to talk to them and i ask questions about them and focus on their live's and what they're interested in (a tactic i learned from Dale Carnigee's book). A few times i've managed to get a number close. The problem is i'm dead spunk at this point, usually whenever i text them i never really get a reply or i just don't know how to set up any future meetups. What's the right way to ask? Is there a right way? Do i just fucking say "hey i'm so and so do you want to something something?" i haven't had very much success with that approach.

I'll use one example from about a week ago:

I'm walking outside to the outer bar of my lounge and i see a group a girls sitting at table looking around, one cute girl has a book and she's reading it. So i sit down next to her and i say shiveringly "fuck it is so fucking cold" (it was). She said something around the lines of "yea it is way too cold". I ask her what she's reading and she tells me it's a mystery book and we go from there. I have a long discussion with her about many things from books to our city, to Dr. Who and it was pretty enjoyable, i mostly asked questions and talked about her as that seems to work best for me at the moment. Some guy sits down next to me and starts competing with me over the girl talking about his damn real estate company he sold and moved or whatever, i found it hard to believe because he looked like he was 12, but i digress. I managed to kinda maybe alpha him by drawing the attention back to me. Anyways he left and i started talking with the girl again. It started getting late and i have college and i'm a reasonable responsible good boy so i close with asking her for her number and telling her to tell me any good books she comes out to read (she says "sure that sounds great").

I get her number and i send her a closing night text on my way back home stating something like "hey Jessica (not her actual name), it was a good talk, let me know any good books that you come across and read. I never got a reply.

Now i should add that she mentioned she's bad at replying and that she's shy which is probably the main reason why she didn't reply but the huge issue is i felt stuck not really sure how to continue this awesome vibe that was going on.

I'll give another example and see if you guys can diagnose what's going on with this AFC fedora wearin goose.

This example is more recent, we'll call this cutie Sarah. This night up until this point was generally a dud, i didn't really meet a ton of people and my suffocating anxiety was really kicking in so i had the typical "fuck it we're doing something to prove myself that i can do this" moment. I sat down next to Sarah and asked her how her night was going, she said "pretty good i don't get out much but i'm here with some friends" we started talked about all sorts of stuff like work and video games. Overall things were alright, i was a tiny bit nervous, i'm always afraid of a damn awkward silence and not knowing what to say (i'm getting better thankfully). I was just about to get her number when her friend came up and started talking to her and completely CB'd me (for the lack of a better word). Once again i felt i needed to be a responsible adult and i noticed it was getting late so i later wrote my gamer id on a napkin (even though i don't really game much anymore) and handed it to her telling her to add me, she said she would but i knew from reading her that she wouldn't and sure enough she didn't.

It would seem in both these examples my conversations are ok but i'm doing something wrong with maybe building interest. Perhaps i'm overusing Dale Carnigee's tactics (they are more general social psychology methods and business methods than seduction).

So what do you guys think i'm doing wrong, what should i do to help get text's back and future meetups? Note this is primary focused on women but i'm also looking for general friendships, introverted programming is getting very lonely.

In my own self reflection, it seems like i'm taking a less seductive approach and more of a friendly approach, any thoughts on this?

I'll take any advice or criticism, thank you very much for help,
Author:  oceanx [ Thu Mar 03, 2016 11:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: After number close
Call out the silence if you want - reframe it that the two of you are comfy with each other. It works and it's true :D
Quote:
In my own self reflection, it seems like i'm taking a less seductive approach and more of a friendly approach, any thoughts on this?
You answered your own question. They're not interested in making a new pal per se if they're looking for a guy to chill with. You have to ensure that they put you in the bucket of "potential sex partner" rather than the bucket of "friendly dude" so they know how to categorize you vis a vis them.

Also tell yourself that the girl will have more respect for you if you make a socially calibrated play for meeting up with her at a later date or that night rather than not doing so.
Author:  WhiteFedora [ Fri Mar 04, 2016 5:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: After number close
Quote:
Call out the silence if you want - reframe it that the two of you are comfy with each other. It works and it's true :D
Quote:
In my own self reflection, it seems like i'm taking a less seductive approach and more of a friendly approach, any thoughts on this?
You answered your own question. They're not interested in making a new pal per se if they're looking for a guy to chill with. You have to ensure that they put you in the bucket of "potential sex partner" rather than the bucket of "friendly dude" so they know how to categorize you vis a vis them.

Also tell yourself that the girl will have more respect for you if you make a socially calibrated play for meeting up with her at a later date or that night rather than not doing so.
Awesome advice! thanks. I think i'll focus entirely on seductive techniques and keep my general friendly techniques for the guys and business. Thank you very much :)
Author:  oceanx [ Fri Mar 04, 2016 5:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: After number close
Right on man; just flirt w/ them
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